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From:

yuuago

Well if you're going to start secretly whitetexting, then in that case I'm going to ctrl+A everything you send me. EVERYTHING. EVER. It's true.

I DID CATCH YOU. And that's actually surprising, because normally I'm not good at catching similarity in style. But now that I've seen your stuff a bit I can recognize it. This makes me happy~ Anyway. FUCK YES COMFY SWEATERS. They are wonderful and warm which is helpful when you don't have heat. ... Er.

(You get yelled at for wearing sweaters in summer too? So do I. Or at least, I did, when I lived with my parents. But it's like... dude, I'm in the basement, and you have the AC going full-blast. OF COURSE I AM COLD.)

Your point about really big threads being harder on the computer than long ones makes perfect sense now that I think about it. Since I don't get involved in a lot of that kind, I hadn't really considered it before. Geeeze, that World Conference thread was HUGE.

Duplo's posted at the meme a few times, actually; but when we've threaded together, it has always been in sub-threads, not ones that he started. We've threaded twice at the meme, according to my log, but I think they've posted a few other times since their first thread as well. aklsdjf Normally I'm not one who says "they should post more", because of course I support people playing according to whenever they feel like it, but mannnn... I wish he'd post more. ~~And this person does play two other characters - rather quirky ones, really~~

I find that the meme has started to get a teeny tiny bit slower, but not much. I figure by the time September is over things will be slower, but... Gah, I don't know. You know, with so much RP nowadays, and a higher population of users, I don't see it slowing all that much. It's kind of frustrating. Just a little bit. It would be nice not to miss fifty million things just because I went and had a life for an hour or two. Ah, well. I'm generally pretty good at forcing myself to do work when there is no other option, so I think I'm good.

Anyway. I AM CRAZY. I certainly am. But there is a sort of logic to my madness. I think. In any case, you've now been educated regarding a small (and probably useless to you) piece of Newfie slang. Now, you say you like being able to have the voice when you read it... In my case, I need to have the voice when I write it. Since I rely so much on dialogue (both internal and external) I need to know exactly how they would speak. Though it doesn't always make things easier to write (gods know, I certainly know how Sweden and Norway speak, but they're a pain in the ass to write). But without the voice I can't do it.

It's rare for girls to be my favourite character in a series - at least a visual series; often it's different in literature. I guess the reasons you suspect for girl characters being disliked make sense, though I'd say the "feeling threatened" and "getting in the way" bits are pretty ridiculous, even if it makes sense that people would feel that way (people do not always follow earth-logic). I find it very strange that people spazz out if their OTP, be it slash or otherwise, doesn't become canon. I mean, who cares? Realistically, it probably never had a chance - especially slash, I mean really, talk about unrealistic expectations - and why does it matter so much, anyway? I mean, there's nothing to keep a person from writing fic or doing art about other pairings, regardless of whether it's canon or not. Then again, I've never understood this whole thing about holding hard-and-fast to canon, because departures can be done in fic, but they have to be done well, and logically.

From:

yuuago

Female characters being written badly though... yes, that's something I definitely understand, and I can definitely see that. I've certainly seen a lot of stuff with female characters who were just... very difficult to like. It's especially easy to notice when there are very few women in a series (like Fushigi Yuugi, for example). Now that I think of it, there was some of this problem in my last fandom as well. Since you asked, that was Weiss Kreuz, 2001-2003 or so (man, has it been that long? I had to go check my ancient fanfiction.net account to find out. Thought it was more recent). Anyway, that was the last fandom I was actually active in, aside from My Little Pony but that was focused on collection/restoration rather than the, er, show and fic and stuff... where am I going with this. OH RIGHT. Weiss Kreuz. It had some female characters that were pretty awesome, but most of them didn't have a lot of screen time compared to the main male charaters, and they tended to get ignored a lot in fic. Though
I was only involved in the fanfiction writing side, so maybe things were different in other ways. Hard to tell.

Fables, you say? I've heard of it. At one point I considered picking it up, but my ex was a fan, and... eh... well, you probably know how it is. But I'm sure after a while all that bitterness will have worn off and I'll be able to read it.
I used to be really big into comics, but man, they're expensive, and it isn't like you ever run into them at the used book store. So I've kind of slowed down what I've been reading. I still need to get through Maus, and I haven't read all my volumes of Moomins, but that's all I have at the moment. I really want to read more, though. In my 4th year of undergrad I took a course on comics as literature, and ahhhhh so much good stuff to read (though we didn't touch any Gaiman). Though the analysis bit wasn't as fun, hah.

As far as art goes, pencil crayons are really the only thing that I've had consistent access to, and they're the only thing that I've become really, really good at. I use them for pretty much everything (when I do draw). And normally people end up thinking it's photoshop if they see it online, or pastel if they see it in real life - because the colours are so smooth and the texture does not look the way they would normally expect it to look. I sometimes feel kind of... smug, I guess, when they get all wide-eyed and like, "What? Pencil crayon? No way!". Hah.

Paint Shop Pro is kind of archaic I guess, but it gets the job done. I bought my copy - this was way back and I'm pretty sure torrents didn't exist - and I haven't really bothered to move on, I just keep using PSP7. I think part of the reason that digital colouring takes me longer than physical colouring is partly because I'm just better at real media, and more used to it, so I can blend colours more quickly, get them to look exactly the way I want them to. Also, when doing digital, I have to use my non-dominant hand, which slows things up a bit. Well, whatever the reason, coloured pencils take me a couple days, whereas digital takes a week or more, and that's if I constantly sit there and do it.

It really, really bothers me that digital is looked at more highly than traditional, at least in the online world. I know that digital art looks better on a computer, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with traditional - and yet, I've gotten so many comments saying "Oh, this is okay, but you'd do so much better with photoshop". I DON'T WANT TO USE PHOTOSHOP. And I know they think they mean it as a compliment, but it really, really comes off as if they're putting down my medium, and arghhhh. Nooooo. (Now I just feel like whining).

Multi-talented people are just like, wow. Fortunately a lot of the ones that I know about/follow/etc are so good that I can't even bother being envious of their skill; I just sit back and enjoy the pretty. Like Ursula Vernon, oh my god, so good. *flails* The things she can do with paint, good lord. Or a few hours with a tablet. alksdfj.

From:

yuuago

...Anyway. You do make a good point about how artists are hardly ever satisfied with what they do. And I know this. Hell, I know some people who are excellent, but they feel everything they do is crap... But generally, I realize when I do something that's pretty good. The problem is that drawing anything at all, even something simple, takes me forever (days/weeks), and in the end it still doesn't look anything like what I was trying to do, and it doesn't look all that good, either. There was a point several years back where it wasn't so bad, and I think it's because I wasn't as concerned about things looking like what they were supposed to be. I dunno. Maybe someday I'll start trying to draw again, even if it's just so I'll have something to colour. I still have all these Prismas sitting around, after all.

Moving on to fic now. It's funny that you mention England/Canada and that whole thing where those stories actually end up being US/UK in disguise - considering there was a thread today about precisely that thing. A buddy of mine really likes UK/Can, and apparently like, half the stuff out there that claims to be UK/Can actually isn't. It's a damn shame, and I really should get around to writing more with them, just to try and even it out a little. Fff.

I guess you're right when you say that some characters click or not. Denmark for me - and also Iceland for me. I''m still not sure what to think about the guy. No matter how much fic I read about him, he doesn't stick. I follow a certain Icy RPer, too, and even though I love the way they play, I can't find myself seeing Iceland as being the way they play him - but I also can hardly see him at all. (I don't know if that sentence made sense). There's so little that I can see in my head, but what I can see isn't really the same as the other stuff I run across, and in the end I'm left thinking, "Okay, what the hell do I do with this guy?". But I guess when I start writing him more, I'll figure it out.

(And don't worry, you didn't make me worry, ff. I actually don't really fret all that much, except sometimes when it comes to the people who are very difficult to write. And even then it's more like, "ARGH. I can see you, and I can hear you, why can't I write you?!")

Ffff. Maybe you do sound like Denmark! Or maybe not. <3 Mostly I based it off how my family from the Drumheller area speaks. Kind of a lazy drawl. MAYBE THERE IS SOMETHING FAMILIAR. MAYBE NOT. 8D

So anyway, on the computer front - no, I'm definitely stuck playing tech support. Even if I sent her a book on the subject, she wouldn't read it, and if she did read it, she wouldn't understand it. *facedesk* Lovely. Alas, I must endure calls of "THE INTERNET IS BROKEN".

Moving on. Yeahhh, I was kidding. But considering it wasn't totally obvious, you get a pass there. ;p Er, by explanation about the whole recluse thing... it's kind of a long story, but basically there was a period from maybe late Feburary until July when I went into this huge depressive episode and gradually withdrew from everything completely. After a while I stopped going to classes completely (though I still showed up to teach my class - I can fuck up my own life, but I wouldn't let my students down) and I didn't finish my essays, and I missed my exams. There were various contributing factors, including the fact that my furnace was broken for at least two months during this time, and there were relationship things I was upset about, etc. Eventually I also stopped answering my parents' phone calls and I stopped checking my school e-mail, and I only went outside to go to the grocery store and occasionally the cafe. Most of my time was spent in bed.

