(no subject)

[yuuago]

I'M SO FUCKING DEPRESSED.

I'm so stressed out, I'm molting. Or I would be if I were a bird.

Now that I think of it, it's a fucking miracle that I don't have trich or something.

Fuuuuuuuck me. Just. Fuck everything.

If it weren't so goddamn damp out, I'd be tempted to go out in the forest and just. Scream.

Except that's a bad idea, because the woods are within earshot of residences, and if someone heard it there'd be a whole lot of explaining to do.

[/throws hands up]

Fuck everything! Fuck all of it! ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.

Oh. But I just remembered one thing, and I'm pretty happy about it. I have been keeping a close eye on my finances lately, and I've been able to put a lot of my previous paycheque toward a vehicle. It helps that I cut out/reduced a few unnecessary things. It's still NOT ENOUGH, jesus fuck vehicles are so goddamn expensive... but, it's a start.

So. One good thing! One very good thing!

But overall I just feel like FUCK EVERYTHING. (Maybe it's just that the rain is killing my mood... Throwing off my groove... You Know How It Is.)

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

[/huuugg]

[yuuago]

[/hugs!] :)

[kiraly]

*all the hugs* I'm sorry depression is being so shitty. But that's good news on the future car front!

[yuuago]

[/hugs!]

Ehhh, I'll manage.

We're going window shopping for cars this weekend... I expect it'll be quiiite a while before I find something suitable. Oh joy. ;p

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, sometimes everything just needs to go fuck itself, that's how it is.

I don't know what works for you but for me the thing that gets me out of this mood the fastest is to deliberately wallow in it hardcore. I dig out my angry/sad/offensive music, I draw angry/sad/offensive shit with total disregard to how it will be received (if I end up posting it at all, which I generally don't). Watch some messed up shit, like say, horror anime. Then look up some dumb humor and laugh like an idiot. Then listen to some beautiful, uplifting music. Stuff with mood whiplash built in works great (which is why anime is so important, as well as melodic death metal). Something about this emotional chaos seems to reset my brain and put it at peace with the fact that the world is inevitably a messed up place, and I'm a messed up part of it. I have no idea if this is useful for you... but I'm offering this as an alternative to positive thinking and self care, which are good things but they tend to give their reward in the long term, while not being soothing enough short-term (for me at least). Whatever you do, know that I'm rooting for you and for times when you will be much more comfortable and happy. I'm always here if you need anything.

LK

[yuuago]

:D Thanks, mate.

I find what works best for me is like, exercise and/or cleaning. "I feel like shit? FINE, I might feel like shit, but at least I'm going to do something useful while I'm doing that! RRRARRRR!!!" Which doesn't help if these moods hit me while I'm at work, but oh well. xD

[(Anonymous)]

*Hugs* I wish I was close enough to tell you "Listen, let's go to have a drink somewhere, at a place you like, and take time just for us, eat something good, pick some books at the bookstore and talk about nice things", just to change our mind and have a pleasant moment.
Good luck, Yuu. You're stronger than it, you'll overcome it. I belive in you and I'm there if you want to talk, someday, right ? *More hugs, and virtual tea in the meantime*

Mélusine

[yuuago]

Aw, Melu. Thanks. :) I'm fine now, don't worry. xD <3