Well, that sure happened.
May. 28th, 2017 12:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yuuagoSo, a few days ago, the authors/artists of a webcomic I follow (Small Trolls) found my fanfiction for it, and informed me that they had read it. This isn't overall a big deal, but since I didn't write down my thoughts about that at the time, I might as well now, since I want to chew on some of my feelings about all this.
I get pretty stressed-out and nervous when I receive unexpected attention, even if it's very positive (and this was; they liked my writing, and they were very nice about it). That has roughly 100% to do with me and my neuroses, and 0% to do with Elli and Karo, so I'll just acknowledge that part and move on.
Both of them seem very welcoming to fanfiction in general, so, luckily we don't have one of those situations where fans and creators are at odds on the matter. That's always awkward and stressful, and I'm glad we don't have to deal with that. Ficcers gonna' fic no matter what the original author thinks, but it's best when the author has a positive outlook about it.
Speaking in the abstract, when an author/artist finds fanwork for their canon, there's always the possibility that the content will be something that they don't like, either because it's contrary to their interpretation of their own work, or because of the content itself (and more specifically, the content rating).
Ordinarily, I would give more-or-less zero fucks about what the canon creator thinks of my fanfiction, because they are absolutely not the intended audience. My intended audience is other fans. If the author goes looking, their reaction doesn't matter - even if it's something they dislike or something that makes them uncomfortable. It's not my problem. And in this particular situation, roughly half of me still gives no fucks, because once again - the canon author is not the intended audience. But the other half cares very much. Elli and Karo have been nothing but friendly and nice to me, and I've had the pleasure of speaking directly to them on more than one occasion, and the impression that I get is that they want their fans to be comfortable talking to them, and that's great. So the possibility of creeping them out or making them uncomfortable in any way is the absolute last thing that I would want to happen.
To be clear, I'm not concerned about what I've already written. The poetry that I've scribbled down for Small Trolls and Year in Hereafter has nothing objectionable to it (though that one shippy YiH fic is mildly embarrassing, but only for the usual reason that I generally find my niche writing mildly embarrassing). What I'm concerned about is fanfic-in-potentia. Stuff that I haven't written, but probably some day will. I write a lot of gen, but I also write a lot of romance, with varying content ratings. Sometimes those content ratings are 18+. Sometimes the content itself is... well, niche and kind of weird.
Not that I would write shipfic for Small Trolls set at the current canon point. The characters are much too young right now for even the most fluffiest of fluffy romance. But - I've seen the concept art. The adult designs for Jáhko and Veeti are very attractive. And I love "childhood friends later become lovers" narratives in fanfic, especially if there is a bit of friction between the characters.
...It's inevitable, to be perfectly honest.
And then of course there's Year in Hereafter too, which is the same sort of thing. It's a case of "This stuff doesn't exist yet, but it probably will, after a while".
So, basically, I'm feeling a little bit nerve-wracked over the possibility that eventually, I might write the stuff I typically would write for any canon, and Elli and Karo might find it, and get creeped out.
Which is a whole load of rubbish, really, because:
-In order to find my writing, they had to go to my fic archive on Dreamwidth, and scroll through a whole bunch of SSSS and aRTD shipfic and porn in order to even discover that I've written any Small Trolls and YiH stuff in the first place. I know for sure that they found it this way, rather than stumbling over the category on Ao3. So, if they're at all observant, they already know what kind of things I usually write.
-Since they've stated that they do want their fans to share fanwork with them, I have been very clear about what kind of fic I will purposefully link them to, if and when I write it, if and when I decide to do so: fanfiction with canon-typical content. (Probably G-rated, probably gen.)
-So, if they look for something in the future, and find something that I wrote but didn't share with them for any reason, and they happen to get squicked out or something, it is not my problem.
What this means is that I really should chill out, because I'm getting all nervous over something that hasn't even happened yet, and possibly never will. My neurotic brain strikes again!
(And I suppose I'm entirely ignoring the possibility that, uh, our tastes could potentially actually align in this regard. But that would be a whole other level of "weird and unexpected situation".)
It all sounds terribly funny (or at least a little ridiculous) when I read over all this. So, hopefully now that I've hashed it out in text, it won't gnaw at me any more.
