Hauge in translation
Aug. 9th, 2018 08:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yuuagoI've been having fun flipping through various translations of Hauge's work. I like putting them next to each other and looking at the differences.
A couple years back, Luminous Spaces was published – a new collection of Hauge's poetry and selections from his journals, all translated by Olav Grinde. I haven't actually had a chance to read all of it properly yet, but for the fun of flipping through, it's very good – and there are quite a few in it that I haven't seen before. Overall, I find that his work has a very light, effortless feel to it, and it's really nice to view the poems that I do know from an entirely different perspective.
One of my other volumes of Hauge's work is The Dream We Carry, translated by Bly & Hedin. It's parallel text, and I really appreciate that – because while Hauge's work is good in translation, it's also fun to look at the translation, then look at the original, and see the path taken to the English version. Of course, sometimes it's very difficult, because I don't read Norwegian very well, and Hauge's work is so dialect-y, but... with some of his works, it's easier than others.
And then the other volume that I have is Robin Hedin's translation, Leaf-huts and Snow-houses, which I've had for quite a while, but haven't read as extensively as Dream We Carry, because it doesn't have the parallel translation. (But then again, the lack of parallel text gives more room for more poems, which isn't a bad thing at all.)
I recall that one time, I was talking with a Norwegian fan of Hauge's work, and they said that they didn't like Bly's translations very much. I can't remember exactly why, though. Something about... getting the voice all wrong, or something like that. I wonder what they would think of Grinde's English translations.
Here is one of my favourites of Hauge's work in four different versions.
Olav H. Hauge's original:
Midvinter. Snø.
Eg gjev fuglane ei brødskorpe.
Og søv ikke ringare for det.
Robert Bly's translation from The Dream We Carry:
Midwinter. Snow.
I gave the birds a piece of bread.
And it didn't affect my sleep.
Robin Hedin's translation from Leaf-huts and Snow-houses:
Midwinter. Snow.
I gave the birds a crust.
And sleep no worse for that.
Olav Grinde's translation from Luminous Spaces:
Midwinter. Snow.
I throw out bread crusts for the birds.
And I lose no sleep over that.
This is one of the few of Hauge's works that I can read in Norwegian without difficulty. The only word that gave me trouble was the nynorsk ringare, which is forverret in bokmål. (It's much easier to look these things up now that I've bothered to bookmark a nynorsk – bokmål ordbok, let me tell you.)
There are bits and pieces that I like about each of these translations. Of the second line, I like how vivid the image is in Grinde's translation, though I prefer to flow of Bly's translation. In the third line, I think I like the way Hedin translated it the best, with Grinde a close second. If it were an original poem, though, I think I would like Bly's best, for the way it parses when spoken. But the feeling in Grinde's is very good.
If I were to translate it myself, it'd be a mix of all of them, I guess... Something like this:
Midwinter. Snow.
I give the birds a bread crust
and sleep no worse for that.
...And yes, I stripped some of the punctuation and capitals, which might be taking a bit too much liberty with it. But the capitalization and punctuation in lines two and three frankly annoys me quite a bit – it's the only thing I dislike about this poem. So. Into the bin it goes. (It's a good thing I only do this for my own entertainment.)
I'm actually kind of stuck on how I would translate "brødskorpe" if I were actually doing this seriously. Because calling it a bread crust, or just "a crust", is a totally legitimate decision, but it's not really a phrasing that feels natural to my dialect – it exists, but it parses as old-fashioned. You'd see it in old books; it's not a phrase someone in my real-life would use. Though it feels odd to say that, because the way I wrote the third line also parses as old-fashioned (and a bit rural, maybe), but it does so in a way that doesn't feel weird.
So, if I were going to be a bit looser with my translation, and do it in a way that feels natural to me, I think it would be like this:
Midwinter. Snow.
I leave bread for the birds
and sleep no worse for that.
...Anyway, there are about a million ways to translate this one, even though it's only three lines. and I like that. So, I'm looking forward to reading more from Luminous Spaces and then comparing the works there to other translations. It should be fun. Hopefully I'll get to it soon.
