(no subject)

Augh! I feel intensely stressed and anxious! This really sucks!

And like, I can't tell if it's due to a lack of sunlight, or general ambient stress due to end-of-year stuff, or some things on the to-do list that I need to get to but can't do tonight, or... ???

Fuck, I hate my brain. Anxiety just sucks, I hate feeling like this so much.

This weekend (Sunday?) I will hopefully tackle one of the things that's stressing me out. So even if I don't feel better after that, at least one very important thing will be taken care of. (It's insurance-related bureaucracy stuff, ew.)

In some ways, I'm kind of beyond wondering if this is normal, because what matters isn't whether it's normal or not. What matters is what I do with this feeling (or in spite of it). But fuck, it's hard, it's so hard, and sometimes I just wish I didn't have to deal with this any more.

[Edit] I just realized that the current brain-weirdness might be a side-effect of a chronic/recurring but very manageable health thing. So, that's reassuring. I'm still going to try to Deal With This Shit, of course, but at least I have something I can point to and say "I probably feel that way because of THAT" now.