...I think I might be on my way to getting over it, because I've already started some ridiculous shipfic. It's the most glurgey nonsense imaginable, and probably terribly out of character, and likely to be jossed or at least not in keeping with future canon because I haven't backread much of the supplemental material on Patreon yet, so really I'm just pulling everything out of the air. And it has lots of pining and frustration and gratuitous landscape descriptions, because apparently that's the shape my id takes. It's absolutely plotless, and I probably won't know how to end it, and I'll likely come across it in the WIP folder two months from now and think "What the fuck is this, and what should I do with it?"
So, you know, I suppose everything's just fine, after all.
I get pretty stressed-out and nervous when I receive unexpected attention, even if it's very positive (and this was; they liked my writing, and they were very nice about it). That has roughly 100% to do with me and my neuroses, and 0% to do with Elli and Karo, so I'll just acknowledge that part and move on.
Both of them seem very welcoming to fanfiction in general, so, luckily we don't have one of those situations where fans and creators are at odds on the matter. That's always awkward and stressful, and I'm glad we don't have to deal with that. Ficcers gonna' fic no matter what the original author thinks, but it's best when the author has a positive outlook about it.
Speaking in the abstract, when an author/artist finds fanwork for their canon, there's always the possibility that the content will be something that they don't like, either because it's contrary to their interpretation of their own work, or because of the content itself (and more specifically, the content rating).
Ordinarily, I would give more-or-less zero fucks about what the canon creator thinks of my fanfiction, because they are absolutely not the intended audience. My intended audience is other fans. If the author goes looking, their reaction doesn't matter - even if it's something they dislike or something that makes them uncomfortable. It's not my problem. And in this particular situation, roughly half of me still gives no fucks, because once again - the canon author is not the intended audience. But the other half cares very much. Elli and Karo have been nothing but friendly and nice to me, and I've had the pleasure of speaking directly to them on more than one occasion, and the impression that I get is that they want their fans to be comfortable talking to them, and that's great. So the possibility of creeping them out or making them uncomfortable in any way is the absolute last thing that I would want to happen.
To be clear, I'm not concerned about what I've already written. The poetry that I've scribbled down for Small Trolls and Year in Hereafter has nothing objectionable to it (though that one shippy YiH fic is mildly embarrassing, but only for the usual reason that I generally find my niche writing mildly embarrassing). What I'm concerned about is fanfic-in-potentia. Stuff that I haven't written, but probably some day will. I write a lot of gen, but I also write a lot of romance, with varying content ratings. Sometimes those content ratings are 18+. Sometimes the content itself is... well, niche and kind of weird.
Not that I would write shipfic for Small Trolls set at the current canon point. The characters are much too young right now for even the most fluffiest of fluffy romance. But - I've seen the concept art. The adult designs for Jáhko and Veeti are very attractive. And I love "childhood friends later become lovers" narratives in fanfic, especially if there is a bit of friction between the characters.
...It's inevitable, to be perfectly honest.
And then of course there's Year in Hereafter too, which is the same sort of thing. It's a case of "This stuff doesn't exist yet, but it probably will, after a while".
So, basically, I'm feeling a little bit nerve-wracked over the possibility that eventually, I might write the stuff I typically would write for any canon, and Elli and Karo might find it, and get creeped out.
Which is a whole load of rubbish, really, because:
-In order to find my writing, they had to go to my fic archive on Dreamwidth, and scroll through a whole bunch of SSSS and aRTD shipfic and porn in order to even discover that I've written any Small Trolls and YiH stuff in the first place. I know for sure that they found it this way, rather than stumbling over the category on Ao3. So, if they're at all observant, they already know what kind of things I usually write.
-Since they've stated that they do want their fans to share fanwork with them, I have been very clear about what kind of fic I will purposefully link them to, if and when I write it, if and when I decide to do so: fanfiction with canon-typical content. (Probably G-rated, probably gen.)
-So, if they look for something in the future, and find something that I wrote but didn't share with them for any reason, and they happen to get squicked out or something, it is not my problem.
What this means is that I really should chill out, because I'm getting all nervous over something that hasn't even happened yet, and possibly never will. My neurotic brain strikes again!