A couple years back, Luminous Spaces was published – a new collection of Hauge's poetry and selections from his journals, all translated by Olav Grinde. I haven't actually had a chance to read all of it properly yet, but for the fun of flipping through, it's very good – and there are quite a few in it that I haven't seen before. Overall, I find that his work has a very light, effortless feel to it, and it's really nice to view the poems that I do know from an entirely different perspective.
One of my other volumes of Hauge's work is The Dream We Carry, translated by Bly & Hedin. It's parallel text, and I really appreciate that – because while Hauge's work is good in translation, it's also fun to look at the translation, then look at the original, and see the path taken to the English version. Of course, sometimes it's very difficult, because I don't read Norwegian very well, and Hauge's work is so dialect-y, but... with some of his works, it's easier than others.
And then the other volume that I have is Robin Hedin's translation, Leaf-huts and Snow-houses, which I've had for quite a while, but haven't read as extensively as Dream We Carry, because it doesn't have the parallel translation. (But then again, the lack of parallel text gives more room for more poems, which isn't a bad thing at all.)
I recall that one time, I was talking with a Norwegian fan of Hauge's work, and they said that they didn't like Bly's translations very much. I can't remember exactly why, though. Something about... getting the voice all wrong, or something like that. I wonder what they would think of Grinde's English translations.
Here is one of my favourites of Hauge's work in four different versions.
Olav H. Hauge's original:
Midvinter. Snø.
Eg gjev fuglane ei brødskorpe.
Og søv ikke ringare for det.
Robert Bly's translation from The Dream We Carry:
Midwinter. Snow.
I gave the birds a piece of bread.
And it didn't affect my sleep.
Robin Hedin's translation from Leaf-huts and Snow-houses:
Midwinter. Snow.
I gave the birds a crust.
And sleep no worse for that.
Olav Grinde's translation from Luminous Spaces:
Midwinter. Snow.
I throw out bread crusts for the birds.
And I lose no sleep over that.
This is one of the few of Hauge's works that I can read in Norwegian without difficulty. The only word that gave me trouble was the nynorsk ringare, which is forverret in bokmål. (It's much easier to look these things up now that I've bothered to bookmark a nynorsk – bokmål ordbok, let me tell you.)
There are bits and pieces that I like about each of these translations. Of the second line, I like how vivid the image is in Grinde's translation, though I prefer to flow of Bly's translation. In the third line, I think I like the way Hedin translated it the best, with Grinde a close second. If it were an original poem, though, I think I would like Bly's best, for the way it parses when spoken. But the feeling in Grinde's is very good.
If I were to translate it myself, it'd be a mix of all of them, I guess... Something like this:
Midwinter. Snow.
I give the birds a bread crust
and sleep no worse for that.
...And yes, I stripped some of the punctuation and capitals, which might be taking a bit too much liberty with it. But the capitalization and punctuation in lines two and three frankly annoys me quite a bit – it's the only thing I dislike about this poem. So. Into the bin it goes. (It's a good thing I only do this for my own entertainment.)
I'm actually kind of stuck on how I would translate "brødskorpe" if I were actually doing this seriously. Because calling it a bread crust, or just "a crust", is a totally legitimate decision, but it's not really a phrasing that feels natural to my dialect – it exists, but it parses as old-fashioned. You'd see it in old books; it's not a phrase someone in my real-life would use. Though it feels odd to say that, because the way I wrote the third line also parses as old-fashioned (and a bit rural, maybe), but it does so in a way that doesn't feel weird.
So, if I were going to be a bit looser with my translation, and do it in a way that feels natural to me, I think it would be like this:
Midwinter. Snow.
I leave bread for the birds
and sleep no worse for that.
...Anyway, there are about a million ways to translate this one, even though it's only three lines. and I like that. So, I'm looking forward to reading more from Luminous Spaces and then comparing the works there to other translations. It should be fun. Hopefully I'll get to it soon.
Yuu. Fic writer & book lover. M/Canada.