So basically, it was this huge downward spiral, but luckily I've managed to pull myself out of it. I've settled everything with the department, and I'm allowed to come back for another year, and I won't suffer academic penalty. (The only reason I'm going into this is because, well, all the entries about it are public anyway, and I don't really mind talking about it, because somehow talking about it helps). Now that I'm no longer pretending to be Emily Dickinson (so to speak), I can get on with things.

From:

yuuago

I haven't had a "real" job during university, so I'm not really sure how difficult it will be. Last year I had two jobs, but they were at the school. One was at the writing centre, and I taught there in a three-hour block every Friday. That didn't take up a lot of time, and sometimes it was very slow so I was able to read my textbooks or write stories. My other job was a bit more difficult; I was a TA for a professor who taught first-year English. So I had to go to the lectures for those first-year courses (so I would know what he was teaching). Then I had to teach 20 of the students for an hour every Friday. These sessions were mostly discussion, and it was difficult because it was at 8:30 AM and a lot of the time the students didn't want to talk because they were sleepy, or they didn't want to talk because they hated the book. Sigh. I also had to mark and grade their essays (except for the final exams, which the professor marked). The actual time in the classroom wasn't much, but preparing for teaching (and reading all the novels they were studying) as well as marking the stuff took quite a while.

...Anyway. Moving on. If you could enlighten me as to why people on the meme might find me intimidating, I'd really appreciate it. This goes double if it's anything that I might be able to change. I want to be approachable, both online and offline. I don't want people to think I'm scary. So if it's something about my behaviour that can be adjusted, then I'm fully willing to work on that. As for me being a Norway or a Sweden offline, I still say I'm closer to Sweden - but with an enormous dose of derp. I want to speak, but I have to think it over 2093483 times before I can say it - not because I'm concerned about getting it right, like Sweden is, but because it takes me ages to think of a response beyond "hurr durr derp". So like, I'm civil and stuff, but I don't talk much because I can't... think of anything to say, at all. This is a real pain in the ass in class situations, let me tell you. By the time I manage to think of something to contribute to the discussion, someone else has already said it.

Now, as for television, yeah... you basically hit it right on the head. I mean, with the old stuff, it's more about solving the mystery through logic + evidence, then the courtroom drama that followed. Now it's all just SHINY SHINY SHINY. And it has become more about the personal lives of the detectives/CSI people/whatever than about the crime. Ah, well. I don't really find myself interested in anything on television except crime stuff, news, and the occasional documentary, so... as you can probably guess, I hardly ever watch televisionm, though I own one. (Mum keeps saying I should upgrade my cable package. Pfft, can't be bothered...)

Now, back to writing stuff - yeah, I guess I might be able to transplant the personalities into something else. Right now I'm kind of burnt out on original fiction I guess (which is why I'm writing fanfiction), but when I get back in the groove I might try. When I was trying to salvage things before I gave up, I figured that maybe what I could do is start over, strip it of all the mystical stuff, and make it some sort of story about a kid who aspires to be a star and the music teacher who's trying to help him make it big.

Julian (the Jesus kid) was one of the ones with a fully fleshed-out personality. This is partly because I had been fiddling with him for longer than most of the others. Same thing goes for Francois, the vampire. Man, do I ever miss writing him. He was so much fun. The kind of person I would really want to know, you kow? (And now I realize that I'm starting to talk about them as if they're real people, but... In a way, they really are like old friends)

From:

yuuago

I guess you're right about ridiculous things being capable of being written seriously. It's just one of the things that turned me off from my original ideas, though. Everything was so... grand, and so ridiculous, but I wrote it so seriously. My ex once asked me (about the Jesus story) "Isn't this supposed to be satire?" Well... no. Actually, no. And after a time I came to find it all so frustrating, like things didn't match up. And I can't really think of a "real" (Published) thing that is like that - ridiculous, but handled seriously. Discworld serious maybe, but that's very obviously satirical. Sigh. I don't know. I guess that's why I really wish I could latch on to that ghost story idea and write it; it's like, the only thing I've ever come up with that isn't totally huge and ridiculous. It actually makes a lick of sense.

Anyway. Moving on to real life. I am, indeed, a neat freak. If things are out of place, it really stresses me out. This is partly because I like things to be in their place, but also (I guess) because I was raised in a way that kind of drilled into my head... well, if you don't keep things completely neat and tidy, you're a bad person, basically. I know it's not true, but I guess my subconscious or whatever is stuck on that, because I'm always cleaning. Sigh. Anyway, yeah, I have seen that show - my mum watches it all the time. Crazy shit, that. ... And every time she watches it, she flips out afterward and starts cleaning everything. Ffffff.

Oh, and the thing about bookshelves not being practical - well, what I mean is, having a bookshelf is practical. Good storage. But getting it there is... difficult. I don't have any transportation, and there isn't a place within walking distance where I could get the materials to slap something together. Hell, the bus doesn't even go to wal-mart, so getting something that folds down would be difficult. So while I like the idea, it's not as easy as it might seem.

Travelling through time and spaaaace~ Why didn't I think of that? Fff. This kind of reminds me of conversations I've had with a friend of mine, a classics major. Occasionally we have these wailing and gnashing of teeth moments in which we lament the loss of so many manuscripts and scrolls and pieces of literature etc over the years. Then we make up grand plans to build a time machine and go way back to save all the stuff from the library at Alexandria and so on. Ahhh, I wish!

I've run into similar people who have a prejudice against Canadian stuff, especially the literature. I think part of the reason for this is a tendency toward thinking that Canadian literature is all about, you know, people freezing to death on the prairies and so on. I try to stress the difference between that and the kind of thing I study by saying "No, not Canadian literature. Literature by Canadians." And then they tend to go "Ohhhh okay". Sigh. I wish that wasn't necessary.

I only get annoyed with Canadian lit being considered its own section if it's the only division. Like, general lit section, then Canadian off to the side. I don't like that. It should all be together. But the used book store I really like, the reall big one, it has all literature divided into author-location. Canadian, American, English, Scandinavian, Eastern European, African etc. It's helpful for when I'm trying to find something specific, especially with old stuff where I can remember origin but can't quite remember the author (or there is no author, in case of anonymous work) such as with some medieval stuff.

...As for what's wrong with Boyden, I just can't stand his work. I had to read Through Black Spruce for a class last year and I just found it So. Incredibly. DULL. Oh my god. Normally I don't dislike books, but eh... no. His work is just so blech. (Whoa, real articulate thar, Yuu)

Yeah, I don't get how it could be nothing either. I mean, all this history in one place... it's incredible. Then again, any history at all, I find fascinating. Even just living in Nova Scotia for a while was amazing, because everything's so old there compared to back home in Fort Mac. Fort Mac, that place has no history. It's like it just sprung up out of the valley one day. So to think of things that have been around for ages... wow.

From:

yuuago

Oh, and no, I never got around to posting the photos. I'm still editing them, actually. Derp. I'm so horrible about that. Really need to get that done... That as well as a graffiti photodump of the stuff I took pictures of a few weeks ago. Sigh, I'm so lazy.

Fic again - yeah, it's strange. I mean, there's a lot, but there's not a lot that interests me. Sooo I guess, to me, it seems like nothing, when really there is something, just not what I'm looking for (doesn't help that my interests are so narrow, but I guess that's my own fault). Argh, if only I liked US/UK. :| This would all be easier.

As for the kink meme, I don't check it much either nowadays. Though I really should be updating the Baltic index soon... anyway. Posting used to be very simple. There would be the part (which moved slowly in those days). Someone would request such-and-such. I'd see it, write it, then post directly in reply to the request, no problem. Then there would be a masterlist on the first page of the part, and you'd reply to that with the pairing + scenario in subject and link to the fill in the reply. Very simple. Now it's like, askdfh. You have to find the request, and keep track of where it is (because it moves so quickly). Then post it in the fill-post with link to the request. Then post a link to that in the fill-report post. It all seems very convoluted to me. Also, with the previous system, if one had a paid account then they could comment-track the replies to their request, and that way easily tell when/if it is filled without constantly checking. Or they could just check the fill-report thread on the first page of the part, and since it was subjects, just a glance would work. But with the new system it requires checking a separate post, and of course comment tracking for your request does no good any more, and I just don't like it. (Bah, ranting again).

Saaaay, the most recent Swe/Fin ones are good, eh? Thanks for the mention, I'll have to check them out. I love that stuff when it's well written. Problem is that a lot of it.... isn't. And man, I love it when people deanon. 'cause then I'm like, "OMG, that was you?!" I've made some excellent friends that way. Well, mostly Tikula, but anyway...

OH SO YOU GOT AROUND TO READING IT. AND YOU LIKED IT. THIS MAKES ME VERY HAPPY why am I capslocking fffff it is too late in the evening for me to be replying, I'm sorry. What I really mean is, I'm so happy that you liked it. I honestly was not expecting it to have such a good reception; man... all those comments, such a pleasant surprise.

And -- Paranoid to comment to me? Why? ... Er, well, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to... But anyway, you can always comment anonymously on anything that you want, if you feel that way. Anonymous commenting is enabled on all of my entries, always. It's actually always been that way; never really felt the need to require people to be logged in (and I'm pretty sure for a while I had some friends who didn't have LJ, which might also be why I kept it on. But that's neither here nor there.)

