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Feeling very tired.

The new person in my team is moving to a different department. I knew she had plans to do that eventually, but I figured it'd be after like a year or something, not after just a few months. She was only just getting comfortable doing the work by herself. It isn't the end of the world, but it's inconvenient for me. It's only recently that I started being comfortable with booking time off.

I feel like every time I complete a task, another one pops right up. It's like I'm constantly spinning my wheels.

Did my physiotherapy exercises. I'm exhausted with this stuff already. Not looking forward to having to do this for... weeks/months/however much is needed.

Friday kind of sucked. Work was like... I kept getting the run-around whenever I tried to contact people; sending emails with no response, calling people who said they'd reply to my email and then they didn't, that kind of thing. And somebody in one of the other offices was rude when I asked her a question. Though she probably didn't mean to be rude; she was probably just busy.

And a simple task ended up taking an hour and I don't know if it'll actually be complete when I get back on Monday because it depends on what the other person says. Ughhhhh.

And then when I got home it's like... I wasn't capable of doing much of anything at all. It took me hours to have supper and get the dishes washed. WTF.

On the upside, I did finish reading a book that I enjoyed. It wasn't super amazing but I did enjoy it. (The Fisherman by John Langan.) So there is that.

I feel well enough to go to judo today, so I think I'll go. Maybe throwing people around will help with this frustration.

Today wasn't so great. It was hella cold. I wanted to go shopping, but it turns out that the store I wanted to go to is closed on Sundays. Went to mom's to drop off some things, and then she needed me to process a return for her, so I ended up driving downtown to drop it off. I didn't get home until, like, 4PM.

Just feels like a bust, really.

There was a total mess at work on Friday. I didn't cause it, but I brought it to attention. (Basically, my department isn't responsible for paying for a thing, but the other department doesn't think they are responsible for paying for it either. And the thing needs to happen.) And I'm not the person who is responsible for fixing it. But it's kind of a clusterfuck and like... well. It sure is a thing. I'm going to discuss this issue with my manager how these situations should be handled, because I can't believe it hasn't come up before.

Anyway. More today.

So I was sitting there at Micky D's, having some fries for lunch. There were a couple of guys hanging out across the way, talking about music and just chilling. It was nice. It seemed like they were having fun. I miss having somebody to just hang out with in a low-pressure kind of way. I really miss that.

I have a mountain of ironing that I really don't want to tackle. But I can't avoid doing it because my work pants are part of the pile. Ugh. ...Guess I'll do it after I wash the supperdishes. Ugh.

+ Took mom to the local pottery guild sale. I bought a sandwich plate that she thinks is hideous but I think is adorable.

+ Signed up for a quickbooks course that starts next week. I don't want to be doing homework at Christmas but I do want to get this last course for the certificate over with.

+ Had a video call with one of the people on my team. None of us are in the same city, which is a bummer. Anyway it was just a "get to know you" thing. She's very nice.

+ Work continues to be slow. I've read so many books. My boss should be coming back some time this week and my job is scheduled to pick up in January; in the meantime there isn't much for us to be trained on.

+ Had Bea over for coffee and told her all about the drama that's been going down with the judo club. Her kids used to be in judo so she's familiar with some of our senseis. And she's been involved in various orgs so she knows how things can get challenging when nobody wants to be on the board but the board is required to keep things functioning.

+ My brother's dog is finally fixed. He's on pain pills at the moment and kind of stoned and tired, which results in him being better behaved than I've ever seen him in his life.

+ Someone found a lost dog across the street from my parents. Golden retriever, well-trained, looks recently groomed. And it was super cold that day. And we're all like, "Who the hell does this dog belong to and why can't we find the owners?" There have been people posting all over trying to find out who this dog belongs to. The situation is weird! It's not the kind of dog that one would expect to escape unnoticed with nobody caring that it's gone; somebody must be missing this baby.

+ I haven't written in weeks, and I miss it. But I just don't have time. Maybe when the course is done.

