[Fanfic] Sightless

[yuuago]

fyretoppaaa made me write this. 8| Damn her, exploiting my glasses fetish....

Title: Sightless
Pairing: Sweden/Estonia
Rating: 15+
Warning: Artsy pseudo-poetic erotic stuff. Also: Unbeta'd.
Summary: During a sleigh ride, Estonia reflects on the progression of their relationship.
Time period: ~17th century. I think.
Note: I know I'm supposed to be taking a break from Eesti, but I just had to write this. Couldn't resist. Fyre insisted - and I also like the idea of them. Hadn't really considered them before (outside completing the third side of the Sweden/Finland/Estonia triangle, I mean)



Sightless

The air was cool and crisp. The sky was bright, but the sun gave little warmth, covered as it was by thin clouds that let loose fluffy, drifting flakes upon the still world. They fell lazily, setting on the ground and in the branches of tall black pine trees. Occasionally a breeze would stir them from their place and make them rise into the air again before trailing downward.

Amid the snow and the trees a sound could be heard. At first it took the form of faint, barely audible thuds, but soon it could be distinguished as the sound of hoof beats.

A jay heard the approaching noise from his perch on a pine bough. He looked up, called out, then took wing as the source came into sight: a black horse going at a brisk pace, pulling a small sleigh containing two men. Though they were bundled against the cold the air nipped at their bare faces and left their cheeks flushed.

The smaller of the two lazily watched the trees go by from where he rested curled up next to his partner, who held the reigns. He could tell by the growing familiarity of the scenery that soon their outing would come to an end. Shifting a bit, he turned his head to look at the man beside him. His partner glanced at him, then wordlessly looked again at the road ahead. Once he would have found the silence troubling, but now he was familiar enough with his quiet companion that he could see the tenderness in those cool, pale eyes and the unspoken affection that rested there. Pleased with this, he nestled closer to him and pressed his face against his shoulder, burying his face in the heavy black coat, not caring that the action made his spectacles press uncomfortably against the bridge of his nose.

Very soon the hours would draw short and the world would be dark, but by that time they would have arrived at their destination and would have made their way inside, away from the chilly air. Outside it would be black, and inside they would have their own darkness. For them, blindness was a matter of gestures, regardless of light or dark. It took the form of two pairs of spectacles, side by side on the night-table, carefully folded and just barely touching.

He remembered that there was once a time he would not have trusted him, would not have willingly blinded himself. The cold stares and low, rumbling voice had frightened him, and in those days he shrank away from the tall, dark figure.

Time’s work changed things. Somehow they came to understand each other. He listened to him speak, when he did chance to speak, and slowly all became clearer. He looked at him in earnest and eventually could detect the subtleties: a twitch at the corner of his lips, a faint softness in his eyes, tiny hints of inviting warmth. His companion observed him, too, and eventually learned to temper his coldness, to soften his expression, to enunciate. They grew attached to each other, the both of them, and from that the threads of trust were spun, soon woven into a fabric of affection.

The first night he had offered himself up to that tall, silent man his trust was not complete. The fabric was thin and the fibres imperfect. He slipped off his lover’s glasses but was unwilling to be blinded himself, protesting when he tried. When they were finished he cursed the fog that covered the lenses.

The second time, he slid off his spectacles only after instructing his lover to do so first. He refused to allow him to touch his face. He insisted they do it during the day, when the daylight made everything clearer, and by lingering close they could see each other, though all was blurred by their shared imperfect vision.

The third night that he gave himself over to him, his heart seemed to stop beating and for a moment he stopped breathing as those careful hands slid off his glasses. His own hands shook when he reached up and removed the spectacles from his lover’s face. When warm, rough lips closed over his own, he found himself trembling, though the source was not fear, but something else.

Now all had changed. Their connection was entirely different. As he rested against his lover’s side, he reflected that those days when he had been so nervous and so easily startled seemed an eternity away. Tonight in the dim fire’s light he would give in to weathered, gentle hands as he had so many times before, and they would both be silent, as they needed no words. Time and care had been taken in weaving the fabric of their closeness, that thing without a name, and there was no need to speak when the brush of fingertips could tell so much. Tonight, as every night, they would weave their trust anew. He would slide his lover’s glasses from his face, and allow him to do the same. Sightless, they would share each other, and once again he would give himself over.

