Fiddle music is fucking awesome, and this subject is unrelated to anything

I am exhausted because I stayed up too late last night writing Iceland/Finland porn.

Good lord, what is my life.

... Well, anyway. Things are going fine, I think. I have a chance for a job that I'm going to see about on Wednesday, but it might not be quite what I'm looking for, so we'll just have to see. Received a package from amarie_val, which was awesome. Went downtown today because I just had to get out of the house. Other than that, nothing's been happening, not much.

I did get some writing done today while I was out. "Real" writing, not... on-the-fly PWP. Which was nice. It's always such a good feeling to go to the coffee shop and open up my notebook and scribble up a page or two. I worked on that Swe/Fin story I've had going for a while, and I've reached one particular scene that I've wanted to write ever since I started it, so I'm really, really happy about that. I really like the atmosphere of this one scene, and the character interaction in it - or I will, if it turns out the way that I want it to.

Recently, I was reflecting on the fact that I write a lot more than what it would look like. Only a fraction of what I turn out actually gets posted here. Some of it gets tossed up on the anonmeme, some of it gets locked away in my writing journal. Even more of it gets shoved into "unfinished" folders, or never leaves the notebook.

Man. I... hmm. I think I should try to get better at actually finishing things. And not worrying about it sucking. Because that might be part of the "problem" (not that it's actually a problem, but). I find myself thinking "This isn't as good as some of my other stuff, so I shouldn't put it in my journal because it won't live up to other people's expectations". But if people are expecting quality from me all the time, they're barking up the wrong tree, because far more often what I turn out is "QUALITY"... so to speak. And why should I care? Who am I trying to impress? Why am I trying to impress other people? Shouldn't I just put things in my journal because it's my journal and I put pretty much everything in here and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks?

I really, really do not know.