(no subject)
Jan. 2nd, 2009 02:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yuuagoMmmm. *checks watch* 1 AM. At 7 AM, I'll be leaving.
I get to Saskatchewan around 12:30. So, I'll have the afternoon to do necessary things, at least. Need to find out what day school starts. Probably Monday, but who knows.
I really, really hope things are going to be all right, but I don't know what to do. I just can't shake this hopeless, empty feeling. Maybe I just need to do some cleaning. Take my mind off it that way. And read a little, down at the Roastery. Ah. I'm about halfway through Pratchett's Nation, and it's excellent.
Even if I'm able to shake it for a while, it'll come back. It always comes back. I feel like this bloody thing is bigger than me. Fortunately, I don't think that what I've been experiencing since around October is the worst. I think what I went through in the 2007/2008 school year was the worst. That was... really bad. I felt so broken. Didn't know myself any more. I still don't really know myself, but that isn't so bad any more. Now it's more of a loneliness thing, I think. And uncertain future. But I know this. This is the familiar ghost. I used to be able to handle it so well, always.
*thinks*
Well. Maybe not so well. I did bad things. But. Uh. I could handle it, anyway. I don't know why I can't any more. I wish I could fix it. I feel like I've always been broken, and I don't know how to fix it.
Anyway. The flight is short and since I'm staying up late (can't sleep) I'll probably sleep through it. And when I get home I need to clean and unpack, and get groceries, and in the evening I want to go to the Roastery and after, watch a little SPN. If I have spare time in the afternoon I might do some shopping, but I might leave that 'till Saturday, who knows. I really want to make the most of my last few days of vacation, because after being stuck at home for so long, I need a vacation from my vacation.
Oh. And I need to phone my shrink to make another appointment. I have a clinical evaluation on Monday, but it's not done by my regular therapist, it's done by someone from the student health centre. Lovely.
Fuck. I want a stiff drink.
... It's a really good thing I don't know where to buy liquor in Saskatoon. *deep breath* That shit's only for special occasions, yes sir.
[edit]
When in doubt, watch more Supernatural. MmmmmDean. I feel better already.
I get to Saskatchewan around 12:30. So, I'll have the afternoon to do necessary things, at least. Need to find out what day school starts. Probably Monday, but who knows.
I really, really hope things are going to be all right, but I don't know what to do. I just can't shake this hopeless, empty feeling. Maybe I just need to do some cleaning. Take my mind off it that way. And read a little, down at the Roastery. Ah. I'm about halfway through Pratchett's Nation, and it's excellent.
Even if I'm able to shake it for a while, it'll come back. It always comes back. I feel like this bloody thing is bigger than me. Fortunately, I don't think that what I've been experiencing since around October is the worst. I think what I went through in the 2007/2008 school year was the worst. That was... really bad. I felt so broken. Didn't know myself any more. I still don't really know myself, but that isn't so bad any more. Now it's more of a loneliness thing, I think. And uncertain future. But I know this. This is the familiar ghost. I used to be able to handle it so well, always.
*thinks*
Well. Maybe not so well. I did bad things. But. Uh. I could handle it, anyway. I don't know why I can't any more. I wish I could fix it. I feel like I've always been broken, and I don't know how to fix it.
Anyway. The flight is short and since I'm staying up late (can't sleep) I'll probably sleep through it. And when I get home I need to clean and unpack, and get groceries, and in the evening I want to go to the Roastery and after, watch a little SPN. If I have spare time in the afternoon I might do some shopping, but I might leave that 'till Saturday, who knows. I really want to make the most of my last few days of vacation, because after being stuck at home for so long, I need a vacation from my vacation.
Oh. And I need to phone my shrink to make another appointment. I have a clinical evaluation on Monday, but it's not done by my regular therapist, it's done by someone from the student health centre. Lovely.
Fuck. I want a stiff drink.
... It's a really good thing I don't know where to buy liquor in Saskatoon. *deep breath* That shit's only for special occasions, yes sir.
[edit]
When in doubt, watch more Supernatural. MmmmmDean. I feel better already.
Yuu. Fic writer & book lover. M/Canada.![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 10:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 02:51 pm (UTC)