Hello, word vomit.

[yuuago]

Firstly: The Canada and Norway story is coming along relatively well, even though it's going in a different direction than I had intended. It's still going to be relatively short; maybe, hmm. Five handwritten pages. Since it took so little time I think I'll continue with my break from Poland and Estonia, and write more Nordics. I kind of have an idea relating to Sweden and Norway's union of 1814 floating around. They're both difficult characters for me to write, but as I said to someone on the anon meme last night, the only way for me to get used to writing them is to write them.

Anyway. Was thinking of another discussion that went down on the anon meme last night, and it made my mind wander, so I'm going to babble a while.

There was some talk of alternate pairings with Finland. Someone came in and said that often with alternate pairings, Sweden comes out looking like an asshole (their phrasing, not mine). There was mention of character bashing and all sorts of stuff. There was specific mention of this happening in Fin/Est fics, but you know, I really haven't come across much writing with that pairing, period, and the ones I have seen don't have that stuff going on, so I... really have no idea what they were talking about.

Now, this made me recall one time (also on the anon meme) when someone mentioned that in some of my Fin/Est fics, I portray Sweden as an asshole. Again, their phrasing, not mine. Who knows, might have been the same person.

Anyway, it made me think over some of the things I've written, and I just can't see it. There are a few that might seem a bit like it if you don't look at them too deeply, though. These would be the ones that I linked to at that time - the ones the person was commenting on.

First, Stockholm Syndrome. Not the most complimentary illustration of Sweden, what with the mention of bloodstained hands and so on. But consider the narrator. Snarkybando said it well: it's not explicit whether this is Estonia being obsessive, or actual reality. The speaker here is someone talking from the position of a jealous ex-lover. He's an unreliable narrator; you can't trust him to give an unbiased opinion of what's actually going on.

Secondly, Wind Whisper. This one, I think, is closer to what the anonymous commenter was getting at with the whole "bashing" comment, though even so I feel it's a misinterpretation. This one definitely doesn't seem a sympathetic illustration of Sweden. Yet, it's not so simple when you actually pay attention to him, what he's doing and saying, and not what Finland is thinking, doing, saying. Such as here:

Large hands worked at the fastenings on his clothes. He pushed them away, snarling. “Don’t touch me!”
Sweden shook his head. “’s wet,” he said, and continued.
“What?” Finland stared at him. He was tired. His chest ached. He felt ill. The heat of the hand resting on his thigh made his skin crawl.
Sweden sighed, then took Finland’s chilled hands and pressed them to the soaked cloth. “Your clothes,” he said, taking care to enunciate. “They are wet.”
“Why...?”
“Snow.”
“Oh.”

Finland isn't exactly rational. He was just out running around in a blizzard, screaming his lungs out, and he's soaked to the bone and not thinking straight and he's misinterpreting everything that goes on, including Sweden's gestures of concern. Later on, Finland's the one that initiates all the, er, goings-on, and all the violence (both physical and images) is on his part, too. What we have here is a complete communication failure, partly because communicating with Sweden is difficult as it is, and partly because Finland is definitely having Issues here, as he's not entirely in his right mind.

It's also worth noting that this takes place relatively early in their history, so there would definitely be a lot of friction between the two - though I suppose that part isn't made explicitly clear in the writing itself. Hm.

Looking over my other writing, it's usually either Estonia or Finland who comes out looking bad, not Sweden. Gah. (Need to work on that - I don't want to make any character look bad!)

Anyway, I just. Oh, I don't know. I don't get it. *pulls at hair* For one thing, I don't quite get how someone would not get the above points - unless they were just skimming I guess. If everyone felt the same, then it would be one thing, but some of the comments I've received definitely without a doubt interpreted it the way I intended, so it can't be that I just completely failed.

Secondly, I don't get why I'm getting so defencive about this! How strange. One person says they don't like the way I write, and then it comes up again, not even in direct reference to me, and I get all flustered and upset... how odd. Why do I care so much? It's really a little ridiculous. Yet it makes me wonder if I should be less vague. If maybe I should be a bit more explicit, a bit more to-the-point. Argh, I really don't know. Really don't.

Comments

[yuuago]

Hmm-mm.
You have a lot of good points. I'll try to keep it all in mind. I do feel better now that I got all of that out - the stuff above is what I'd wanted to say last night, but restrained myself from saying - and indeed, also what I'd wanted to say the first time, but again restrained myself from saying. I don't like to make trouble, ahhh.

Normally I'm not too bothered by such things, but it's just -- it's so strange, receiving comments like that. Maybe it's just because this is my first time writing fanfiction, or indeed posting any writing publicly, in a very very long time. Not used to this sort of thing any more.

Just felt so overcome with the urge to flail and say, "No, that's not what I meant! That's not what I was trying to do at all!" Because, er, it's not what I meant, nor what I was trying to do.

And of course there is the technical side of things too: if someone so widely missed the point, it's possible that I'm Doing It Wrong. Not writing in a way that gets my point across, I mean. That's imporant because in this fandom I'm terrified of getting things wrong and having things misinterpreted....

Nngh.

I guess the only thing I can do is do my research, try to make my point clear in my writing, and try not to get too worried about people who don't like it! (Fortunately thus far the complaints have been few and far between. I'm just... silly and easily worried I guess)

On another note, I'm glad you like my writing. It always makes me feel really good, hearing that from people. ♥

[hokuton_punch]

Well, not to jump in on the sycophantic side of things, but I don't think either of those fics really count as Sweden-bashing... o.O I mean, I like Sweden in-canon too but in history-canon, no one's a saint.

I understand how you feel, anyway; I like to think I wouldn't be defensive about someone critiquing my writing but I so would be. XD I do love your vague writing, it leaves lots of nice room for interpretation and thinkings, but it probably wouldn't hurt to be a little more to-the-point for stuff you're posting more publically, at least in places (not in "Wind Whisper," though, that one is perfection).

[yuuago]

I had to look up "sycophantic". I feel dumb. I FAIL AT ENGLISH.

Anyway, thanks darling. ♥ I really do feel a lot better now, I guess I just... needed to spazz. xD *squeeze* Je t'♥, it's true.