Another? I know, I know.

[yuuago]

Well. I was going to do the laundering tonight, but that plan didn't play out. When I went down I found that the machines were going, and I wasn't about to wait around until 10:30 just to get my laundry done, let me tell you. However, I did happen to notice that there was no water on the floor, which means they finally (after what, six months?) went and hooked it up properly again. This is good! And the walls were freshly-painted, which explains why the entire building smells like paint. I suppose what I'll do is get up a bit early and go down there tomorrow to get my stuff done.


Also, I'm very unhappy right now, for a variety of reasons. Furthermore, after taking a close look at the current state of affairs, I've determined that I'm still not at 100%, in terms of, er, mental health. I would say that at this point I am running at 70% on a good day, but I've had several not-so-good days in the last few weeks.

It's hard. It really is. I'm doing my best, but I keep feeling like I'm drowning.



I was speaking with Noon earlier today. One subject led to another, and eventually we ended up on the subject of Doing It Wrong - with regards to fic, I mean. And the worry about doing it wrong in any aspect of writing is something that greatly concerns me, all the time. We talked about it, and we have similar issues - it seems like no matter how much we read, we still don't feel like we can get it right.

On the other hand, I still find that I need to get things in a specific time and place and situation. This is an urge that I can't ignore. It's when the fear of doing it wrong overrides this, I think, that I run into trouble. I'm fairly certain that's the reason why I didn't finish a particular Poland story I was working on ages ago. Speaking more recently, it's probably the reason why I've been floundering with the Union story.

It's as if, subconsciously, I've been getting so caught up in the "what happened" that I forget that, fundamentally, what I'm writing is a romance. So what I need to do is get back on that track, sigh. Means finding the tread of the narrative again. Well, shouldn't be too difficult.

Really, I haven't been in any mood to write at all recently. I feel so blah about it. Part of me wants to shake this feeling; part of me doesn't care so much. I'll get back into the groove eventually. Part of me wishes that it will hold off until second semester, because then I'll be taking fewer classes, and I might be more able to write.

I think maybe I just need a break from everything right now. Or maybe not.

Comments

[pentatonikk.livejournal.com]

Oh, you and your laundry. Ugh, I was an idiot and didn't do all my laundry over break, so now I need to wrestle with the school machines again. NOT AMUSED.

And oh god, I totally get you on Doing It Wrong. It's immensely satisfying when I read something new and it matches what I have down already, but more often I end up buried in information without being able to fit it together in any kind of narrative. I think I lose sight of the fact that history isn't enough, there has to be a story. Writing a story with a million footnotes may make me feel smart, but if a reader can't understand the plot without them, then I've failed as a writer. (This is one of my main gripes with a lot of fic for this fandom--footnotes supplement information, they don't replace it. If you rely on footnotes to do your worldbuilding for you, you are Doing It Wrong.)

But yeah, part of the great thing about writing and reading Hetalia is that everything has a time and place and anything you write will inevitably be influenced by that. I just wish I could write less about time and place and more about characters, because they're quite a lot of times and even if they are places that's not all they are.

tl;dr: This so, so much. And I hope you get your writing mojo back!

[yuuago]

Yes, me and my laundry. SIGH.

I'm glad someone else understands, too. It sucks when you aren't able to draw a narrative out of what you have. Or, sometimes you can grab an idea, but the story itself is rather thin without the historical backing. I'm not sure if that's quite the problem I have now, but some days it seems like it....

I feel you on the footnote thing. It's all well and good, but the story should really be able to stand on its own without footnotes, I think. One should be able to thread the background narrative through the story itself, illustrating it without needing to say, straight-up, in a footnote "This is what is going on here". One should be able to see it, because the writer is showing it. At least, that's the way I feel the best stories are done, and that is what I try to do with my own stuff.

I find that getting a good balance between time/place and character is very difficult. But it's so excellent when it turns out well.

[pentatonikk.livejournal.com]

There's a narrative there, I'm sure--English papers have taught me there's a narrative in everything, if you bullshit it right. It sucks, though, when you can't find it or don't know what it is.

Mm, I think I see history as integral in Hetalia fic, since the characters themselves are history, kind of. It shapes the way they behave, certainly, and you can't really avoid it. Maybe that's the problem you're having, where it feels thin without the history? I don't think you can go without history, I guess, because I don't see what you'd have left.

In some ways it takes more knowledge of history to take it and turn it into a narrative than it does to spit out a bunch of links, even when it's clear in both cases that you've done your research. My favorite fic tends to be lightly-footnoted, even though some of it is about things I don't know much about. There's something about excessive footnotes that just kind of...kills the focus of the story, which should be on the characters and how they see the history. Your Baltic Way fic comes to mind as Doing It Right--it's very much event-driven but the characters are what really come across and yes. (I can't even analyze this properly, which is probably why I can't do it either, orz.)

But aaaah yes, it's so, so good when someone gets it right. ♥

[yuuago]

(Tangentially related: I think maybe I should stop trying to sound intellectual at 2 AM. It just never comes out right.)

Speaking of this one that I'm having issues with in particular, the main problem (I think) is that I'm having trouble finding the medium between too much history and too little. At first I went way too much into the history side, and that caused the actual story of the two people involved to be underdeveloped. So I need to concentrate on that now, too. Sure, this story's about what happened on a larger scale - but it's also about what is going on between two people, and so I need to develop that, to make the whole thing believable. I've been neglecting that, I think. But I need to work on it more in order to get back on track.

I think the main issue I have with footnotes is that I find they either 1. cause the narrative to be interrupted, or 2. Provide new information to the reader at the end, when it really would be more beneficial to know the information straight-out. In some cases it just can't be avoided, though. (And I'm very glad that you think that particular fic is an example of 'Doing It Right' - it's one of the few things I've written in recent months that I'm actually satisfied with)