(no subject)

[yuuago]

I was feeling really cranky so I made some icons.

There's something kind of soothing about it. I don't even use or share most of the ones that I make. And I'm definitely not as good at it as some people. But it's fun. Kind of like scrapbooking or collage.

For some reason I'm weirdly fixated on that scene in Conclave where Benitez and Lawrence are having a conversation, and Benitez is getting ready, tying his shoes. I have no idea why I like that scene so much. Maybe I should pay more attention to it on rewatch, if I do a rewatch.

I think another reason I like making icons is because it gives me a way to do a Creative Fandom Thing without thinking about it too much. Or like, I do have to think about it - I have to make choices, and then make adjustments, but it doesn't take the same kind of mental energy that writing does. It's very different. Uses different parts of the brain.

It's also very solitary, which can be good when I'm feeling lonely. Like, if I'm lonely and try to seek out a more social type of fandom participation, it usually doesn't work very well. I don't have a lot of social connections, there usually isn't anyone I can talk to. But iconing is a fandom activity that is inherently done by yourself; it's not really something that involves interacting with other people. So I'm still alone, but I'm distracted by Doing A Thing, and I don't feel quite as sad about it.