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May. 19th, 2021 09:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yuuagoUgh, I hate when people comment on how much weight I've lost.
Nobody gives a shit about how many push-ups I can do, or how far I can walk in an hour, or how fast I can run up the four flights of stairs in my building. All they care about is what size I wear.
This shit just fucks with my disordered eating and my suicidal ideation, but of course you can't ~say~ that, because they were ~only being nice~ and I should be ~proud of myself~.
It's like the only thing that matters is how I look. And it's been this way ever since I was a kid, which is one of the reasons why I have such a fucked up relationship with fitness, food, and the general concept of having a physical body.
I really wish people would just shut the fuck up about things that aren't any of their business.
...Anyway. On a positive note. I'm actually pretty pleased with the endurance I've been building up; the body weight exercises have been a relatively minor part of my routine, but they're working. Had to cut down on them for a few weeks because I wasn't feeling well, but overall this experiment has been effective, so I'm continuing with it.
I remember the summers when I worked at a grocery store, and all the hauling boxes that I did. At the end of the day I'd be pretty tired, but overall I felt so strong! I want to get back to that.
Nobody gives a shit about how many push-ups I can do, or how far I can walk in an hour, or how fast I can run up the four flights of stairs in my building. All they care about is what size I wear.
This shit just fucks with my disordered eating and my suicidal ideation, but of course you can't ~say~ that, because they were ~only being nice~ and I should be ~proud of myself~.
It's like the only thing that matters is how I look. And it's been this way ever since I was a kid, which is one of the reasons why I have such a fucked up relationship with fitness, food, and the general concept of having a physical body.
I really wish people would just shut the fuck up about things that aren't any of their business.
...Anyway. On a positive note. I'm actually pretty pleased with the endurance I've been building up; the body weight exercises have been a relatively minor part of my routine, but they're working. Had to cut down on them for a few weeks because I wasn't feeling well, but overall this experiment has been effective, so I'm continuing with it.
I remember the summers when I worked at a grocery store, and all the hauling boxes that I did. At the end of the day I'd be pretty tired, but overall I felt so strong! I want to get back to that.
Yuu. Fic writer & book lover. M/Canada.