(And I suppose I'm entirely ignoring the possibility that, uh, our tastes could potentially actually align in this regard. But that would be a whole other level of "weird and unexpected situation".)
It all sounds terribly funny (or at least a little ridiculous) when I read over all this. So, hopefully now that I've hashed it out in text, it won't gnaw at me any more.
...I think I might be on my way to getting over it, because I've already started some ridiculous shipfic. It's the most glurgey nonsense imaginable, and probably terribly out of character, and likely to be jossed or at least not in keeping with future canon because I haven't backread much of the supplemental material on Patreon yet, so really I'm just pulling everything out of the air. And it has lots of pining and frustration and gratuitous landscape descriptions, because apparently that's the shape my id takes. It's absolutely plotless, and I probably won't know how to end it, and I'll likely come across it in the WIP folder two months from now and think "What the fuck is this, and what should I do with it?"
So, you know, I suppose everything's just fine, after all.
Yuu. Fic writer & book lover. M/Canada.
no subject
Date: 2017-05-28 10:37 pm (UTC)You shouldn't. EMBRACE THE NICHE, YUU!
if they look for something in the future, and find something that I wrote but didn't share with them for any reason, and they happen to get squicked out or something, it is not my problem.
EXACTLY.
Also *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2017-05-28 11:22 pm (UTC)I'll be fiiiiine but wow, does anxiety ever have a way of making trivial nonsense seem so much bigger than it actually is.
[/hugs!]
no subject
Date: 2017-05-29 11:31 am (UTC)The way I see it, there are three possible ways to address this.
The Lawful Good route: ask these specific creators how they feel about shippy, 18+, "pretty weird" content, and then respect their wishes whatever they are (never post it? slap a ton of warnings on it? don't share it with them? etc)
The Chaotic Evil route: write whatever you want and post under a different account. Never admit it's your work and never engage with any criticism.
The Lawful Evil route: post what you want regardless of creator desires, put it on your account, tag it, don't attempt to hide it in any way, and if confronted support the point that ficcers are free to do whatever they want even if it goes against authors' intentions.
I call the last two evil simply because you might end up hurting some nice people's feelings, but you could argue that's not really evil and there's truth in that too. Also, there is the possibility that they share your niche interests, as you said :) And another possibility that you don't discuss at all: that much like Minna, they don't mind fanfic and fanart regardless. Maybe they can just enjoy what is to their tastes and accept&ignore the rest. It is likely! Anxiety tends to ignore the most bland yet most likely outcomes, as you might know by now.
Whatever you do, I appreciate that you're considerate about this and also able to keep your interest in mind. I have a lot of appreciation for fanfic, and specifically 18+ fanfic, double specifically if it's queer (both pwp and the one that takes into account feelings and subtle in-universe relevant issues and explores interesting ground). Gods know we don't have anywhere near enough quality erotic anything in mainstream media. Almost all good erotic content is fanfic nowadays, and people really NEED to read things like this imo. I want fanfic to be as free as possible, even as I sympathize with authors' wishes as well. It's always going to be a delicate topic, but you have my support.
LK
no subject
Date: 2017-05-29 12:24 pm (UTC)Hoo boy, you are right about that. It's kind of like this comic:
http://pr1nceshawn.tumblr.com/post/139107400304/worst-case-vs-best-case-scenarios-by-karina
I tend to latch on to the "worst case" and AGONIZE OVER IT to a ridiculous extent, without even considering the best outcome, and almost never the most likely result. What a pain in the ass. My brain is out to get me, I swear.
Anyway, I figure, I'm most likely to go with what you call the Lawful Evil route, but which to me is more of a Lawful Neutral route - because I feel that should be the default, and it is the default in most cases. The only reason it's at all atypical here is because it's such an indie canon. But I shouldn't conduct myself differently just because of the way that the source is published.
Besides, even at my weirdest, my fanwork tends to fall under the descriptor of "Odd but harmless". It'd be a little different if I were a darkfic writer, I guess.
no subject
Date: 2017-05-29 03:51 pm (UTC)LK
no subject
Date: 2017-05-29 03:57 pm (UTC)