Anyway. All those terms like yandere and tsundere and so on, argh, I don't understand them at all. I guess part of it is because I've been out of fandom for so long, maybe. Argh, stuff like this makes me feel so old and out of the loop! But also I guess some of them are just untranslatable and you either get it or you don't. But I really don't like it that characters are reduced to those terms, when there is so much more to them than that. I love England, but the focus on the tsundere nonsense drives me up the wall and now I can hardly ever read England fic any more. Argh, it's enough to make me want to throw up my hands and just write some England/Canada to get all this anger out of my system. Something like what I did with "The Sun Rising" or, argh, I DON'T KNOW. *facedesk* Trying to be an example again. I don't even know if any of that ever actually works out, but I still try, because I know that people have considered pairings they wouldn't consider before, because of my stuff, so why not ways to portray characters -- Oh, I don't know, it's late and I'm babbling. I'm sorry. On to something different.

From:

yuuago

A Bulgaria-style invasion would be interesting, but myself and my buddy are totally not capable of something that epic. And to be honest -- at this point in the meme, I don't think it would go over very well, if you understand what I mean.
But possibly we will have a thread someday. I'll have to practise my sparkletext. The person I'd be going up against is a sparkletexter/spammer of epic proprotions, so I'd totally get creamed either way, but even so, one must put in an effort!

Ack, school. Good luck with that, darlin'! My first class is on Thursday and I'm a little bit freaked out, but I think it will be okay. I hope. At least this year I'll be doing something relevant to my interests (editing medieval texts, yessssss)

I look forward to hearing from you whenever you have a spare moment. <3

PS: Holy shit. I. Uh. I think I broke my own brain with how long this thing is. Just, WAT. (Good gods, I hope you never get bored with my babbling...)

From: (Anonymous)

That's probably just cause you've seen my Norway before, I bet. You think you'd be able to catch me if I had posted a picture of Canada or Poland? And as far as comfy sweaters are concerned, I'm inside most of the time anyways so I like to think that I can get away with wearing them in the summer, but alas, it's just not meant to be. Making sure I wear summer appropriate clothing is one of the few things my mother is ridiculously uptight about. She usually makes me go out and get a few groceries from Safeway every day anyways, so I guess that's more reason for me not to be wearing a sweater. I dunno, I might be weird, but not being covered up for the most part makes me feel more uncomfortable than heat does :| I dress nicer when I get the chance to put on layers and cardigans and scarves anyways

I hardly read any of that beast. It got to the point where my computer just didn't want to (Expand) it anymore. Then again I don't usually read a lot of the big RP threads anymore, and by that I'm refering mostly to godmod/truth or dare/ooc/whatever else. Their novelty has worn off big time, especially since, err, I'm sure you know how most of the dares and such on there are like now. A lot of the bigger RP threads also end up being about stuff I don't really care enough to stalk, but then again, I don't think any harm is done in me reading those threads.

Aw man, really? I really haven't seen them around, other than in that camera thread. I will have to put on my duplodanish detecting goggles on then. Keep in mind saying "should post more" and "wish they'd post more" are different things :) (even if they may sometimes be used interchangeably pff). ~~well I'm not going to be sharing my hypothesis on the subject because I hate being wrong, and there's a damn good chance I could be wrong.~~

Part 50's been really fast, but then again, it's part 50. I won't say it's slower until it takes us three days to max something. I wonder what's making the bigger difference in regards to the speed of the meme, whether it's people having time to post, or if it's that more people have come by. I think

aphanon_meme should put up a flag counter on one of the new parts, I'd really like to see how many people actually go on the meme.

Oh, but I do recall going out for most of the day once, and coming back to only three new pages. It was pretty damn cool, not gonna lie.

~~You know there's a problem when you try to justify and excuse madness~~
I guess I can see what you mean? It's nice that you're finding distinct voices for each character. Tis a pity, when all characters sound the same.

I dunno. That whole spewing hate towards female characters because they're intimidated by usually comes from insecure girls, who still haven't realized that it's their own issues that are making them dislike the character, and not the actual personality traits of the character. Maybe I'm overly generalizing on this next statement, but from what I've seen, well, I've never seen that kind of thing coming from a girl whose happy enough with herself, or at least recognizes her insecurity as the source of her discomfort towards a character. Not saying every insecure girl will do this, I'm just trying to figure out why it might happen. I should probably spend less time making sense of crazy things fangirls do ichh

I do not get the fuss over a pairing being canon. I mean, it is nice to see subtext in a series, but I think that if a canon actually becomes canon, then most of the fun is gone. You'll have to write your fic around what happened in canon, and unless you go the AU root the amount of story possibilities = cut in half (if not more). You've got more freedom when the ship isn't canon. The only plus side would be that you could act unbearably smug about it, I guess? Ah, I dunno. I've never really been able to ship anything canon. Hell, I've never really been one to ship anything popular, this fandom is probably the first fandom I've been in in which my favourite pairing actually has a good amount of fanworks (even if I have issues with some of it)

From: (Anonymous)

And it's always irritating to hear someone rag on about how people shouldn't ship so and so because it's not "canon." Hello, what's fandom for again? Even if you write a fic about an established couple, what you're writing isn't canon. Let people have fun playing in the sandbox, goddamnit. Writing about a noncanon ship isn't a sin or anything.

Weiss Kreuz. . . is that the one that's. Actually, no. I'll just wiki it. /wikis and yup, it's what I thought it was. Saaay, it wouldn't be possible to just stumble upon your old fanfiction account, would it? Or do you keep it hidden from everyone, ashamed of it's contents? Ah, I'm just asking cause I think it's neat, seeing how someone's progressed. Whether that's with art or writing (I love love love it when people post comparisons, or "through the years").

My Little Pony fic? I'm not even surprised that it exists, I've seen worse. I've seen R-rated Brave Little Toaster fic, I think. Be honest, you read any of it?

hurr, actually, I don't. Here's hoping that bitterness wears off soon, the first few trades are really worth it. Here's where my comic nerd cred drops a bit, cause I've never gotten around to reading Maus either. I'm pretty sure it's available at the library though, I should probably get it out sometime after I'm done reading these five books I've bought that I haven't touched.

Comics as literature you say? That sounds like a hell of a class, actually! Would you be a pal and mind telling me a bit of what you looked over? If you don't mind, I mean.

Haha I can't blame you for feeling smug. I love misleading people for this kind of stuff, among other things. It's one of the nice little pleasures in life, methinks.

I just remember that when I was nine or so, I'd go about browsing neopets and forums and you'd get people arguing over PSP vs PS all the time. Oh god, I could go over pretty much every graphic design trend (for personal use, like icons or personal blog layouts) since 2001. This is slighlty frightening D:
anyways.

Torrents have existed for a long time, I thought? Wiki tells me BitTorrent's been up since 2001. Maybe they just weren't as possible, I guess. How much did that sucker cost you, anyways? I recall it being a cheaper than Photoshop, but then again, everything's cheaper than Photoshop (with the exception of like, 3d studio max, which was $1000 or something if I recall correctly).

Ahh, I dunno. The actual act of blending is easy on computer, but it seems harder because I don't know what I'm doing as much? I mean, it's just. . . you move your mouse and WHA LAA, BLENDED IN ONE STEP. You don't have to go over it again and again to get it how you want. So, uh, I guess the problem with me lies in it never blending it how I want it to blend, partially because I don't know what I'm doing, and also because I'm not really sure how I want it to look like in the first place. With pencil crayons I'm usually more sure of what I want. Er, you do mention the whole non-dominant hand bit, and now that you mention it, I can see where you're coming from. You wouldn't have the problem if you had a tablet, but it'd be a terrible waste of money to get a tablet unless you were, you know, devoted (if that's the right word).

What the hell, what that person(s?) said was just rude :| Have you really got that many people telling you that? I haven't even seen it being said all that often, I'm, uh, I'm pretty stunned. People are clueless, sometimes. THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT TRUE ART.

Hahaha well, now that you mention it I guess that there does come a point where someone can be so talented that you can't help but just observe the pretty. And I just looked up this Ursula Vernon woman, who sounded familiar despite me not knowing her work, and jesus christ is she the person who drew that pear. I mean, http://www.redwombatstudio.com/blog/wpg2?g2_itemId=423
man, why do I want a print of that. I want a print of everything from her weird fruit gallery, it's so delightfully bizarre ♥

From: (Anonymous)

Well, actually, if I understood what you said correctly, then I'll just say that if you want something you draw to look the way you want it to, it's best to not just only a few things and spend lots of time on them. Getting things to look how you want comes more with having an understanding of how what you're drawing works, and less to do with spending time on it. You improve a lot faster by just doing tons of quick sketches (it's even better if you do it in pen, cause you can't erase and where the lines should go becomes a lot more ingrained in your head). After having done dozens and dozens of drawings of something, you'll know how to draw it better and it'll take a lot less time to draw to boot. ~~I wish I had learnt this years ago~~ Hurr, I'm not even sure if you're interested in this advice though! I talked about this with another anon awhile back, and she said she'd post something in a few months for me (I hope she does). I don't know how this method compares with improving your writing, though.