I put "make lunch for work" back on my daily to-do list.

Feels good, man.

Got updated vaccines today. Both influenza and covid at once. Pharmacist offered and I was like, "Okay, sure, just fuck me up". I'll be fine, though, just a little bit sore right now. We'll see how I am in judo tomorrow. Looking forward to class; we didn't have any on Monday because it was a stat.

Received an offer. Accepted. I have some paperwork that I need to send in, and some regulations that I will have to read, but there is that. I'm still kind of stressed about it, though. They said it would take 2-3 business days, but it was actually 6 business days, so maybe it's just lingering stress from the waiting. But I'll be honest, I don't think I'll feel at-ease for a while. At least the ball is rolling now, though. I start on the 28th.

I worked on an old SSSS wip today. Feels kind of weird. I still enjoy it (well, the first adventure) but I'm also still mad at the author. It's a weird place to be. I still really like this fic though, and I'm glad that I decided to actively work on it and try to finish it. And I kept all of my SSSS and aRTD icons because I still like them.

Been trying to clear out a lot of wips lately, honestly. There are a lot of little scribbly things that might not be deep or plotty or amazing, but I still enjoyed writing them, so I want to finish them. I'm doing my best to try. I've also been trying to make myself post the links to them. It's hard to make myself do that because my immediate reaction is "Ugh, I don't wanna" but on the other hand, a lot of these are rare pairings, and I know that the handful of people who ship them will probably be happy to see something new.

I've also been trying to take care of various "life admin" stuff like appointments and... tidying various places in the house. I have some time for that, since my accounting class is finished. The next one that I have to take is introductory Quickbooks, and I might need to put that off until next year due to all of the shuffling around that's happening re: job. We'll see.

I'm going to need to re-adjust my sleep schedule. ...So. Uh. Bedtime now.

I washed my hair this morning. I don't normally do it in the morning, it's more of an after-exercise kind of thing, but I felt so awful getting out of bed today that it seemed necessary to do something indulgent that I'd normally only do on vacation.

Received update on one of the jobs I interviewed for on Friday. I wasn't selected. This is very disappointing, because it was a really good job - for more pay than I was making at the previous. It's an HSE consulting company, and they had an applicant with HSE background (helpful even when it's an admin position, considering) so... that was why. I was glad that they explained about that, because otherwise I tend to worry that maybe they just didn't like me or they thought I presented myself unprofessionally or something like that. It's easier to accept it when it comes down to qualifications.

Still sucks, though.

Had to ask my prof about the assignment I'm working on because one of the tasks is unclear. I hate doing that - feel like I should be able to figure it out myself - but it's better to ask for clarification and look incompetent than to be incompetent and guess at what needs to be done and get a poor grade as a result of doing so. ...I'm not sure if he's replied yet, I haven't turned on my school computer to check. Ugh.

Judo starts next week. They've switched to a new method for processing payments, and it looks like it'll be a big improvement, but I'm sure there will be some teething issues along the way. I'm unsure whether I will be able to pay for the whole season all at once per usual using the new way, or if I'll have to contact the club separately - we'll see. Apparently with the new setup we'll also be able to pay for our new club merch that way, which is cool. I'll probably buy a hat once I get a job. The rashguards are also super cool, but... Very expensive and I've been doing well enough with wearing old tshirts under my gi for now, so.

They've also introduced a volunteer levy this year. You get it back after you complete your volunteer hours. I'm not inherently opposed to it, though scheduling can be an issue and there are some things that I just will not do (casinos, ugh). But I think this autumn we'll be setting up a table in the mall to sell chocolates, so I'll probably do that. We'll see.

[edit]

Prof got back to me. I ended up having to send him more questions, though. WELL, it is what it is. I always feel so stupid when I can't figure something out myself, but... It's not the end of the world. Hopefully I'm on the right track with this assignment.

