People are complicated

[yuuago]

Sometimes I feel like people's idea of base-level politeness is very different from mine.

I remember once that I was talking to somebody in a public space, and they were shocked by how friendly and polite I was being, considering we were Not Friends. But... it was the same level of friendly and polite that I would be with a co-worker. It didn't indicate any particularly warm feelings. I was just takling to them in a friendly way because there was no reason not to.

Sometimes I think about that, and I feel really weird about it.

And there have also been times when people have somehow managed to get the impression that we're Best Buds just because I was friendly to them and replied to some of the things they said. Like... no, that isn't how this works. I'm not your pal just because I made idle conversation with you in the fandom equivalent of a cocktail party. And it certainly doesn't mean you can dump your deep personal problems on me. You're practically a stranger!

Lately, I've been thinking about some decisions I've made in the past with regard to people. In some cases, it was people I didn't like much, and I wonder how I could have handled it better. And in other cases, it was people who I was friendly with, but they were kind of pushy and didn't seem to have the same boundaries that I did, and they thought we were way better friends than we actually were (I barely knew these people) and nothing bad happened there but I probably should have been more firm about where I was coming from.

Maybe the next time something like this happens, I'll be better equipped to respond.