I think you should, too. I don't even ship it, but you know, I'm here to tell you to write stuff. You'd be doing the world a favour, posting more stuff anyways. ho ho

ooh, well in that case. I guess I should expand on what I said before. I suppose I think of Norway the way you think of Denmark, and we both see Iceland the same way. I sometimes love Norway and sometimes I don't, but his character doesn't exactly elude me. Iceland though, I have no idea what to think of him either! I swear for two weeks, I loved him and I just "got" him and I have no idea what happened with that. I see a lot of people's portrayals of him, and while I can like them, it's not exactly how I think he'd be? I don't even know if I should be saying that because aelkjfaoe I don't have a clear idea either. I just know I don't like him being an exact duplicate of Norway, which I see sometimes.

Iceland's still a fine lookin character, though. Snappy dresser. He and I should totally go shopping one day. Poland can join. France too, simply cause it's France, ooh la la fashion capital of the world.

Okay, and pardon this irrelevant interlude of sorts, but I remember once we talked on the meme and I joked and said that you could make Australia/Estonia work. I just saw someone request that very pairing on the meme, pfff. I'm sorry I just thought of yuu

Well, I probably have a drawl of somesorts. I'm far too lazy to say words as they should be, sometimes. Why say Toronto when I can just say Tronno (I heard that's common in Canada, though). I wouldn't be surprised if it's been a long time since I pronounced the "g" in "-ing" and I do probably say "yer" more than your and. . . I really need to check how you wrote him. If it turns out I'm Denmark I am going to be pleased as punch in the most bizarre way.

Maybe she's just misses you and is desperate to hear the sound of your voice~ hence all the tech support calls.

!!!
Um, even if you're better and all now, and this might be redundant and even if I'm making too big a deal over it. . . /hugs ♥ I'm not big on the whole human contact thing in real life but I'm rather sure I'd give you a real hug for that. I'm glad you're better. I don't really know what to say because you say it's done and over with but still. kajetoaejt it's odd that you mention it because i've always been afraid of it happening to me and even my parents have talked it over with me orz orz orz okay moving on

Still, I'd take it that it involved the same amount of time that a "real" job would? If you're lucky you might score a job that doesn't make you do much at all and you can still have time to read textbooks or write stories, like a secretary. Unless you want to be kept busy, I guess. I'd hate to teach kids at 8:30 in the morning, oi. I know I'd probably be falling alseep if I had no interest in what we were doing. Did you have to go through that whole scenario of asking what everyone's thoughts were, only to have no one raise their hand?

From: (Anonymous)

D'aww, buddy, you aren't doing anything wrong at all :') You don't even need to change anything it's just. . . One of the reasons might be being, you, um, you tend to come off as pretty smart. and occasionally tl;dr-y. Now this is all part of your charm so if you decide to cut back on the tl;dr replies I might have to beat you senseless, but people might be afraid of saying something wrong around you or sounding dumb, especially if they've come to respect your opinions on certain matters. Ahh I dunno, I know it was like that for me, I really wanted to have a discussion with you about stuff and sometimes you'd reply to something I wrote and you'd say you agree or whatever but then I'd get too scared to actually reply back and get a conversation going cause I thought I'd get something totally wrong. still kind of am afraid sometimes, err. only a bit though!
It could also be cause you're a nice guy too, that bit may go over some people's heads. You certainly don't have to worry about being intimidating because you're acting like a dick or something.

Just wondering, does it take less time for you to think of something to say online? By online I don't mean so much replying to comments, but more of on instant messengers or something. Or is it the same amount of time, it's just seems worse offline because, well, you sort of need a reply faster online. Do you even have troubles finding something to say to people you know pretty well? ~~I ask way too many questions~~

Ahh, I don't even see the point in cable anymore. Most of the shows I watch I watch online anyways. I don't see why I should go pay for a bunch of channels I will never watch, and even on those channels I do watch from time to time, I'll only be interested in one program. Usually I only watch actual tv during breakfast, and that's because where we eat faces the tv in the living room. Even then, it's only the news. Though a few shows are starting up again and I'll probably be watching them on tv for a bit so I can fangasm over them with my buddy as we watch hehe

. . . does this mean if you get in the grove of writing original fiction again, you'll stop writing fanfic? :( I mean, do what you want buddy but :( we shall miss you. I don't see a problem with keeping any of the mystical elements in, though. It's nice to see mythical things with a twist done well, it really is.

I'm pretty interested in what "Julian's" personality would really be like. I always imagine a Jesus character go around acting like Buddy Christ or something, though. I really can't blame you for becoming attached to your characters like that, that kind of thing tends to happen. My friend and I actually created a character years ago, and we've written stories about him, and sometimes I bummed out that he's not even real.

Arrrgh, you know, first time I read this reply I swear I was able to think of an example of "silly idea done seriously" but now it's slipped my mind. If I remember I'll remember to tell you. Err, there's another book, not the one I originally thought of, and it's sort of like that. The Gone-Away World. It's not that silly and it is written to be funny at parts, but there are some crazy things that happen at the end of the book which are written about in all seriousness (something about mimes and ninjas fighting this big corporation, I don't remember exactly). Again, as far as I'm concerned, there's no harm in writing ridiculous stories. Do you think yourself incapable of writing in a more lighthearted/humour style?

My parents always told me that the biggest way to offend them and sort of piss on everything they've done for me is to keep my room messy. I think I'm messy, when I'm at home and I'm feeling too lazy to clean, but then when I go over to a friend's house that is, well, not as neat as mine, and i end up making a bit of a mess I'll always clean up what I did and even just the area around it so it's neater than what it was originally. Blah, I dunno. I guess we'll have to see when I move out. Which I'm not really planning on doing so soon (thank you, conveniently placed university).

From: (Anonymous)

Hell, the bus doesn't even go to wal-mart,
egads, what? You, err, you guys don't have a Staples or Grand N Toy or anything there either? Or maybe just a mall? Well, I dunno, you've probably looked over all the possibilities available to you so I suppose I can't say.

I wouldn't be surprised if you had nightmares of scrolls and ancient texts burning in fires, honestly.
Ooh, this is kind of off topic, but I haven't heard of anyone mention Alexandria in ages. Suddenly, I find myself wanting to buy the newest version of Civilization and build all the seven wonders for myself (I played those games all the time, when I was younger. Oh man).

Truthfully, I don't even know where half the authors I read come from (unless it's really obvious). They sell medieval stuff at your used book store? I hear you going on about this used book store of yours and man, it sounds like a party. The one I've been to doesn't have a great selection but it's pretty alright, I can't hate a place that lets me buy Crime & Punishment for $4 (my copy of The Brothers Karamazov was like. . . $30+ which, is, well. Yeah :| why oh why do I do these things )

Blech as in he only focuses on the boring bits or nothing interesting happens or he rambles on about mundane things like doorknobs? Oi, the fact that you had to read it for a class probably only made it worse, eh? (though if I had picked up a book that I didn't even like I'd probably make myself finish it. I can't bring myself to just quit a book, even if it makes me want to punch cute things).

How old is Fort Mac, even? My only impression of it has ever been "people who work in the oil industry live here," more or less (sorry!). Calgary's damn young too, and I don't even know when people started to move here (I'm not sure how we got one million people in here when not even one hundred years ago it could've still been called "the middle of nowhere"). I should probably go and learn about my own city a bit, ff.
Oh, and I should also add that all those old things just look real damn nice, too. I mean, maybe not so much buildings have been standing since 100 BC, but all those buildings say, err, after the Renaissance (I could be wrong with my time periods) are just so ridiculously ornate and pretty. Sure, modern architecture can be nice and all, but I still don't think it's quite as breath taking as seeing a ceiling painted with the angels and saints (or whatever). Ah, just me.

Well, you posted them now~ so many deer aetjoiatje SO ADORABLE. You got some real gorgeous photos too, it kind of makes me want to post my own dump for whenever I end up going to the mountains next (though that would probably be when there's snow everywhere).

I guess my problem is that even if I'm pretty well rounded, most of my ships are pretty rare. Actually, I don't even think they're that rare, it's just that only US/UK, Prussia/Austria, and Spain/Romano are posted. Yet when you ask people from the meme their favourite ships or their favourite rare ships, a lot of people will bring up the same ship that isn't being posted. Come on guys, stop avoiding the main comm and post there so I can have something to enjoy ;___;

Oooh, I remember them posting all that to the front. I never really paid attention to what it was all about cause I got everything from the kink aid. You guys have got it tough. I kind of feel compelled to post something there now, what with all the requests and stuff. Shame that people just keep bitching about it, the kink meme should be a happy place. A happy place not filled with requests that are five paragraphs long (I can forgive someone elaborating if they think their request will be misunderstand but having a story already that you just want someone to put into words is weak).

From: (Anonymous)

I enjoyed them, at least. And by recent I mean after the last post the kink aid made. I don't think my expectations are all that high for fic sometimes because I care much more about the ideas/characterization more than the actual story writing, but I still think they were genuinely good fills. I swear the writer is the same for a lot of them, judging by the way she writes "Sweden-Speak" and she keeps mentioning certain attributes or using certain descriptions that I don't hear often elsewhere. ahhh I don't usually try and friend people whose work I admire. I dunno, not because I think their intimidating (not usually) but I'm too worried I'll come off as. .. I'm not sure. Just something not good.

HOHOHO YES I DID YES I DID.
I think all those comments were a sign that there are quite a lot of Baltic fans around, but they just don't make themselves known because all that there is is, of course, Russiarape.