I thought I'd received a package in the mail today, but it turned out to be oversized spam from a charity org. I had been expecting/hoping for something from a friend, so that was disappointing. The org sent me a free calendar for 2025. It's pretty all right. Thing is, though, I haven't donated to this org in ages, and this kind of thing is the reason why - I have no idea how much they spend on sending people unsolicited stuff like this, but it can't be that cheap. (If it was "donate X amount and receive Y free thing" then that would be different.) I later discovered that they have some ethical issues, which is another reason that I stopped donating to them. ...Anyway, that's sure a thing that I received in the mail today.

Ugh.

I just don't feel good today. My mood is in the tank.

I didn't want to get out of bed today, but I did it, because I had to go to the dentist. And the appointment was okay, but since my work insurance was terminated, I only have my own supplementary insurance, so I had to pay for part of it. That is a big bill that I wasn't anticipating, along with all the other big bills that I was anticipating. I can pay it, but still, this sucks.

And then I read an article about the increase in employers using TFWs, including for admin jobs. And I was like "Why the hell would you need to hire a TFW for an admin job", because that sort of position should be very easy to fill (with certain exceptions - I can see it being more difficult for things like, remote sites with FIFO positions). But then I read on, and it clarified that a lot of employers like TFWs because of ~stability~. But by "stability", what they actually mean is that the worker's position in Canada is tied to their employment by that particular company. If the employer treats them badly, or even if the worker just doesn't like that particular job or doesn't get along with their coworkers, they can't quit, because it would mean losing their visa. Obviously this isn't the situation with Canadian citizens - a lot of us do stay in positions even if it's not going great because jobsearching sucks and it can be hard to find something better, but if it's going horribly you can quit. Or you can jobsearch while employed and then leave for something else. Someone who's here on a work visa can't do that.

So it's an absolute crap situation. Because like, some employers who use TFWs are OK, and I can see that there would be some positions that are legitimately hard to fill locally. It depends on the industry - I remember my previous workplace preferred to hire Canadians, but during the busy season we'd fill some positions with TFWs because the sheer amount of skilled tradesmen we needed could not be found locally. But I would not be surprised if there are a lot of companies out there that are opting to employ TFWs because they're easier to exploit.

Plus there are a lot of positions where it's like - you know, maybe more Canadians would be willing to work for you if you paid better. I'm thinking mainly of stuff like grocery stores and whatnot; I liked working at Extra Foods, but they don't pay a decent wage and they don't give health/dental benefits. (But, ugh, the way things are going, I might end up having to go back to them for a while....)

...Anyway. This sucks. Everything sucks. I haven't done any jobsearching today and the thought of doing it makes me feel really deflated. Finding something is hard enough, and the thought that it might be even harder because employers are making shitty decisions is just making this worse. I'm just so sick of this.

Ugh, I'm feeling really discouraged today, and it isn't even 10 AM. Really not a good way to start the day off! Ugh.

+ Survived another formal family dinner. With luck I won't have to deal with another one of these for... a while. (Ugh, spare me. :V)

+ My overtime request for this weekend was denied, so I'm not working this weekend. Taking bets on how many hundreds of emails I'll have in my inbox come Monday. :V

+ (You know what. I don't have to work tomorrow. So I am gonna SLEEP, gonna totally set my alarm for 8AM and have a self-indulgent sleep-in, HELL YEAH.)

+ My buddy Scout drew me some Hetalia Ro/Bul and it is gorgeous. Seriously, I keep going back and staring at this picture, like... at this point I should just slap it on my desktop wallpaper, hah. (They currently have commission slots open, check here for details - really lovely person to work with, and I find their prices are super reasonable.)

+ I find it kind of funny how RO/BG has gone from "Oh, that pairing's kind of cute" to "Definitely in my current top ten, at least". It's amazing what a big dose of canon shipbait can do. (Plus, writing them made me like them more... so here we are.)

+ Speaking of writing, if I don't finish this draft I'm currently working on, I might as well blast myself off to Mars and let that be the end of it. Due dates are coming up far too soon, aaaagh. (Will try to get something done this weekend... With luck.)