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Sometimes, I miss my ex.

I was thinking about how I visited his place that one summer. We played poker together for pennies. It was fun.

We used to play go together, too. Through the internet. At least I think we did - my memory is admittedly a little fuzzy.

Lately I've found myself wish I had somebody to play cards with me. Something low-key and relaxed, not serious. I don't actually know how to play any games - including poker, which I was never good at and don't remember how to play any more - but learning on the go isn't a problem as long as you're with someone easygoing who wants to play for fun.

I guess it's not him that I miss, exactly - it's having a friend who enjoys many of the same things that I do, who likes to try out things even if they don't turn out exactly right.

I don't know anybody like that.

Man. It would be really nice if my coworkers would stop telling me, "YOU NEED TO GET A SIGNIFICANT OTHER".

I don't have any need for one. I don't even want one. Nor do I even have time for that shit. (Seriously, between work, family responsibilities, housework, and writing, I have very little free time. Seriously.) ... Not to mention that the last thing I would want to have to do when I'm not at work is talk to somebody. No, thank you.

I'm sure they mean well, but it's annoying as fuck. Goddamn. щ(◉Д◉щ)

This weekend was, uh, special. Basically I was having a Very Bad Time and didn't manage to get all my homework done. Fortunately, we get a free extension for our medieval essay. Only one. But it's good. When I went to class today, I found out I wasn't the only one who had to call it in; two of the other people did as well (... there are only four people in this class). Furthermore, for the Film class, there is one assignment I hadn't done - but it seems like most other people haven't done it yet either. So I... I don't feel as badly as I did. Other people are, if not in the same boat, at least having similar problems getting everything done.

Today was partly a day to regroup and figure things out. I managed to clean up most of the house, you know, make it so that this place isn't a dumb. Hard to concentrate on work when your house is in disarray. And I managed to get up the energy to cook myself a proper supper - I'd been living on pasta and eggs for about a week; not good. Honey mustard chicken + vegetables + bread with butter was a nice change.

I love the honey mustard sauce I make. Don't know how it would be for anything other than cooking, mind, but it goes pretty well with chicken. I know some people buy it or whatever, but it just isn't the same. 1 tsp oil + 1 tsp dijon mustard + 1 tsp white honey; mix it all up and brush it on with a pastry brush. Use 1 tbsp rather than tsp if doing more than two chicken breasts. Anyway, it turns out pretty good, that.

In any case, things are better now. I still need to clean up the living room a bit, but maybe I'll do that in the morning. It's mostly a matter of tidying things up. Getting some stuff out of the way helped. See, for the past month or so I'd had a bag in my living room with stuff to go to the dump 'n run box at school. Clothes that don't fit me or that I just don't like any more, but also - and more importantly - things my ex gave me. I kept adding to the bag when I found more things. So anyway, I took it down today, and it's gone. It feels really, really good, not having that stuff there; having that much less stuff that he gave me in this house. Unfortunately there's still a ton that I need to get rid of. Long relationships will do that. But I'm working on it, slowly. Part of the problem is that sometimes, you know, he'd actually give me good things. There's this one blanket I have, nice little thing, really warm. But he gave it to me, and soon I'm going to get rid of it. It's just hard to part with it, because it's functional.

And then there's the ponies. I really, really do not know what to do with the ponies he gave me. He's given me some g1s in the past, and while I've found myself rather attached to them, it wouldn't be a huge deal to sell them or trade them or give them away. They're all relatively common so it wouldn't be hard to pick up some others in similar or better condition. And with regular g3s it'd be no big deal; I'd have no issue selling those, or giving them away, or putting them in a charitybox. But some of the ones I have from him are actually pretty good. I have the 2007 and 2008 Comic Con ponies, also Twinkle Hope, also two of the 'Art Ponies' (Orange and black w/stars, blue and white w/fish). I'm not sure what to do here. I've been out of the collectors loop for a while, so I'm not sure of resale value at the moment (though checking wouldn't take much effort - I just can't be assed at the moment). I just feel like, mannnn, it's cool having these in my collection. On the other hand, I want to get rid of everything he gave me.

Sigh. Life is complicated. Relationships are complicated too. Drives me nuts. That's it! I'm ready to say "ARGH I WILL NEVER GET INVOLVED WITH ANYONE EVER AGAIN". I'll probably feel more inclined toward it eventually, but right now I'm just all, ":| Too much trouble".