Well, I could explain. It's just me being silly and awkward. For all I know I could comment, under my user name on here and you could go a-lurkin on my lj and find out it's me. You finding out my user would probably cause me to run under a bridge in embarrassment and shame and would also result in me saying sorry a lot and a bunch of really stupid stuff aeiotjaeoitj orz doesn't even cover it. Ah, I dunno, I'm probably worried that you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore or I've done something somewhere that gave you a bad impression of me (which is probably absurd, I know, but my paranoia knows no bounds).

I've been in fandom, but these things are really only common in Japanese based fandoms (not so much in other ones, I don't think you're going to hear anyone calling a Doctor Who character tsundere). England used to be one of my favourites but the fandom keeps on focusing on his tsundere side and his Britannia Angel side and his Pirate side and his drunken waiter side (all of which I tihnk are fine as long as they aren't the focus, they're fun sides to the character because they're typically OOC) and I'm just all, "where is my stuffy, stiff upper-lipped British gentlemen?!" It's probably wrong to wish that I wish he was portrayed as more stereotypically British by the fandom, isn't it? I just can't see someone's version of England as "England" unless I can see him in a typical British comedy (and truth be told, I could easily see the canonstrips!England like that so I guess it's not too bad of a judgment)?
dude, there is no harm in you babbling here. I thought we established this.
:D

I was just getting my imagination get to the best of me, really. Maybe I'll draw the epic showdown between Edward and Estonia one day, after I'm done drawing 5000 other things.

Your lj tells me that today was your first day of class. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

I'M REALLY SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG. arghhh I was barely home last week (I couldn't stay up to type a reply either, I had to get off at like, nine thirty because of how early I had to wake up) and, err, I could only type bits of this reply up at a time. Okay, excuse excuses I know but I'm sorry nevertheless.

I will never get bored of your babbling, just so you know ♥

From: (Anonymous)

I JUST REALIZED I GOT THE SUBJECT WRONG (WHAT IS THIS "SORRY, BUT" DOING THERE)

FORGIVE ME ;____;

From:

yuuago

Well, I frequently do check for white text, because a lot of people use it. But if you use whitetext, I'll probably mistake you for whitetext binary anon, especially because nowadays she doesn't always use binary *flail* But I guess that's all part of talking to anonymouses. Anonymi. Whatever.

You're probably right - Iiii probably wouldn't have caught you under any other condition. Or maybe I would have. I'll have you know, I'm going to be stalking wip threads from now on, trying to find you. :| It's a game, in a way. Hah. <3 Anyway, you know, that thing you mention about how not being covered up makes you more uncomfortable - yes, yes, I'm much like that as well. It drives my parents nuts. Unless I'm out running, I refuse to wear shorts, and I generally prefer to wear long sleeves as well. "AREN'T YOU TOO WARM?!" Well, sometimes, but I'd be warm regardless, and anyway, lightweight cotton even with long sleeves is much better than the short-sleeved polyester nonsense that my parents are always buying me. And I feel very uncomfortable when I'm exposed. I just need to cover up. Maybe it's weird, but I don't care much, so people should just stfu about it, far as I'm concerned.

When it comes to RP, to be honest I don't read much of it at all, and especially not the big ones like - as you mentioned - truth or dare etc. For the most part they're just dull now, and the dares are certainly er, not the sort of thing I'm interested in. Sometimes I'll participate with Truth if I'm really bored, but that's about it. A lot of the RP that goes on now just... doesn't interest me, at all. So I'm just kind of floating around, thinking, "... Righto, then. Whatever".

Hah, Duplo popped up again recently, not sure if you saw that. Anyway, I tend to miss him too - wouldn't have known about his recent appearance at all if Icy hadn't messaged me all, "Dude, he showed up, GO GO GO". Nngh, if only he showed up more. That's really the only times I play nowadays, is when he's around. I just -- I don't know. Guess I'm in some sort of slump.

Holy shit, it was part 50 when you were writing this... man, am I ever slow. And lazy. Then again, school has been stressing me out, so there we are. But anyway, I guess you're right, it's still hard to tell when it will slow down. It's quite active during the evenings, but for much of the day it is not - the "dead hour" is getting extended, because of the periods when the North Americans are at school. Mind, a lot of the time I'm home during that hour, but at least the Euroanons are around then, and that suits me fine. And it's nice to be able to go to school and come back and not have a zillion new pages to read. Maybe just one or two. And a lot of the content is actually just spam anyway, so catching up doesn't take a lot of effort.

~~There's nothing wrong with a little madness. Shush, you.~~

Anyway, yeah. I'd suggest trying to spend less time trying to make sense of the crazy things fangirls do, because really, you ain't gonna come to any logical conclusion, darlin'. People are just plain weird. However, when you put it that way, it does seem logical that people would have such feelings toward fictional women (or real women for that matter) due to their own insecurities. Otherwise, well - what logical reason would there be for someone to express such hate toward someone or something that doesn't actually matter?

Of course, this goes for things related to fiction and fandom in general, too. I don't know how many times I've run into, say, Harry Potter shipping-related nonsense on fandomsecrets and found myself thinking that these people must be crazy in some way because of all the absolute hate that they toss at each other. Sometimes it gets absolutely venomous, and I can't see why someone would put the effort into all that hate (I do feel that actively hating something does take effort) unless they themselves had unresolved issues/insecurities of some sort.

Edited Date: 2009-09-25 09:50 am (UTC)

From:

yuuago

"You've got more freedom when the ship isn't canon"
You know, for a while, I was unable to figure out why I prefer non-canon pairings. You just hit the nail right on the head. It might also be why I like minor characters. There is just so much freedom there in terms of what has happened to them previously and what can happen to them in the future, and as far as pairings go, the options are wide open - if you're skilled, you can make almost anything work, and in almost any circumstance that you want. I guess I just don't like being tied down or wedged in by someone else's rules. This might be because I'm so used to writing original fiction; I'm used to being the one who decides what's what. (Hmm, maybe this is why I find characters like the Nordics so appealing - not a lot to go on there).

.. Anyway. I do agree with you, that it's so friggin' annoying when people say non-canon stuff shouldn't be shipped. As far as I'm concerned, not-canon stuff is part of the point of fan-anything, but particularly fanfic. It's taking something and then expanding on it. Canon isn't a jigsaw puzzle; it's more like building blocks.

Moving on. o Weiss Kreuz. Pfft. That series is SO TERRIBLE, but I love it any way, even now. There were some parts that were really awesome, in a ridiculous sort of way. As for my fanfiction, well, since it's still up and all, I guess I'll just link it. Here. Ohgods. SO BAD. And some of it is just... oh god. But in my defense, I was pretty young, and it was a really long time ago. The earliest stuff - some of the Digimon fic - some of that was written almost ten years ago. Shit, now I feel old. Looking back on it, I find that sometimes it actually wasn't too bad, or sometimes the idea was okay but just executed very badly (badly written). One thing that does please me, though, is that I was pretty damn prolific. Looks like nothing has changed in that regard.

You definitely shouldn't be surprised that MLP fic exists, though I can't say how active the fandom actually is with regards to fic (fanart, on the other hand... there's a lot of it). The vast majority is low-rated, from what I've seen. Anyway, I'm friends with some fellow collectors who write fic, and I've read a little bit. It was all right. Most of it is based on the 80s cartoon, so if you aren't familiar with it or can't remember exactly what went on, stuff is a little bit hard to follow. As far as MLPFandom goes, I'm definitely more into the collecting and restoring part than the other stuff - as are, it seems, the majority of people involved.

Anyway. Fables, well - I'll get around to it eventually, as with a squillion other things. Now that you mention you haven't read Maus, I don't feel as bad about not having read Maus yet. I mean, I know it's one of the major important works in western comics, but man... I just don't have the time! But it is on my bookshelf for when I do have the time. Argh, I have so many things that I haven't gotten around to. Most of the library that I have in my apartment is unread stuff! I just don't have time during the school year.

The comics as literature class was AWESOME. The professor was a bit of a wingnut, but the class itself was great. We covered... hmm, let's see. Here are the titles: Satrapi's "Persepolis", Jansson's "Moomins", Oakley's "Thieves and Kings", Bechdel's "Fun Home", Barry's "One Hundred Demons", Tezuka's "Buddha", and probably some other things that I can't remember. For the ones that were a series (Buddha, Thieves&Kings etc) we usually only covered one volume. Mostly we just studied them the same way that we would any other literature, though we also took a close look at the artwork and the role it played - for example panel arrangement, or the use of dialogue or no dialogue, etc. The professor actually didn't know a whole lot about comics; she specialized in children's literature, especially picture books.

From:

yuuago

...Oh gods. Arguments of PSP vs PS. I remember all that nonsense. The arguments could get quite ridiculous (I remember them at Deviantart and such) and it's just... whatever. People insisting that PSP couldn't be any good, that PS was far better, what kind of idiot would use PSP, pfft. And people would try to use photomanipulations and such to prove their point that PS was superior, and I find myself thinking... how does that even work? Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't Photoshop by its very design more suited to manipulating photographs? And I just -- honestly. The only tools I use on the rare occasions that I do digital colouring are layers and the paintbrush at various opacity. Why bother pirating some huge program when I can use something smaller and simpler? But ahhh, sometimes the internet is just one big pissing contest. Whatever.

