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yuuagoI've recently tried to get back into posting on forums, because it seems like most of Legend of Zelda fandom is forum-based. (Well, there's tumblr too, but I like text. And most of the actual discussion seems to take place on forums). And... yeah, this just reminds me why I stopped posting on forums. Everyone is so nice, but it's a nerve-wracking experience for me! I think what bugs me the most is that if I reply to something, it goes to the top of the board, and then everyone can see that I left some dumb comment. :T UGH.
Oh well. I'd... better get used to it. [/facedesk] So far, it does set off my anxiety, but in a way that is manageable. We'll see how this goes.
So, I'm doing a Hero Mode run of A Link Between Worlds. This is partly because I loved the game enough to want to play it again, and partly because I'm writing fic for it and I want to have it as fresh in my mind as possible. I don't want to accidentally forget some important plot point or anything, even if my story doesn't have anything directly to do with that. Also, Ravio's characterization... I think I can manage his voice, but what's important are his interactions with and reactions to Link; since we don't actually see any of Link's dialogue, I have to infer things about how these two would act together.
That's fun and challenging, but it's also frustrating, because I am well aware that I'm basically pulling Link's voice and characterization out of my ass. On the one hand, it's freeing, because I can do whatever I want! On the other, I'm usually so particular about getting things right, that having too much freedom leaves me going "Oh crap, what if I'm doing it wrong?"
Another problem I'm running into is that I'm painfully conscious that I'm writing fic about a video game. It's... hard. Somehow the mechanics of it keep seeping in. Well, I mean - half of the fic is Link & Ravio friendship type stuff with slightly h/c overtones (Even heroes sometimes need hugs, a good hot meal, and a safe place to sleep. Link definitely ain't getting any hugs, but Ravio definitely delivers the other two here). But the other half of it is action/horror, set in some of the game's creepy dungeons, and I keep running into this problem where I'm visualizing the actual dungeon's layout while I'm writing, and everything right down to the prose itself has this... clunky "I'm writing fic about a video game" feeling. Hmm.
I think I figured out how to fix it, though. It'll require some rewriting but so far the dungeon scenes are pretty short so that shouldn't be much trouble. I need to shift my focus a little from the mechanics of what's happening to, instead, what is going on in Link's head. I need to explore the themes of it. To put it in film terms, psychological horror rather than jump scares. I need to take a look at what he is afraid of, and fill the scenes up with that until they're dripping with it.
I think I can do that, because the fear I'm going for is something that is kind of obvious but I'm sure it would run pretty deep with him: fear of failure. Everything is resting on him. He's the hero. He didn't ask to be, and it's possible that he doesn't want to be, but nobody asked him; they told him. "You have to do this, or it's the end of everything". He goes from being some schmuck who can't even get out of bed in time for work to being, somehow, the one that everyone is resting their hopes on. If he fails in his quest - if he dies - then it isn't just the end for him; it's the end for all of his friends, and for Zelda, and for the entire kingdom of Hyrule -- and Lorule, too.
So, I want to make use of that. That's what I was missing before. I need to grab that and make it front and centre, instead of obscuring it with details. And it feeds really well into ideas about courage, which is such an important aspect of Link. I want to take the idea of courage as not being about acting without fear, but acting in spite of fear. Doing what needs to be done even though you're afraid, because it needs to be done, and nobody else is going to do it.
It all sounds very grand when I put it this way. But really it isn't. It's just going to be a short-ish fic about Link having some scary nightmares and becoming friends with the greedy weirdo in a rabbit hat who's renting his house. I guess it's just that I have all of these really intense emotions about it right now because over the course of the first playthrough I kind of, uh, latched onto Link as a role model a little, due to the stuff I mentioned previously. Courage. Being scared, but doing what needs to be done because somebody has to do it. This is a quality that I need to find in myself, so that I can move forward on the days when I'm terrified of everything.
... Uh. Wow, that got very intense and overshare-y, didn't it. OH WELL. orz
Anyway. It's cold as balls out. Someone at work told me that the forecast predicts it'll be -50C. WTF. Hopefully if that happens, it'll only be overnight. But I'm getting really sick of this cold that we're having, and honestly, it's almost enough to make me want to take a vacation somewhere warm.
So. Because of aforementioned cold weather, this weekend I'll be staying inside... again. Going to try to get writing done. LoZ stuff, yes, but also some Hetalia - I have a fic that I kind of want to have finished in time for Valentines Day, and if I'm going to do that, then I need to start working on it now (even if it's already halfway finished). And... watching movies possibly. Maybe something scary - I've had a bunch of horror movies on my to-watch list for a while, most of them classics that I haven't gotten around to. Or, hell, maybe I'll just give Dead Snow a rewatch. It's an excellent choice for a cold night, I think.
