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So, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not doing so hot. Partly it's observing that I haven't been sleeping well, and part of it is other factors.

I've set up a notebook to track various details etc. Hopefully it will give me some data that I can use to match up with what's going on in my life - track if the problems happen more at specific times, etc. Maybe if there is a pattern, I'll be able to do something about it.

We'll see.

Went to a pride meeting tonight. Had a good time. Gave M back his pen. I think I prefer the Kaweco Sport over the Pilot Metropolitan. Though he did suggest that there are some other small pens that might suit my needs (light weight etc). Will stick with Kaweco for now.

And also sent him recommendations for Beam Paints, because I brought my kit (along with the Kaweco pen).

Dressed very goth. Added a blazer to my typical outfit and it really brought it together. My makeup looked good.

At the same time, I didn't feel great about myself. I think it might be the wintertime blahs. Ah, well. It does feel good to continue experimenting with makeup at least.

Having one of those days where I feel like running off to live in a cabin in the woods. Or like, digging a burrow and never coming out.

I was supposed to spend some time cleaning the dojo this weekend, but VP was so disorganized that we didn't accomplish anything at all. She was late, didn't have a to-do list, didn't have the materials for the things she wanted us to do. We ended up pissing around with a time-consuming repair task that we don't actually have the knowledge or material to do properly - sewing the holes in the crash mats - so the work we did do will probably come apart as soon as it gets used. She seemed to think I would be willing to stay all day, but I bowed out at 11 AM, saying I had stuff to do. I got up at 6:30 for that?

It feels kind of silly to still be annoyed about it a couple days later, but it ate up a lot of my precious free time in order to accomplish absolutely jack shit, and now here I am on Monday morning wishing I didn't have to go to work because I lost out on part of my weekend. I really, really hate it when people waste my time.

On the upside, I do think I managed to get it through to her in our discussion that I am not that dedicated and that judo is not my life. I have other hobbies. I'm trying to cut back and do less. If she wants capital C level of Commitment in terms of volunteering for the club, she will have to look to the competitors and their parents, because I am not going to do that.

+ Signups for crackthewip have started! The goal for this event is to finish a work in progress; posting closes June 30. I really like this event, so I'm glad it's running again. I think I will try to finish the rarepair WIP I started a few days ago. Maybe something else too, if I have time. Though I'm at the point where I'm like, "What do I even have in the WIP folder, anyway?" Going to have to, uh, take a look through that mess and see what's what.

+ I made bread for the first time! The recipe I used was Classic White Sandwich Bread by King Arthur Flour. It turned out pretty okay! Not perfect, but like, it's definitely edible bread. Turned out more heavy and dense than my liking, but I am going to assume that's to do with my exceptionally Beginner kneading. The instant yeast came in a package of 3, so I am definitely going to try to make bread 2 more times before deciding whether I enjoy making bread or not. Jury is currently out on that front, but I do feel pretty pleased with myself for actually trying it.

+ The set of Beam Paints watercolours I received the other day is just as nice as I'd hoped it would be! They're very vibrant and pigmented. Because the tin doesn't have a mixing surface, I have to be careful and mix directly on the paper - which is not bad, just a technique that I typically do not use. And just as I expected, the travel brush that came with the set is very, very good - perfect size for the postcard-sized sheets I prefer to work with. I'm so happy I decided to buy it; I mean, yeah, my tubes are nice, but this was a wonderful little treat and the quality is amazing.

+ Livejournal: A reminder to back up your LJ and/or import it to DW if you haven't already. Recent dust-ups in the RU side of LJ have led to speculation about the site's future. There is a thread about it by Rahaeli on Bluesky over here. I think I backed up everything the last time stuff looked shaky, but I'm going to have to check to see if I downloaded fics by my friends who didn't make the import. (I think I did, but where the heck did I save them? Who knows.)

+ I love the start of a new year. It feels so good to put together my annual to-do list and figure out all the new things I want to try, plus the stuff I already enjoy that I want to do more of. Happy 2026!

Full calendar for the 2026 events I'm participating in, due dates, etc.
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So, I ordered a set of watercolours from Beam Paints back in November, and it just arrived today. Two shades of green, two yellow, one red, and one dark blue. It's actually bundled with a Kaweco Sport fountain pen, and comes in the pen tin along with a travel paintbrush. It's quite a nice little set and I can hardly wait to try it out.

The Kaweco pen (plastic, medium nib) is very different from the Pilot Metropolitan (metal, extra fine nib) that my pen-enthusiast acquaintance loaned me. It's quite small; narrower than the Pilot pen, and when capped it's roughly 10 cm; with the cap off and stuck on the back, it's roughly 13cm. VS the Pilot, which is 13.5 capped and roughly 15 uncapped. The Kaweco pen is much, much lighter, which I appreciate because honestly, my hands are rather weak and I've always had issues with heavy pens. I would never write anything extensive (such as fic) with the Pilot pen, but I could potentially see myself doing so with the Kaweco pen. Mind you, I'm not about to give up the cheapass Bic rollerballs that I use as my main fic-writing medium.

The Kaweco pen came with one cartridge tucked backward inside of it; apparently this is standard for this pen. Probably due to shifting in transit, there was a godawful mess; ink everywhere. I had to clean things out a bit before using. Since there was spillage, I'm not quite sure how long that cartridge will last, but I'm going to eventually buy a converter regardless, so it doesn't matter so much.

The travel brush is quite nice; good weight, feels like good quality. It's a really versatile size and I can see myself using it a lot.

...Unfortunately I haven't had a chance to actually use any of the paints, which were the entire reason I bought this set. But hopefully I will get to it within the next few days. I'm super looking forward to trying it out. :V