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yuuago*[6:25 PM]
Well. Spent much of my day at the library. Not enough - I should have gone earlier - but I woke up late today so it took me a while to get my ass in gear. I didn't do as much as I thought, but I did get started. It turns out, the essay only has to be (minimum) 10 pages. I can do that, no problem. I can pound out 10 pages in a day if I really have to; I've done it before. I hope I won't have to, though. My intent is to get most of the research crammed in this evening, possibly an outline + intro paragraph written. Then tomorrow is going to be mostly writing, I think.
It was gorgeous out today. 5C. Excellent. I'm liking this turn of the weather. I guess the snow earlier in the month was just a fluke. Well, I'm fine with that. As long as it doesn't start snowing or raining for a while yet, I'm good.... Ugh. I had a lot that I wanted to say, but I'm so tired, I can't even think of what it might have been.
*[8:50 PM]
So, I headed down to the grocer's, because I needed some milk. They already have the egg nog out, can you believe it? Craziness. Though not gonna lie, I was tempted to get some. I fucking love egg nog.
*[11:05 PM]
I don't feel very well. It's the loneliness, the lack of human contact, that's what's dragging me down. I just feel so... Argh, I can't even find the words to describe how I feel. Or don't feel. It's a strange thing. You know, several days might pass when the only person I speak to is my mum, after supper, on the telephone. And then a sentence or two to the cafe boy if I go across the street for coffee after that - and some days, I don't even go for coffee. But when I do, I go there, I get my coffee, and I sit at my usual table, and there are all these people around me, but still....
Goddamn. This much time alone is enough to drive a person to melancholia.
Well. Spent much of my day at the library. Not enough - I should have gone earlier - but I woke up late today so it took me a while to get my ass in gear. I didn't do as much as I thought, but I did get started. It turns out, the essay only has to be (minimum) 10 pages. I can do that, no problem. I can pound out 10 pages in a day if I really have to; I've done it before. I hope I won't have to, though. My intent is to get most of the research crammed in this evening, possibly an outline + intro paragraph written. Then tomorrow is going to be mostly writing, I think.
It was gorgeous out today. 5C. Excellent. I'm liking this turn of the weather. I guess the snow earlier in the month was just a fluke. Well, I'm fine with that. As long as it doesn't start snowing or raining for a while yet, I'm good.... Ugh. I had a lot that I wanted to say, but I'm so tired, I can't even think of what it might have been.
*[8:50 PM]
So, I headed down to the grocer's, because I needed some milk. They already have the egg nog out, can you believe it? Craziness. Though not gonna lie, I was tempted to get some. I fucking love egg nog.
*[11:05 PM]
I don't feel very well. It's the loneliness, the lack of human contact, that's what's dragging me down. I just feel so... Argh, I can't even find the words to describe how I feel. Or don't feel. It's a strange thing. You know, several days might pass when the only person I speak to is my mum, after supper, on the telephone. And then a sentence or two to the cafe boy if I go across the street for coffee after that - and some days, I don't even go for coffee. But when I do, I go there, I get my coffee, and I sit at my usual table, and there are all these people around me, but still....
Goddamn. This much time alone is enough to drive a person to melancholia.
Yuu. Fic writer & book lover. M/Canada.![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-10-25 03:48 pm (UTC)The key word being "absolute". Music sometimes is as good as reading to that end. Styron would agree, melancholia is a better term for it than what's in common use these days.
I've been better recently because I try to schedule meeting with either a friend or family once a week just to get me out of the house and act a little social to get out of my head. I probably won't be able to manage that when writing my finals soon. Oh well. School's school.
This video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wq_jEnvTBMo) has brighten up what will be a day of boring reading. I want a bird so badly, but there's no pets aloud in my apartment. ಥ﹏ಥno subject
Date: 2009-10-26 06:32 am (UTC)I should try to go out and meet with people, but like... I'm not close enough to the people I have class with to go and do that. It'd be so awkward, and I'd be so uncomfortable. They usually go out for beer after film class, just as a group, and I could tag along, but... I get uncomfortable in pubs, too. *facedesk* Ugh, well, at least I'll get some social time in when we have the department Halloween party, but now I don't even know if I'll be able to go, because I have so much homework.
Argh.
no subject
Date: 2009-10-25 07:46 pm (UTC)asdfosdafi Love egg nog, you say? *ponders* I will have to see what I can do about getting these fancy egg nog scones to you then!
This much time alone is enough to drive a person to melancholia.
That will really do it. Talking to people online helps when I'm lonely sometimes, but nothing ever beats just getting out of the house and hanging out with someone in person even if only for a short time. Difficulty is that "for a short time" can still be hard to manage during the school year. =\ I see my friends from time to time, but I've found on occasion that it's my random interactions and conversations with strangers that help me feel connected and un-lonely. There's a brief connection but no strings attached to fret about later. Branching out and talking to others in the first place is hard for me, but there it is. Just have to try sometimes!
Hang in there! The semester will be over soon enough and you have something to look forward to!
no subject
Date: 2009-10-26 03:35 am (UTC)I hope that you are able to make some closer friends to interact with and feel less lonely!