Oh well. I'd... better get used to it. [/facedesk] So far, it does set off my anxiety, but in a way that is manageable. We'll see how this goes.
So, I'm doing a Hero Mode run of A Link Between Worlds. This is partly because I loved the game enough to want to play it again, and partly because I'm writing fic for it and I want to have it as fresh in my mind as possible. I don't want to accidentally forget some important plot point or anything, even if my story doesn't have anything directly to do with that. Also, Ravio's characterization... I think I can manage his voice, but what's important are his interactions with and reactions to Link; since we don't actually see any of Link's dialogue, I have to infer things about how these two would act together.
That's fun and challenging, but it's also frustrating, because I am well aware that I'm basically pulling Link's voice and characterization out of my ass. On the one hand, it's freeing, because I can do whatever I want! On the other, I'm usually so particular about getting things right, that having too much freedom leaves me going "Oh crap, what if I'm doing it wrong?"
Another problem I'm running into is that I'm painfully conscious that I'm writing fic about a video game. It's... hard. Somehow the mechanics of it keep seeping in. Well, I mean - half of the fic is Link & Ravio friendship type stuff with slightly h/c overtones (Even heroes sometimes need hugs, a good hot meal, and a safe place to sleep. Link definitely ain't getting any hugs, but Ravio definitely delivers the other two here). But the other half of it is action/horror, set in some of the game's creepy dungeons, and I keep running into this problem where I'm visualizing the actual dungeon's layout while I'm writing, and everything right down to the prose itself has this... clunky "I'm writing fic about a video game" feeling. Hmm.
I think I figured out how to fix it, though. It'll require some rewriting but so far the dungeon scenes are pretty short so that shouldn't be much trouble. I need to shift my focus a little from the mechanics of what's happening to, instead, what is going on in Link's head. I need to explore the themes of it. To put it in film terms, psychological horror rather than jump scares. I need to take a look at what he is afraid of, and fill the scenes up with that until they're dripping with it.
I think I can do that, because the fear I'm going for is something that is kind of obvious but I'm sure it would run pretty deep with him: fear of failure. Everything is resting on him. He's the hero. He didn't ask to be, and it's possible that he doesn't want to be, but nobody asked him; they told him. "You have to do this, or it's the end of everything". He goes from being some schmuck who can't even get out of bed in time for work to being, somehow, the one that everyone is resting their hopes on. If he fails in his quest - if he dies - then it isn't just the end for him; it's the end for all of his friends, and for Zelda, and for the entire kingdom of Hyrule -- and Lorule, too.
So, I want to make use of that. That's what I was missing before. I need to grab that and make it front and centre, instead of obscuring it with details. And it feeds really well into ideas about courage, which is such an important aspect of Link. I want to take the idea of courage as not being about acting without fear, but acting in spite of fear. Doing what needs to be done even though you're afraid, because it needs to be done, and nobody else is going to do it.
It all sounds very grand when I put it this way. But really it isn't. It's just going to be a short-ish fic about Link having some scary nightmares and becoming friends with the greedy weirdo in a rabbit hat who's renting his house. I guess it's just that I have all of these really intense emotions about it right now because over the course of the first playthrough I kind of, uh, latched onto Link as a role model a little, due to the stuff I mentioned previously. Courage. Being scared, but doing what needs to be done because somebody has to do it. This is a quality that I need to find in myself, so that I can move forward on the days when I'm terrified of everything.
... Uh. Wow, that got very intense and overshare-y, didn't it. OH WELL. orz
Anyway. It's cold as balls out. Someone at work told me that the forecast predicts it'll be -50C. WTF. Hopefully if that happens, it'll only be overnight. But I'm getting really sick of this cold that we're having, and honestly, it's almost enough to make me want to take a vacation somewhere warm.
So. Because of aforementioned cold weather, this weekend I'll be staying inside... again. Going to try to get writing done. LoZ stuff, yes, but also some Hetalia - I have a fic that I kind of want to have finished in time for Valentines Day, and if I'm going to do that, then I need to start working on it now (even if it's already halfway finished). And... watching movies possibly. Maybe something scary - I've had a bunch of horror movies on my to-watch list for a while, most of them classics that I haven't gotten around to. Or, hell, maybe I'll just give Dead Snow a rewatch. It's an excellent choice for a cold night, I think.
Yuu. Fic writer & book lover. M/Canada.