A gust of cool air in his face made his eyes fly open and ripped his thoughts from him. They hadn’t arrived, not yet. They still moved through the black pines at a lively pace, the snow crunching beneath the horse’s hooves, swishing as the sleigh rushed over it. He sighed, thinking, nearly there. They were nearly there. Already the sky was already beginning to dim.

When his partner glanced at him, responding to the quiet sound, he only offered him a small smile. It broadened upon seeing the faint twitch at the corner of his lover’s mouth which hinted at a smile, a gesture as good as a grin on that one. No need to tell what he had been daydreaming about, he decided.

There was no need to speak.

He would show him tonight.

Comments

[maiiau]

You know, I never really payed much mind to the Nordic countries in Hetalia and now you're getting me attached to them, damn you. >|

Obvious solution to the triangle: threesome.

This was cute. ♥ The characterization was great as usual.

[yuuago]

Pffff haha! Excellent! All part of my plan - well, no, but anyway. I've fallen completely in love with the Nordics. I've tried to blame it on various factors, such as metal and vikings and my Canadianness and the fact that they all have snazzy outfits, but the fact is, I just love 'em, regardless of reason. (Regardless of reason because, hell, most of them haven't really shown up yet. Jesus.)

Anyway.

Your proposal for solution is pleasing and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. Mmmmm.

[hokuton_punch]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww lack-of-glasses-love. ;o; SO PRETTY. *eats up*

[amygirl.livejournal.com]

Oh gods this was just so...gorgeous and perfect. I love the silence in this, that there was no spoken dialogue and that it was not needed. And it feels very much in character neither appear to be big talkers in the canon. I admire your ability to do that since my problem writing wise is in descriptions, I tend to hide in my dialogue which I'm much more comfortable writing.

I loved the interplay with the glasses and how it connected with trust and all the rest.

*sighs happily*

Thank you for the link and I would love to read more from you about these two.

[yuuago]

I'm so glad you liked it. <3 To be honest, I tend to use dialogue as a crutch, but some stories demand a distinct lack of it... Since it's so hard to write stories without it, I'm really glad you think I pulled it off here. Though I suppose it's mostly in longer ones where it becomes a huge problem - I have a very long thing in progress right now involving two characters who hardly ever speak, and it's such a pain to write, haha.

I find the idea of trust + spectacles so interesting, and I love writing about it. Partly because it's the vulnerability, but if we go with the whole idea of glasses representing physical places in Hetalia, then it must require an enormous amount of trust to remove them in someone else's presence, or to let someone else touch them.

I hope to write more with these two over the Christmas break - I found a kink meme prompt with them, huge surprise there, so I'm going to see what I can do with it. <3

[amygirl.livejournal.com]

Hmmm....I've never thought of it that way the vulnerability of giving up the glasses if they equal a part of your nation...probably because I don't tend to subscribe to the literal body parts=parts of your nation aspect of things despite it being canon. (although I do have cracky head canon of America only going after Texas because he REALLY wanted the glasses) but yeah that's an added level to the whole mix.

Really is it a recent one? I'm surprised I didn't notice it...though there's been so many prompts coming in that I've tended to just skim over them eventually I'll go over part 8 for now I'm trying to finish up a fill that's gone Epic on me. *sighs*

[yuuago]

When I say vulnerability, mostly I'm just referring to being unable to see clearly, haha. It's part of my headcanon that Estonia has absolutely horrible eyesight.

Anyway yes, it was a recent prompt - this month, shortly before the request freeze. Something to do with the Swedish period again (no surprise there).

[amygirl.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah I totally got that but there is that added tension that someone might just walk off with a part of your country if you're not careful (just ask Mexico...) I'm torn between thinking they actually need the glasses or not. I've solved this problem by deciding that the longer they wear them the more dependent they are on them. So if someone took them they'd be really blind but if they had to deal without them for a long while their vision might just correct itself. I don't know...I tend to over think things sometimes... ;-)

Hmmm...surprised I missed it but then that's not a prompt that probably would have jumped out at me writablity wise so maybe that's why I missed it. I'll look out for the fill though if you choose to do it...

[yuuago]

I've given up trying to untangle stuff like this, for the most part, because I can never come to a conclusion. I keep changing my mind!

Whenever I finish something (kink meme or otherwise), I link it in my journal and on delicious, so chances are you'll know when it is finished. <3