This entry contains fail and ponies

This weekend was, uh, special. Basically I was having a Very Bad Time and didn't manage to get all my homework done. Fortunately, we get a free extension for our medieval essay. Only one. But it's good. When I went to class today, I found out I wasn't the only one who had to call it in; two of the other people did as well (... there are only four people in this class). Furthermore, for the Film class, there is one assignment I hadn't done - but it seems like most other people haven't done it yet either. So I... I don't feel as badly as I did. Other people are, if not in the same boat, at least having similar problems getting everything done.

Today was partly a day to regroup and figure things out. I managed to clean up most of the house, you know, make it so that this place isn't a dumb. Hard to concentrate on work when your house is in disarray. And I managed to get up the energy to cook myself a proper supper - I'd been living on pasta and eggs for about a week; not good. Honey mustard chicken + vegetables + bread with butter was a nice change.

I love the honey mustard sauce I make. Don't know how it would be for anything other than cooking, mind, but it goes pretty well with chicken. I know some people buy it or whatever, but it just isn't the same. 1 tsp oil + 1 tsp dijon mustard + 1 tsp white honey; mix it all up and brush it on with a pastry brush. Use 1 tbsp rather than tsp if doing more than two chicken breasts. Anyway, it turns out pretty good, that.

In any case, things are better now. I still need to clean up the living room a bit, but maybe I'll do that in the morning. It's mostly a matter of tidying things up. Getting some stuff out of the way helped. See, for the past month or so I'd had a bag in my living room with stuff to go to the dump 'n run box at school. Clothes that don't fit me or that I just don't like any more, but also - and more importantly - things my ex gave me. I kept adding to the bag when I found more things. So anyway, I took it down today, and it's gone. It feels really, really good, not having that stuff there; having that much less stuff that he gave me in this house. Unfortunately there's still a ton that I need to get rid of. Long relationships will do that. But I'm working on it, slowly. Part of the problem is that sometimes, you know, he'd actually give me good things. There's this one blanket I have, nice little thing, really warm. But he gave it to me, and soon I'm going to get rid of it. It's just hard to part with it, because it's functional.

And then there's the ponies. I really, really do not know what to do with the ponies he gave me. He's given me some g1s in the past, and while I've found myself rather attached to them, it wouldn't be a huge deal to sell them or trade them or give them away. They're all relatively common so it wouldn't be hard to pick up some others in similar or better condition. And with regular g3s it'd be no big deal; I'd have no issue selling those, or giving them away, or putting them in a charitybox. But some of the ones I have from him are actually pretty good. I have the 2007 and 2008 Comic Con ponies, also Twinkle Hope, also two of the 'Art Ponies' (Orange and black w/stars, blue and white w/fish). I'm not sure what to do here. I've been out of the collectors loop for a while, so I'm not sure of resale value at the moment (though checking wouldn't take much effort - I just can't be assed at the moment). I just feel like, mannnn, it's cool having these in my collection. On the other hand, I want to get rid of everything he gave me.

Sigh. Life is complicated. Relationships are complicated too. Drives me nuts. That's it! I'm ready to say "ARGH I WILL NEVER GET INVOLVED WITH ANYONE EVER AGAIN". I'll probably feel more inclined toward it eventually, but right now I'm just all, ":| Too much trouble".

Fragrant nights of straw and bonfires

Site of the Battle of Bosworth Discovered.

I'm really digging this song right now, so I thought I'd share it: Loreena McKennitt - All Souls Night. Man, I love this woman's stuff. I'm still kicking myself for missing the chance to see her perform live.

Today wasn't necessarily a good or bad one. It was just a day - and that's probably better than a bad day, really. I did get some homework done, so there is that. Spent much of the morning internally grumbling about how much some of my classmates annoy me, and how I wish they'd just shut up, but - well, let's not be negative.

I'm really stumped as to what to do for the 31st. I've been thinking on it, and I'm just not sure. I was originally planning to go to the English department Halloween party, but... now I'm really not sure. I mean, last year it was no big deal because Ole hosted it, and I knew Ole (sort of) because we were taking John Donne together. But I don't know the person hosting this one, probably wouldn't be able to pick them out of a crowd (nor do I actually know their name), so it just feels so awkward to me. Also, I need to check location... if it's too far out of the way, that lessens the chances I'll want to go. If I can't walk there, I won't want to, I mean. I probably won't know whether or not I'll actually go to this thing until like... the afternoon of the 31st, hah. I guess if I do decide not to go, then I'll mosey on down to the video rental store and get myself a horror movie or two.

I'm not sure what I'll be doing during the daytime. Some quiet contemplation, I guess, and a walk down by the river. While Samhain isn't my new year, I still think I should do something for it, especially since Equinox fell on a school day. So, I'm going to view the 31st as a refresher period. Wind down, then wind back up, pick up all the pieces from the fail earlier in the semester and plough on, doing my best to keep from falling under again.

Also need to start figuring out what I'll do for Solstice. Once again I'm not going to be able to celebrate it on the day; not properly celebrate it, anyway. I'm going to have to move my celebration date up, again. Sometime between school's end and when I leave to visit my parents. Can't play things out precisely the way I want when my parents are breathing down my neck. I don't even do anything really, but I really need my alone time for this. That's important. And the food is important too. I just... Ugh. I remember one time, a long time ago, gods know how old I was but it was sometime in high school. I was really upset about something. So I went to my room and I got out my rocks and the herbs I had at the time and just sat there for a bit silently praying, because I did tat sort of thing back then. And mum caught me at it, and just - the things she said made me feel so horrible. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong but the things she said made me feel like I had. Even though I hadn't. I knew better, I knew I hadn't. Ugh, no way, won't let anything like that happen again. So, I won't celebrate Solstice on the Solstice.