(no subject)

[yuuago]

Went to another physio appointment today.

It was the same guy that I spoke to at my first appointment. We had a talk - I asked when I'll be able to start exercise again. He said there'll be another physio appointment next week, and then two weeks after that I'll have another where he'll assess my progress.

Now, that doesn't mean I'll be able to start judo again, even if his assessment is good. Walking and regular exercise, probably. Judo... I don't know. We'll see. Maybe not until January.

I'm going to keep diligently doing the exercises he's assigned me. It's something, at least. Even if I'd rather do other things.

I've been backdating most of the entries about this because ugh, I don't want to talk about it. At least not with most people. I don't mind discussing it with my mom, because she knows a little about sports injuries. And I could talk about it with, like, Tik. Because I was with him when the injury was really bad, so he at least knows a little about what I'm dealing with. (Though funnily enough, I had more problems with my back hurting from wearing that heavy backpack around the airport. Like, yeah, my foot hurt, but the back pain was excruciating for a few days there. I've had that problem before; should have known better.) But overall this whole subject makes me feel whiny and annoying, especially because there's no quick and simple fix for it.

Mom was like, "Okay, let's say you go to the doctor and he orders X-rays. Then what?" Well, I'll be ordered to take it easy, that's what. And that's all you can do about this particular injury. There are a ton of tiny bones in the feet/ankle area, and in a lot of cases, if you damage something - there's not much to do except, well, don't aggravate it.

But ughhhhhh!!!

I keep being unsure about whether I should go to class just to watch and take pictures. It feels awkward while I'm there. It could just me being self-conscious though. But Sensei is always like - it feels like he really wants me to come back. And I don't have the social skills to figure out whether the stuff he's saying is wishful thinking, or not knowing the extent of what's going on with me, or downplaying the problem ("just work through it"), or what. And it just sucks because I want to be back on the mat but I can't. So maybe I should just stay away totally until the physiotherapist says it's okay, because otherwise I'll be like... too tempted to go.

(Face in hands, time for exasperated noises.)

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I know you said you don't want to talk about it with most people, but my partner is a physical therapist (by training, even though he doesn't work in the field atm) and is pretty nerdy about sports and the human body in general. I have recurring back pain due to bad posture which occasionally gets disablingly severe and he showed me exercises that help me improve and manage it to the point where now I confidently challenge myself at the gym again. Obviously not all situations are the same but he's happy to give advice to whoever wants it so hmu on tumblr if this sounds like something that might help. It's no trouble at all.
-Scout

[yuuago]

Funnily enough, you're one of the other people that I theoretically, possibly wouldn't mind talking about this shit with (Maybe it's because you're so level-headed, I dunno).

Anyway, thanks for the offer. I'll think about it. <3

[(Anonymous)]

Aw, I'm glad to hear that :) Thank you for considering it!
-Scout

[tikula]

I'm so sorry you're struggling with it :( Now I kinda regret not insisting we walked a little slower or less maybe, even, idk - though you said it didn't bother you, so hopefully it didn't make it worse.

Re: classes, I think the only thing you can do really is firmly say that your doctor didn't allow you exercise at the moment (ugh, assertiveness), but I do so get the awkwardness of not knowing what the other person is thinking about that.

*kisses for your face in your hands*

[yuuago]

Oh, darling, don't worry about it. Knowing me, I probably would have just brushed it off, anyway (unless you'd been sneaky about it and said you were insisting because you were tired or such). I did this to myself, so it's all my own fault. ;p I just need to follow the physiotherapist's instructions and... whatever will be, will be.

For classes, I think I'll just... play it by ear. Go if I really feel like going. And there's an upcoming board meeting that members are invited to, so I will be going to that. It's just so awkward. Especially since I want to be doing things! So it's exasperating to have to say no. Oh, well.

(Hugs, hugs, and more hugs.)