(no subject)

[yuuago]

Ahhh man.

You know, sometimes I think I have things pretty much together. But then I look at myself, and it's like... oh. No. Not really, no.

Or, well, some things are going fine, but then other things need so much work. Very frustrating situation.

And of course, I can't just snap my fingers and everything will magically be fixed. If I could, I would have done that already! And the first step to correcting the problem is being aware that there is a problem. But like, argh, man. The particular thing I'm thinking about right now is going to take years and years to fix.

I have a fucked up relationship with life, the universe, and everything. And some other things in particular, which I can't even bring myself to name because I'm kind of ashamed to have this particular issue, and that is also fucked up, because would I judge someone else negatively for it? No.

This sucks.

(I'm fine, or well, I'm fine enough, I'm just going to wallow and feel sorry for myself for a few minutes, that's all.)

On the upside, the intrusive thoughts have been a bit more manageable lately. While it's too early to come to any conclusions, I recently changed my workout routine a little, and I think it might be helping somewhat. For now, at least.