(no subject)
Dec. 29th, 2018 04:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yuuagoI've been dealing with a whole lot of casual suicidal ideation lately. It's a real pain in the ass.
Have pinpointed two possibilities of causes:
-Lack of sunlight
-Bombarded with things that typically aggravate my already-existing depression/suicidal ideation tendencies
It's probably a bit of both.
There isn't much that I can do about the sunlight thing, because I don't see daylight on work days, and it's been too cold to go outside on weekends (lower than -30C). Though, fuck, maybe I should try anyway, even if it's cold. I'm already taking sunshine pills.
As for the other thing... Well. Partly it's due to the time of year, partly it's due to climate stuff, partly it's due to political garbage. All of it's a mess, and pretty much out of my control.
Current plan of action: exercise more, get out into sunlight on weekends if possible even when it's cold, and curate my internet experience and real-life media/conversations even more aggressively than before.
Fucking hell. Luckily I don't feel sad; I just kind of casually don't want to exist. Which is annoying as hell, but more or less manageable. But it sure does have the side-effect of leaving me very ill-tempered. I don't want to be pissed off all the time! Argh, gotta' see what I can do about this....
Have pinpointed two possibilities of causes:
-Lack of sunlight
-Bombarded with things that typically aggravate my already-existing depression/suicidal ideation tendencies
It's probably a bit of both.
There isn't much that I can do about the sunlight thing, because I don't see daylight on work days, and it's been too cold to go outside on weekends (lower than -30C). Though, fuck, maybe I should try anyway, even if it's cold. I'm already taking sunshine pills.
As for the other thing... Well. Partly it's due to the time of year, partly it's due to climate stuff, partly it's due to political garbage. All of it's a mess, and pretty much out of my control.
Current plan of action: exercise more, get out into sunlight on weekends if possible even when it's cold, and curate my internet experience and real-life media/conversations even more aggressively than before.
Fucking hell. Luckily I don't feel sad; I just kind of casually don't want to exist. Which is annoying as hell, but more or less manageable. But it sure does have the side-effect of leaving me very ill-tempered. I don't want to be pissed off all the time! Argh, gotta' see what I can do about this....
Yuu. Fic writer & book lover. M/Canada.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-30 01:51 pm (UTC)Bit from my own perspective, but hope it gives some soothing sympathy; Politics and climate stuff is depressing as hell and it's such a helpless feeling too. Just feels unreasonable and frankly pointless to have to even worry about that stuff, when it's literally something that I'm not actively a part of. Yet it's constantly on the brain and unsolicitedly affects things.
Hope the exercise helps, keep chopping on that Sunny D, and best hopes for those feelings to alleviate.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-30 04:24 pm (UTC)I live in a pretty conservative part of the country, so it makes things extra-tricky... it's like I'm CONSTANTLY REMINDED that there are people around me who object to my very existence. Fun. Fuck those people, ugh.
Anyway. I'll just... keep on keeping on, I guess. :V