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yuuagoUrgh. No matter what I do, the anxiety monster is hanging over me. It makes it very hard to do my homework. But it'll get done, no question. Gods know, this is a very short essay (only ten pages) and I know I can handle it. It's just hard, sometimes.
Think maybe what I need is some fresh air. And motivation. But first fresh air. Gonna take a walk. A short one.
Motivation comes in two ways. Consequences, and rewards. Consequences: If I screw up, best-case is that I'll have to do homework over the break and stress myself the fuck out. Worst-case, I'll flunk, have to take more courses, and I won't get to go to Finland because I'll have to use my travel money for tuition. Reward: If I don't screw up, I'll be able to relax on my Christmas holiday, and I'll be able to get a stock job next semester because I will only be taking one class, and I'll still have my money to go to visit Minako.
So. There we have it. I'm probably going to end up flailing and gnashing teeth at around 2 AM. But that's fine. Such is life.
I just realized that I've managed to rip a hole in the sleeve of my favourite sweater. Argharghargh. I've had this sweater for years; I love it. It isn't especially awesome, just a worn-out grey pullover, but it's so comfortable. Damnit. It's coming apart at the cuffs, too. Well, I'll have to mend it when I have time, because there is no way in hell I'm tossing this sweater. Besides, I've always thought it would be kind of cool to have at least one item of clothing that was all patched up in places. Maybe it's the wannabe hobo in me, I dunno'.
Argh. Just seems nothing is going right lately. Brb, facedesking forever.
[edit 7:55 PM]
So, I'm sitting at the cafe, and there is a strange guy nearby talking about Jesus and God and Satan and... some stuff. He seems a little bit off his rocker. I always feel so odd when people talk about these entities as if they're right there. As if Satan might, you know, come up behind you and poke you. It's so odd.
He's talking to some other man, a friend I'm assuming. Handsome, that one. Longish wavy hair. Glasses. Looks like a professor, not a student. And he's just laughing at this guy. Talking to him, but not taking him seriously. I wish I was so easygoing.
Must admit, it's making things difficult to concentrate.
Essay status: 2/10. Sigh.
[9:13 PM]
3/10 Hurr. Moving slowly but steadily. Gettin' into the meat of it now. Sigh, I wish I could read MSS. And that I could understand Anglo-Norman French.
[1:16 AM]
FML.
Think maybe what I need is some fresh air. And motivation. But first fresh air. Gonna take a walk. A short one.
Motivation comes in two ways. Consequences, and rewards. Consequences: If I screw up, best-case is that I'll have to do homework over the break and stress myself the fuck out. Worst-case, I'll flunk, have to take more courses, and I won't get to go to Finland because I'll have to use my travel money for tuition. Reward: If I don't screw up, I'll be able to relax on my Christmas holiday, and I'll be able to get a stock job next semester because I will only be taking one class, and I'll still have my money to go to visit Minako.
So. There we have it. I'm probably going to end up flailing and gnashing teeth at around 2 AM. But that's fine. Such is life.
I just realized that I've managed to rip a hole in the sleeve of my favourite sweater. Argharghargh. I've had this sweater for years; I love it. It isn't especially awesome, just a worn-out grey pullover, but it's so comfortable. Damnit. It's coming apart at the cuffs, too. Well, I'll have to mend it when I have time, because there is no way in hell I'm tossing this sweater. Besides, I've always thought it would be kind of cool to have at least one item of clothing that was all patched up in places. Maybe it's the wannabe hobo in me, I dunno'.
Argh. Just seems nothing is going right lately. Brb, facedesking forever.
[edit 7:55 PM]
So, I'm sitting at the cafe, and there is a strange guy nearby talking about Jesus and God and Satan and... some stuff. He seems a little bit off his rocker. I always feel so odd when people talk about these entities as if they're right there. As if Satan might, you know, come up behind you and poke you. It's so odd.
He's talking to some other man, a friend I'm assuming. Handsome, that one. Longish wavy hair. Glasses. Looks like a professor, not a student. And he's just laughing at this guy. Talking to him, but not taking him seriously. I wish I was so easygoing.
Must admit, it's making things difficult to concentrate.
Essay status: 2/10. Sigh.
[9:13 PM]
3/10 Hurr. Moving slowly but steadily. Gettin' into the meat of it now. Sigh, I wish I could read MSS. And that I could understand Anglo-Norman French.
[1:16 AM]
FML.
Yuu. Fic writer & book lover. M/Canada.![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-12-01 12:16 am (UTC)Good luck, Yuu! Feel better soon!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-01 03:07 am (UTC)I SURE HOPE I WILL FEEL BETTER SOON 8D
no subject
Date: 2009-12-01 12:33 am (UTC)and I should stop nomming on paluszki already but it's so delicious and addictiveMy consequence if I fail is that I'll suddenly be saddled with a debt of about £50,000 hurrr
Hang in there, we can take a breather once it's the holidays, just gotta make it through til then.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-01 03:06 am (UTC)*clings to*
no subject
Date: 2009-12-01 03:00 am (UTC)Judging by this entry and some tweets your last 24 hours haven't been so good, I hope everything's better tomorrow :) (also lol I've never wanted to post italianspiderman.gif on the meme as much as today, it's a good thing I was even TOO late for that... but I think you prefer not to comment on the whole matter)
Yesss patched up clothing! ♥ Or more like, clothing that isn't even patched up! I have a pair of worn out (almost grunge) Converse and a pair of thights but I fear my mum will toss them if I don't toss them myself ;_;
no subject
Date: 2009-12-01 03:06 am (UTC)The last 24 hours have been fucking surreal, man. What is this I don't even etc etc etc. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. Sigh.
I've never really dressed the grunge look before, but I've always kind of wanted to. There's something liberating about scruffy old clothes that you don't really have to worry about getting dirty or worn-out. As long as they're clean, it's wonderful.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-01 03:20 am (UTC)Hmhmm, I don't care much about clothing styles but I've always liked well-worn clothes. And they're pretty convenient, yes! if someone tells you you dress like a hobo you can always be like "Hey shut up, this is my style! It's in now!! (if you pretend it's the 90s)"
Okay, I won't distract you anymore, go and finish the essay so you can be free like a bird again! <3
no subject
Date: 2009-12-01 07:28 pm (UTC)I've said this pretty many times, but good luck with your school. Or at least strenght.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-02 06:32 am (UTC)Even though you've said it more than once, it still means a lot. I really, really appreciate it. <3