Fffffffffffu

[yuuago]

I really wish my brain would stop going haywire every time I get even the slightest urge to talk to somebody I don't know.



Especially when it's ON THE INTERNET and it's someone I'm PAYING TO DO THINGS.

Crap goddamnit sonova --

Anxiety sucks so much.

[edit]

Actually, you know what. This is STUPID.

And because it's stupid, I'm going to DO THE THING.

(And since I've just said it, that means I have to do it. Yes. Hello, accountability!)

...But damn, is it ever stupid.

[Edit II: Electric Boogaloo]

I did the thing.

I sound like a stupid airhead every time I open my metaphorical mouth, but it doesn't matter. I DID THE THING.

...You know, it utterly amazes me that I've come across people who think that I'm cool and collected, considering THIS (that is, the above) is frequently how I feel about, like, lots of things.

"I'm too nervous to talk to this person! They'll think I'm stupid/annoying/obnoxious/clueless/an utter cabbagehead!"
[/opens tab to comment anyway]
[/types comment]
[/deletes everything]
[/closes tab]
[/repeats 10 times]

...But at least I DID THE THING this time. At least there is that.

Comments

[greatandgrey]

*HUGS* I understand how you feel. I panic even thinking about calling or contacting people I've known for a while because of reasons, and I just assume I'll be bothering them and any interruption from me would be annoying them (so I just keep my mouth shut XD ) I can only ever contact exchange mods privately, seldom in the exchange communities because, again, just can't do it. This type of anxiety just sucks. But you're no airhead! :) Your moments of anxiety does not define you.

[yuuago]

[/hugs!!]

Haa, glad that someone knows where I'm coming from. IT'S THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING. I even get nervous like this when I'm talking to my friends! Which is just plain stupid, because they're... my friends....

And like. Even if I did sound kind of dim, coming off like that isn't the end of the world. :D

[greatandgrey]

Aw, it is! :) And I know that feeling too, about friends (and family too. Sigh.) There's a constant nagging feeling that I'm just bothering everyone who don't really care so I stop trying after a while. XD

Even if I did sound kind of dim, coming off like that isn't the end of the world. :D
That's what kicks me into gear at work, I think. When I see people who need help but are struggling with communication, I sympathize so much with that that I become super patient. I'm mostly trying to get to the heart of the issue, find out what they need, etc. If they say things wrong or obviously seem flustered or nervous, I just filter all that out and focus on "What does this person need from me?" Maybe others are like that too? :D (and if they're not and make fun of us, then it's their problem, not ours, hee! We're only human! :) )

[minutia_r]

\o/ Go Yuu! You did the thing!

Speaking of knowing where you're coming from, remember last year when we were in BC in the same time and I knew we were going to be in BC in the same time but I didn't tell you until it was too late to actually try and maybe do something about it because I thought that maybe you kind of didn't like me?

Yeah, social anxiety is an utter cabbagehead.

[yuuago]

Wait, we were in BC at the same time?! I don't remember that. :O I mean, I knew you went there at some point, but it flew over my head that you were there when I was there. Where were you, again? Vancouver?

WELL THEN.

Yyyep. Social anxiety SUCKS.
(Also, at no point have I ever disliked you. I mean, I'm sure you're aware of this, but I'm just saying!!)

[minutia_r]

Yeah, I was in Vancouver; my sister lives there. And also, thank you for the reassurance! I mean, at this point I'm pretty sure that you like me and have never disliked me but /o\ *flail*

[nanslice]

It can really be intimidating to contact someone new for the first time! I'm glad you did it. :D

[yuuago]

So'm I. orz Gotta' keep telling myself that if I keep doing it, it will get easier. (Probably.)

[(Anonymous)]

*hugs*
I used to have that. I fight it by deliberately letting myself be inappropriate or too honest at times, just so people never build high expectations about me. It also weeds out some possibly nice but overly sensitive people. I don't know how I feel about that, I probably wouldn't be good for them anyway *shrug*

LK

[yuuago]

Haaa, yeah, I don't think that technique would suit me. But at least you figured a way around it. :V [/hugs!]