I'm pretty sure that when I started getting interested in digital stuff, I was running a computer that couldn't handre torrents. And/or I didn't know that they existed (entirely possible). I was 14/15 or so, and not very computer literate. Anyway, IIRC, at the time that we bought PSP it was around $80 CAD, whereas Photoshop was... gods, I don't even know. Some ridiculous price. My mum looked at the PS price and was like "HELL NO" but I didn't care much because I knew that PSP was okay too, haa.

Hmm, I dunno. In my case, I switch colours so often when I'm blending that it's just a pain in the ass - moving back and forth between layers and colours in the program, whereas in real life I can just grab another pencil. And issues with precision as well - though I guess that would be easier with a tablet. As with the dominant hand thing, yes. Sigh, at one point, I did want a tablet, but... even when I did draw a lot, I never felt like using the computer often enough to justify it, and now I hardly do it at all, so there we are. Though I must admit having one to piss around with would be pretty ace.

And yes, I have gotten people saying that sort of thing regarding photoshop and my colouring, etc. Pisses me off so much. Most of these comments came from back when I still posted stuff at Deviantart and Elfwood, IIRC. Argh, people don't know anything, but thinking about it still pisses me off. (And don't even get me started on the dude that said my art looked "amateurish" because I like to use bright colours...)

Anyway. YES. URSULA VERNON. Eee~ Yeah, she's the one who drew the pear (I remember the pear from before it was a meme. Go me!). Her weird fruit is awesome and when I have the money (someday) I want to get prints of all of it. Right now I only have one print, this one - one of the limited edition sizes, huge, signed and everything. I'm hugely fascinated with plague doctors so when I saw that she painted that one, I just had to have it. I've been following her work for years, and man, it keeps getting better.

With drawing... mostly it's the finished things that take forever. The ones I want to colour, I mean. With those ones I set out intending to start something and finish it. But no matter what I do it never turns out right. Way back I either didn't notice when things looked wrong, or I didn't care, but now I notice and it bothers me. I do scribble and stuff when I have time, but it seems nothing changes much, and in the end I still hate everything. Aaa, at this point, I'm just ready to stop with it, because it does nothing but make me discouraged.

With writing, it's hard to say. People do say "just write, write about anything" but I find that difficult because it's extremely hard for me to write some throw-away paragraph with no point to it. I need some sort of end to work to. But when I do have an idea, I write it, and I keep it even if it turns out to be crap. The thing is that even if something is crap, sometimes you can salvage it by editing the hell out of it. Mediocre prose can be minimalized into prose-poetry and sometimes the effect is great. Or with poetry, one can take the lines, rework them, change it into something that's okay. It's a lot easier with shorter stuff - if I had to try to salvage a long story or a novel I think I would rather stab my eyes out with a fork - but it's all right.

From:

yuuago

... I also find that writing when you feel like it, and not writing when you don't feel like it, helps. Forcing oneself to write just turns out awful stuff.

Anyway, okay, I think I get you now. And mnh, Iceland as a duplicate of Norway? You've seen that in fic? Mann. I wonder where people got that idea. Looking at the source material, I can't see it at all. Ah, well, no matter. Speaking of source material - now that we have more of it (OMG YAY) I think I might be able to get a better handle on everyone's character, though I do need to re-read it a few more times. Eeeee, so excited about this~

(Sidenote, pfft. I CAN MAKE ANYTHING WORK or, well, almost anything. It pleases me that you thought of me. <3 )

Moving on. *squeeze* Saa, well. I really appreciate the thought, anyway. Things are better now, but I really need to keep my eye on myself and make sure I don't slip into any more bad habits. I can't afford to have that happen again. ...If you ever need someone to talk to about this issue, like if you're having a similar problem or something, we would talk about it maybe. Just putting that out there.

About jobs - well, the amount of work was maybe the same, but the thing with the school jobs is that aside from maybe 4 hours, all of the hours per week were not set. So with set hours, it might interfere with my studying, depending on various factors. I tend to prefer stuff that is very labour-intensive with little time to sit around and do work, so I dunno. Next semester I might be able to do something of that kind, but we'll see.

Teaching was both wonderful and awful. I didn't really mind the 8:30 AM part, even though it meant I had to get up early. Mostly the thing that bothered me was that whenever I tried to get them to discuss things - because part of the point of this thing was that they would engage in discussion, you see - I was met with a class full of slack-jawed black-stares. Like cows. And of course, all the whining about how they hated everything we had to read. And many of them couldn't write a sentence to save their lives. But some of them were okay. I remember one time, toward the end of the year, a student approached me about his work. He'd gotten off to a rocky start, but had improved steadily over the year, both in terms of English (it wasn't his first language) and actually writing the papers. The final paper he handed in to me, I graded as an A, and he was just so happy and said he'd really enjoyed being in my class and that he wanted to go on and take more literature courses in the future and I just. ;~; Ahhhh I was so happy.

So. I'm not doing anything wrong? That's good to know. I still wish people wouldn't be all intimidated by me, but at least I know that it isn't because I'm a douche or something. I mean, occasionally I was a douche (usually just in chat though) but now I've learned to step away from the meme on days when I've gotten up on the wrong side of the bed so to speak, so... there we are. Sigh. Tl;dr is right, but oh man, if only they knew I ain't as smart as I seem. Oh, well. (You? Still afraid? Oh come on, darlin', don't be scared!)

When it comes to instant messengers, I do have similar problems, though it's not quite as bad because the expectation is not for something as instantaneous as real life. It does take me a while to think of something to say though. Occasionally people interpret this as me ignoring them, when really I just have no idea what to say. (Not to mention that I have a habit of wandering off during extended pauses to go do other things, like laundry, or occasionally I'll go flop on my bed while waiting for a response, and end up falling asleep while waiting for a reply, so then people again think I'm ignoring them...) Even with people I know pretty well, I have trouble thinking of something to say. In some ways though, this is partly because I have very little to talk about. Pretty much every day is exactly the same, so if I'm talking to the same person every day, I run out of things to talk about very quickly. It's frustrating, because people get pissed at me about it, act like I don't want to talk to them (had this problem with an ex, ugh) when really I literally don't have anything to talk about. Sigh. So there we are.

From:

yuuago

Original fiction - yeah. Sorry to say, if I do manage to start writing it again, I'll probably stop writing fanfiction, because I'll be distracted by another project. I can only handle so many things at once! But I do think that it will be a very long time before I'm able to start writing original fiction again, so at least I'll be sticking around for quite a while. The thing about fanfiction, I find, is that it takes a lot less effort than original fiction. Maybe it's mostly because the source material is there, and the source material is ridiculous, so I don't have to worry if my plot/characters are dumb.

Thinking back on the story with Julian now, in some ways I'm tempted to put it up somewhere, but I'm reluctant because it's dumb, unfinished, and really fucking long. Sigh. Even though I haven't worked on it for a few years, I'm still attached to it. Maybe I shouldn't be, I dunno'. Anyway, stylistically, I really don't think I can do something lighthearted/humourous. When y'get right down to it, I'm not very funny at all. I'm a serious person by nature, and when I try to write something that isn't, it falls flat. I can do romance and pathos pretty well, but some other stuff, deeeefinitely not so much.

Ugh. Mess. MESS. MY HOUSE. RIGHT NOW IT IS A MESS. You've reminded me that I need to clean up tomorrow. :| Or sometime in the next few days, anyway. There is mess all over the place, and I feel like a bum. If my mum could see this, she'd be flipping out. "WHY DON'T YOU TAKE PRIDE IN YOUR LIVING SPACE" etc etc. Sigh. Ah, well.

Nightmares about scrolls and texts burning? Honey, you are spot on. Seriously, when I read about what happened to the Beowulf manuscript, I CRIED. I really did. ... Now that I think of it, that's kind of pathetic, but there it is. I guess it's just that I love dusty old things so much, and I wish we could preserve them forever, and alas, no. And to think that a part of them might be lost forever, ahhhhh. It's so sad.

They do sell medieval stuff at the used bookstore here! Well, there are actually two that I go to - the White Cat, which is downtown, and Westgate, which is bigger but more difficult to get to. They both have rather sizeable medieval sections probably because medieval literature and history is taught at the university, right, so that's where (I would guess) the vast majority of it comes from. The prices aren't always ace, but for the most part I don't care so much; I'm just happy to be able to find it. I mean, the only place I can usually get this stuff is online, and sometimes I can't even find it online... so there we are. I'm not used to living somewhere where things are so easily available; Fort Mac is Fort Mac, and Wolfville was so tiny that you couldn't really find anything at all.

Boyden - If I recall correctly (it has been a year, so I might remember wrong) I think the main problem is that stylistically, he was trying to be artsy, and failed at it, instead coming out rather bland. It was like biting into a sandwich that looked pretty good, but really just tasted like sawdust.

Anyway, Fort Mac - the place has been around since the early 1900s, but it wasn't until the 80s that it became a city. It didn't start to get big until 2000, and after I left in 2004, that's when it really started to explode. Don't feel bad about the whole "people who work in the oil industry live here" thing, because it's completely true. Either you're there because you work in oil or you're there because your parents work in oil. At the first opportunity, people get out. That's how it is.

I agree with you on the matter of architecture. Old stuff is so beautiful. Even things that have been around since the medieval period, which isn't exactly known for being gorgeous, have a quiet beauty about them. And the thing about modern stuff is, it might look pretty slick, but it just doesn't seem built to last. It doesn't even look solid. Seems like everything is made of glass and clapboard. 'specially when you compare it to stuff like the Old Town in Tallinn or the medieval buildings at Visby or whatever (these ones, just on my mind because I was looking at photos today, ahh). Feh, maybe I'm just biased, I don't know.

