(no subject)

[yuuago]

Fuck, I'm so goddamn depressed.

You know, it's kind of like when you have a cold, and you go to the doc to see if there's anything they can give you for it, and they're like "Nope, sorry, this one's been going around a lot, but you'll just have to wait it out. Rest and fluids, yo. Good luck."

We're in a "rest and fluids" situation over here. Or, well... I don't even fucking know. Like, there's no specific cause right now (no more than usual) so there isn't anything I can do about it aside from get as much exercise as possible, keep my living space tidy, and try to do something vaguely productive every day, at the very least. And I'm DOING that but I still feel like shit in a really vague sort of way.

It's like the entire world is beige. Or like if everything I ate tasted like cold mashed potatoes.

And in addition to that, I just kind of feel really bitter about the fact that I exist, I guess. Like, I don't want to kill myself or anything, I just wish I had never existed to begin with, and I'm so fucking mad that I DO exist. Certain people should have thought some things over a little bit more carefully, is all I'm saying.

I just feel like garbage, really. Throw me on the compost heap, thanks.

UGH, FUCKING... I'LL JUST... do some tidying up and then do some yoga this evening and maybe finish reading this one book because I might as well do SOMETHING and then try to go to bed at a reasonable time. Because there really isn't anything else I can do.