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yuuagoMy mother had another heart attack today.
That makes the second one in about two years. And the second time she has been in the hospital this month.
She was starting to feel better, her hip was healing on schedule, she's been able to get around a bit more. Been helping us with the cooking, since she likes to do that (and since she's been bored as hell). But then this happened.
At this point I just want to scream, something about how I don't know which god I pissed off, but something something, make amends. 'Cept I know that's not rational, the gods wouldn't waste their time on my affairs; this is just plain old shitty luck. But it'd be nice to have someone to blame for it.
She'll probably be okay. I think. For a given definition of "okay". But it's too early to tell.
While I was on the bus today I kept thinking about all the laundry I'll have to do tomorrow, and how maybe I'd go down to the new Japanese place that opened up on this side of the river, because mum said yesterday that when she's feeling better and can walk and stuff, she'd take me out for lunch. I'd have to test this place first before suggesting it, because she's kind of a snob about things like that, and it wouldn't do to take her some place she doesn't like (because then she'd make comments about it). But then this happened.
I keep worrying that some day I'll come home and find out she's dead.
That makes the second one in about two years. And the second time she has been in the hospital this month.
She was starting to feel better, her hip was healing on schedule, she's been able to get around a bit more. Been helping us with the cooking, since she likes to do that (and since she's been bored as hell). But then this happened.
At this point I just want to scream, something about how I don't know which god I pissed off, but something something, make amends. 'Cept I know that's not rational, the gods wouldn't waste their time on my affairs; this is just plain old shitty luck. But it'd be nice to have someone to blame for it.
She'll probably be okay. I think. For a given definition of "okay". But it's too early to tell.
While I was on the bus today I kept thinking about all the laundry I'll have to do tomorrow, and how maybe I'd go down to the new Japanese place that opened up on this side of the river, because mum said yesterday that when she's feeling better and can walk and stuff, she'd take me out for lunch. I'd have to test this place first before suggesting it, because she's kind of a snob about things like that, and it wouldn't do to take her some place she doesn't like (because then she'd make comments about it). But then this happened.
I keep worrying that some day I'll come home and find out she's dead.
Yuu. Fic writer & book lover. M/Canada.![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2013-05-17 10:10 pm (UTC)/cuddles for five-ever
Sometimes I think the same things about my father and it's horrible. Like, you want them to live a great long healthy life and at the same time it's terrifying to think of what your life might be if they end up so subdued that you have to dedicate yourself to them.
And in the worst times you wonder how it would be with everything freed up and can't help but feel both horrible and - I'm not even sure what it is. Imagining a life without family is both breathtaking and a punch in the moral gut.
It's just the way the world turns, it seems, babe.
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Date: 2013-03-22 05:10 pm (UTC)/hugs and words
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Date: 2013-03-22 07:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-03-22 10:31 pm (UTC)