(no subject)
Mar. 12th, 2022 01:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yuuagoI've been spending a lot of time on things that I don't strictly need to do. Keeping myself busy. Maybe a little too busy - between work, and all the additional tasks I'm putting into myself, I feel kind of like I'm running myself into the ground.
But. I sat down today for ten minutes, just to relax and do nothing much, and I think I realized why I've been doing this. And it's not new information, it's just... re-realizing it.
Even in just those ten minutes, I was barraged by so many intrusive thoughts. And general... ruminating on current events and how horrible and evil people are. And miscellaneous depressing things.
When I spend too much time inside my own head, things get bad. And now it's so obvious - my subconscious knew what to do, that I had to keep busy in order to keep that stuff out. It's just that I didn't realize I was doing it.
...Anyway. Time to start on another task, so I can get my brain out of this state, at least temporarily. It isn't as if I don't have anything that needs to be done, anyway.
But. I sat down today for ten minutes, just to relax and do nothing much, and I think I realized why I've been doing this. And it's not new information, it's just... re-realizing it.
Even in just those ten minutes, I was barraged by so many intrusive thoughts. And general... ruminating on current events and how horrible and evil people are. And miscellaneous depressing things.
When I spend too much time inside my own head, things get bad. And now it's so obvious - my subconscious knew what to do, that I had to keep busy in order to keep that stuff out. It's just that I didn't realize I was doing it.
...Anyway. Time to start on another task, so I can get my brain out of this state, at least temporarily. It isn't as if I don't have anything that needs to be done, anyway.
Yuu. Fic writer & book lover. M/Canada.
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Date: 2022-03-12 10:16 pm (UTC)Mélusine
no subject
Date: 2022-03-13 03:21 am (UTC)[/hug!]
It's nice to hear from you.