From:

yuuago

Aha, so you did see my Waterton photos~ good thing I finally got them up. I think I might go take more photos when the leaves start to turn a bit more. The residential streets are gorgeous here, 'cause the streets are all lined with elm trees, right. Totally beautiful. Of course, I wouldn't want to clean up after that, because the leaves litter people's lawns thick as a '70s shag carpet, but whatever. It's pretty.

Main comm. alskdfj. You mentioning that reminds me that I should do a post there this month. I just feel like I should. Get some of my weird stuff out there. I have enough stuff that I'm satisfied with, that I could probably do one post per month, hah.

About the kink meme, yeah, that's how it was done. New system is... convoluted. But I can't think of a better way to do it, so there it is. In all, even though it has plenty of problems, I'm still happy it's there, because my writing didn't really take off until I started doing fills. It's just that the requests - both format and volume - frustrate me sometimes. Little things. Argh, I really wish they would at least put pairing + kink in the subject line; it would make updating the Baltic index so much easier. I have to go through manually because the kink-aid hasn't been updating, and having to read through requests to see if it's relevant is just... alskdfj. Would rather not. :|

I read one or two of the ones you were referring to, and you're right, pretty good. Stylistically, there are so many similarities that I wouldn't be surprised if it was the same person. Now I really wonder who it is, and if I wasn't so lazy (and if it wouldn't be creepy) I'd go about comparing and trying to figure it out, oho. But, I am very lazy, so there we are. I still like knowing, though. Ahhh... Mostly when I friend someone whose work I love, it's because we have other things in common too, or because we've had awesome comment threads that have gotten way off-topic. I dunno, I just like getting to know people.

You're probably right about the Baltic fans + Russiarape thing. Though the kink index requests indicate a tendency toward a preference for that, I do know (certainly) that a lot of Baltic fans won't touch that, eugh. It's just that they tend to be rather quiet. It all makes me want to write more genfic, to be honest. Baltic genfic is like candy to me, and there's never enough of it. (And come to think of it, a loooong time ago I had an idea for a genfic featuring both the Nordics and the Baltics, and never ended up writing it... maybe I should)

Whoa. Paranoid is right. Well, if you feel that way, allrighty then. But I'd like to stress that I don't judge, and rarely have bad impressions of people (and if I do have one, it only lasts five minutes before I forget it. Gods know I can't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning, how could I remember something like that...) <3

Right now I'm so tired that I cannot brain at all so I will just say that I agree with everything you said about England and people being dumb with regards to the portrayal of his character, and shall leave it at that. And I realize that we established that babbling is good, but I guess it's instinctual to apologize for it, because I've had instances in the past where people have told me to STFU or have given off vibes that indicate they wish that I would STFU and for this reason I tend to feel that I should just... STFU.

after I'm done drawing 5000 other things
Seems your list of things to do is as long as mine. Gods know I don't even want to think of how many things I need to write, especially since many of them will be longfic. Sigh. Where am I going to find time for this with school going on, I do not know...

Hah, here you are apologizing for taking a long time, and I'm going to apologize for that as well. Gahhh. I didn't mean to let it go for so long, but I kept running into homework, and then there was the presentation I had to do and -- well. I'm sure you know how it is. I'm always so exhausted nowadays, ahhhh. Well, I'd best get used to it.

By the way, I spellchecked this because I love you. ;p (And because I realize how bad my spelling is sometimes and was getting a bit embarrassed about it, but that is not the point)

From: (Anonymous)

's kind of weird, though. I don't want to point myself out every time i talk to you in whatever way cause it almost seems obnoxious, but at the same time there is something very aggravating about talking to someone you've become acquainted with and just not having the other person recognize you. Is this how it feels to be Canada? D:
I won't be appearing in lots of WIP threads for the next little while cause like I said, school. (I'm not on the meme on most days, meaning, if I want to get to bed at a respectable time that night I don't go on it at all that day. sob ;___; i think that actually not going on the meme is a lot easier than getting off it once you're on it, but I digress). Maybe I'll start making it harder for you and start posting WIPs of the Asians. If I ever figure out how the hell you draw them, anyways.

I can't blame people for thinking it's weird, I suppose it is, but really now, it's a quirk that's not weird enough to actually call attention to. The weather's getting colder now, so I at least have an excuse haha (it was so warm over here for way too long, last week it got up to 30 degrees!). With the weather getting colder I find my overall mood improving which is a bit contrary to how everyone else tends to feel, but hey. I can't help being painfully Canadian (or would it be more Canadian to bitch about the cold?)

Indeed, indeed. I feel a bit bad complaining about it, cause I know that lots of anons are still really into it but ahh. I miss plots to the RP. There's so much influence over the RPers now, it's hard for them to stick to, err, a sort of natural progression with their RP, I guess? Not to mention there's just sometimes too much of it and I don't know what to follow and what to not follow and, well, you know.

Maybe I did, my memory of the meme is getting pretty hazy, haha. pfff you're always in one slump, or another.

I've given up on thinking that the meme may slow down to maybe, I don't know, four day maxings. It probably won't slow down until the "next big thing" fandom-wise comes around. Till then, dead hour will be my favourite hour ♥ (cause even that isn't painfully slow or anything, it's a nice pace. Not to mention, it's when the Euroanons are on! ♥). I don't really want the next big thing to come around just yet, cause even if I can't handre how the fandom is now, it's still better than it being dead methinks.

~~It would be terribly hypocritical of me to argue. we're all a bit mad, here~~

But but maybe I've got some crazy complex in me that's telling me I can ~help them~? and that i can't do that unless I understand them?? Ah, well, I probably wouldn't be able to help them anyways. They'll either grow up and grow out of it or end up being miserable for the rest of their lives. You never feel better after spewing hate.

From: (Anonymous)

WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL ARGUING OVER HARRY POTTER SHIPS ARGHH IT'S SO REDUNDANT AND DUMB AND CAPSLOCK CANNOT EVEN EXPRESS HOW MUCH IT BEWILDERS ME SO. Well, probably because all the R/Hr and G/H shippers are being as smug as hell, but seriously. I will never understand why people want to bring so much negativity to something that should be uniting people together. I mean, if I'm shipping something you don't like, it's not like I'm insulting you. Ich, craziness. I don't think I've even seen those kinds of shipping rivalries in the Hetalia fandom, though I'll admit I've seen people get put down for shipping something. I'm not talking about being put down because you think Russia/Lithuania is truluv<3 ^___^, but more of. . . UK/Japan shippers minding their own business, and then getting a few mean comments from others (luckily the insulted members were mature about it and were just all "whatever")

Yesss, there's more fun in the subtext. Not to mention, if a ship becomes canon, then you can say goodbye to all those fun "getting together" stories~ (which I'm totally a sucker for, I think I love the tension in getting two people together more than what they might be feeling while in an actual relationship. Of course, to each their own, that's just me haha). I do like having lots of canon for characters, though. I like it when a relationship between two people is touched upon more (I'm probably talking platonic canon relationships, though) or when you just get more info on any character. The author sometimes comes up with things about said characters that most fans wouldn't think of, so then to tie those little things along with your own fanon is ahhh so fun. and makes for a more fully fleshed out character! (which is, idk, what makes hetalia even more fun if you don't mind me saying so haha. You've got canon characterization + other stereotypes of said nation already + history + fanon. funfunfun) IF THAT MAKES ANY SENSE. I'm tired, alright? D:
My whole love of the Nordics probably isn't determined by how much (or little) characterization they've gotten. I mean, at first I wasn't even very into them. Ohh boy, I even remember asking myself what could be the appeal of characters that had little to no characterization :| How things change.

Canon isn't a jigsaw puzzle; it's more like building blocks.
Can I high-five you for that? Simply because it's so ridiculously true. Man, maybe I shouldn't say this, but I think it's weird when someone lists all their ships, and all of those said ships are canon ships.
(I don't think I could make a list of what I shipped, though. I swear what I ship changes every day, and not to mention I'm pretty sure I like a good deal of those pairs more when there's no romance involves, that is, I'd rather the characters be friends or frenemies or whatever).

I have moved on to bigger and better things
That. . . that sounds so mean! pff but you're writing fanfic again so where's your ~bigger and better~ now? But daaamn, you wrote all the way back in '00! That's crazy! . . . Please don't tell me that times flies. I couldn't really get to read any of it, simply because I had no idea what the hell was going on. The only thing I could maybe sort of recognize was Digimon, but I watched that when I was like, seven and eight and I don't remember anything from it. I think there was a dude with goggles?

The My Little Pony fandom's got to be a fandom of many extremes. I can imagine there being innocent, pure and fluffy fanart and then, well, err, let's move on away from that subject.
I didn't even really think collecting counted as being into a fandom (and what do you mean by "restoring" if you don't mind me asking?) I've got someone else on my flist, and she posted some of her MLP collection and jesus christ, forgive my ignorance, but I didn't even know there were that many different My Little Pony figures in the world!

From: (Anonymous)

You know what I hate about actually getting around to reading stuff? It's that whenever I do have time to go and read a book or a comic or what have you, I completely forget that I've got stuff to read. So what happens is that I end up dicking around on the computer for a few hours and then when I look to the books on the nightstand by my bed I want to smack myself. Luckily I haven't got that many unread books lying around at the moment, but the unread books I've got lying around are pretty long, and that's a bit intimidating. I find longer books intimidating, during the times when I find myself not reading so much. For the first four or five months of '09 I had a ton of reading mojo and found myself just plowing through a ton of books, and long books weren't nearly as scary then. Then my reading spree came to an end while reading The Picture of Dorian Grey which somehow took me twice as long to read as most books thrice it's size. Ahh I dunno. Have you ever read that book? I was expecting to enjoy it more than I actually did :(

ahhh now you're going and making me all jealous with that class ;___; don't tempt me into doing English, man. Well, you probably won't be able to, but iaojaotej whata class.

But but Paint Shop Pro wasn't even made for photo editting?? Not in the way Photoshop was, at least. And I mean, it all depends on what you're using it for. I can't diss SAI or something with regards to how well the watercolour tool blends colours by saying "you can't do photo manips with i!!!" cause dude, that doesn't even have anything to do with what you're using it for.

I remember checking the price for Photoshop around '02, '03 or something, and I think it was well around six hundred dollars. I think SAI goes for about $40 though and I should probably shut up about that program already but it is the love of my life, if you can't tell already. SAI/Photoshop is my otp.

that's why you make palettes and use the eyedropper tool buddy :)
Having a tablet to piss around with is really nice too. Just to doodle whatever the hell. And you know what's also great about tablets? You don't get the materials all over the side of your hands. Man, sometimes when I start doodling in school, I find myself at the end of the day and the entire side of my hand has gotten all grey from the graphite rubbing off on to my skin, from the paper. Well, this happens when I'm alone at home drawing something nice too, but sometimes having half of your hand shaded in really confuses people.

And don't even get me started on the dude that said my art looked "amateurish" because I like to use bright colours...
WHAT. WHAT. WHAT THE HELL. DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THAT, EITHER. He didn't even say that to me and I find myself ~raging on the inside~ because goddamn, that is one hell of a stupid thing to say. As if people who've been making a living of art for decades don't use bright colours, ever, nope.
(. . .seriously ???????)

hahah aww. did you meet her when you got it signed, or was there some kind of deal at her site going on? I'd bet that a house that had her work all over it would be quite an, err, eccentric kind of house indeed. Does she have any prints bigger than 13x19? Cause that's not overly huge, I think. Or maybe my mental-ruler is failing me and I should go use the ruler that's right in front of me to figure it out. . . I'm just thinkin' it'd be nice to have a HUGE picture of a smiling pear up on my wall, 's all. Or maybe the bighorned pear, because for some reason that actually made me go buhyooo. Mind you, I don't buhyoo too often ~~because I have no soul~~

Well it makes me wonder, how often do you draw anyways? Like, every day just a little thing every few days or. . .? Don't be discouraged ;___; the only road you're on is the road of IMPROVEMENT, which might be a rocky road with lots of bumps and cracks but I assure you that you'll see some wonderful scenery on the waaaaaaayyyyyohhh god remind me never to be a motivational coach /headdesk seriously though quitting is just not cool. not that i'm telling you to make it your number one priority but ah, well, don't stop ~~believing~~ yeah? :)

From: (Anonymous)

you know who else I just sounded like up there? those annoying kids who try to make you go out for school sports even when you tell them you don't want to :|

Touche, I guess. Maybe all the people who live by that advice are just 50 years old and they've gotten so into the habit or writing every day that to not do it anymore would be like forgetting to breath or whatever. Or maybe missing breakfast.
aotjaoijt make it into prose poetry? Goddamn man, it's not like poetric language is easy for all of us! The very notion of writing such a thing makes me grip at my heart in fear. I would say that the grass is a bit dry and it is giving good old man Bob a rash as he sits on it (okay, I might phrase it better than that but you know what I mean). You, on the other hand, would find a way to make that sound pretty and flower-y and I will be left scratching my head, baffled and asking, how the hell did you manage that.

His characterization certainly read like that, sometimes. I don't really know if I've seen him portrayed like that in art, because at times him and Norway having the same expression might just be for the sake of symmetry. and IOAJRHIAOJROAW NEW SOURCE MATERIAL ♥ Oh, god, when that I was posted I swear to you that I was having the worst day ever, and then that gets posted (I think that all of the recent Nordic posts have been on my bad days, if I recall correctly? Hidekaz, how do you do this). Ahhh they're so wonderful together. Finland wore a sweater vest eeee. you can't convince me that the sweater vest wasn't salmiakki-patterned, nope.

Hurr, you know, I mean. . . say you start slipping into bad habits again, would you mind people (such as myself, who knows) ~~demanding~~ telling you to take a step outside or whatever? Just. . .trying to slap some sense into you, to phrase it poorly. I am terrible about talking about my problems. I don't' know if it's because of embarrassment or pride or a mix of 400 things just, yeah.

The good thing about labour intensive work is that it at least tires you out, increasing the chances of someone going to bed at a proper time. Not that it's a guaranteed thing, but it's nice to actually feel tired at night, I think.

These classes, were they first year university students? You know, people who paid god knows how much to be taking those courses? Or were they highschool or something. That little story of the student is adorable, though. It sort of reminds me of how much we usually forget how much that kind of stuff might mean to teachers. Its hard thinking of ways to show teachers that you appreciate them, or at least it is to me. Just talking to them, maybe? Ahh, I know I probably talk enough with say, the Social Studies teachers at my school. Seriously though, the Social teachers at my school are just ajetoiajet wonderful.
I don't think I'd mind teaching, though probably not as a job. Just maybe every so often, or just come and teach a class. I'm good with the whole public speaking thing and I usually end up making people laugh when speaking in front of others, which is a good sign I think? That's how it's been with presenting projects though I guess there'd be a difference in actually giving a lecture or what have you.

I don't even know what you mean by being a douche other than you using :|
Can't say about the chat thing cause I dont' go in there that often and I've maybe seen you --HAHAHA NEVERMIND THAT I GUESS YOU FIGURED OUT ME OUT AFTER ALL. ahh hopefully I don't come off as, um, someone you don't want to talk to on there orz orz orz I'm almost tempted to rename my journal to xldoubledouble or doubledouble or something like that, I've been aching for a new lj handle for well over a year now pff

Okay, even if you insist that you're not as smart as you may seem, there's no reason they should know that~

From: (Anonymous)

Falling asleep while waiting for a reply? Oh god, I'm sorry, but that made me laugh i'm laughing with you, not at you, I swear. That's oddly endearing, 's all. I guess if it comes down to it, you can just blame a reply on a slow typing speed, but then again I'm pretty sure most people in fandom have a typing speed of at least 60 WPM, unless they're 13. Far as finding stuff to talk about, oh man, I think online I sort of resort to talking about myself, and I worry I might do it too much? To be honest I don't like talking about myself, but I find that doing so helps make conversation (cause unlike in real life, I can't just point at something and be all "ohohoh why is that old lady jumping over a seven foot fence" which actually happened as I was getting a ride home this week). I do totally get what you mean by having nothing to talk about, it's why I don't message my good friends every day (err, I mean, not that I message them much anyways seeing how I can still worry about being a bother to people I've been friends with since kindergarten but whatever).

Alright, so, err, say you get your original fiction mojo back in about a month and three days (don't argue that it can't happen, for who knows what the future has in store), does that mean you'll be quitting fandom in general? I'm not talking about the fic writing part, but the whole talking about it and spazzing over new Nordic strips and and and _{please don't' leave us ;___;}. At the very least, fandom does provide you with practice? It's better than being in an original fiction slump and not writing anything at all for months on end.

When you say that it's really fucking long, you must tell me: how long is really fucking long? Hurr, I think I have the opposite problem. I find lighthearted/whimsical sort of writing comes so much more easier than serious. Or, well, maybe not serious but if I'm doing something seriously it won't ever be flowery. Then again, I'm a pretty silly person. Though I'm a strange silly person in that I'm not playful at all. You're probably more playful than I am, pff. :| :| :| :| :| :|

I'd tell you to clean your mess but I don't think you're home right now. Because you're in Edmonton lol. Tell me, was it snow-y there? I went to Okotoks for thanksgiving and aoetjaot they've got a ton of snow there! I mean, for this time of year. It looks like late November.

:') We've all got things we get sensitive about, illogical as it may be.
Mm, I don't care about those medieval manuscripts, certainly not in the way you do, but I still find that to be a depressing thought nevertheless. Something just being lost forever doesn't sit well with me.

Oh, so I take it that stuff like medival literature and all isn't something that is taught at most universities (is this why you decided to go to the university of Saskatoon?) Ahh, did either Fort Mac or Wolfville have a decent sized library (or a few?). Or is it like this one little library here in Calgary, which has less square feet than my house (and I don't live in a big house).

I was going to ask you what was so, well, trying-to-be-artsy about his writing, but then I realized that could really mean anything and that it's probably more of a you'll-know-it-when-you-see-it sort of deal. You know though, I don't even know how similar our tastes are ahaha (I do respect your opinion for this stuff though, most certainly). Also! Well, we have a choice to read either The Wars by Timothy Findley or The Stone Carvers by Jane Urquhart for English this year, and I was wondering if you had read either novel, or at least something from either author?

:｡･:*:･ﾟ'☆

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