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Tidying Up: Thoughts
So! I finally got through Marie Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Like I expected, there were definitely some things in the book that I found useful, and some things that I'd like to try in the future. And there were also some things that were less useful, or things that don't apply to my situation.
I've decided to take some notes on the things I want to keep in mind. Maybe they'll be useful to some of you, too.
One of the things she suggests is trying to envision what you want the end result to be, what sort of person you want to be; then, work toward that. In my case, what I'm working toward is pretty simple - a living space that is easy to clean and doesn't aggravate my anxiety. This is easier said than done; since it technically isn't my living space, I have some limitations. But by thinking about this goal, it leads to figuring out which specific areas I need to focus on in order to achieve it. Some of these will have to be long-term goals.
A few other points that she makes in the earlier part of the book:
☆ You can't declutter other people's things. This is an obvious one. If you live with other people, you can only really control what you do with your space. But if you work on making these changes for yourself, maybe others will have the same idea.
☆ Organize by category, not by location. It's easier to make sure you have everything covered if you work on every specific Thing that you have; this applies more if you have your own living space, I think, but it can also apply to those of us in shoeboxes... The general idea is that sometimes, similar things are stored in more than one place, so they might be forgotten if you don't do everything at once. For example, I have books stored in multiple places in my room, and if I only tackled the stuff on the bookshelf, I wouldn't be organizing all of the books that I own.
☆ Don't let your family see. Also, what you don't need, your family doesn't either. This one is an important thing for me because my parents tend to try to stop me from getting rid of things that I don't want. It sucks to have to do it in secret, but it's easier to make sure that I get rid of everything I need to get rid of if they aren't aware that I'm doing it.
☆ Think in terms of what you want to keep. By focusing on what you want to keep, it's easier to decide which things you definitely don't want, or things that you don't care about, or are just meh about.
☆ Sort mementos and sentimental items last. These things can be very difficult to decide about, so leave them until you're finished everything else.
☆ "To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those things that have outlived their purpose". This can be hard, especially if you live with control freaks who try to stop you from ever throwing anything away or donating things, but I feel like it's important... After getting rid of the things that aren't useful any more, or things that you don't need or want, you'll have more room in your life (and your living space) to appreciate the things that you like.
The list above was kind of general; now I'm going to list some specific organizing tips from the book that I found useful. I've already tried some of these myself; others I'll hopefully do in the future.
☆ Organize your closet by type. All of the heavy outerwear together, all of the sweaters together, etc. This one is common sense, but sometimes people forget to do it. It makes it easy to see everything you own at a glance.
☆ Folding makes for easy storage. I've tried out her folding techniques with my shirts and jeans so far, and I really like it. If you do a search for KonMari folding, you can find videos showing how to fold pretty much anything. The idea is to stack your folded clothes vertically. This way, you can see everything that you own. I like that it makes it easy to rotate my clothing; instead of wearing the same thing all the time (which I would be doing if I were just grabbing something from the top of a horizontal folded pile), I can cycle my stuff and enjoy it more.
☆ Don't ball up your socks. This is something I never gave any thought, because I was taught to keep socks together by folding the elastic over the tops. But this stretches out the elastic and wears it out. I've definitely encountered old socks that were stretched all to hell and no longer wearable, but never connected it with stressing the elastic. Anyway - fold your socks instead!
☆ Books: "someday" sometimes means "never". ...In other words, assess whether you really will re-read something, or not. Or if unread, ask yourself if you'll really read it at all. A difficult and painful question! But useful to consider, I think. When going through books, Kondo recommends handling it, but not flipping through it (and I guess you shouldn't read the back or the flaps either) in order to make this decision. The "someday might mean never" idea can also apply to things like hobby materials that have been sitting around unused for ages.
☆ Designate a spot for everything. This will make it easier to store your things, easier to keep track of what you have, and easier to clean everything. It will make you aware of your posessions.
☆ Empty your bag every day. When your bag is full of things, it's under stress; by emptying it, you can take better care of it, and it'll be easier to store. It's also easier to keep track of what you own if you empty it - no need to have five lip balms or three different compact mirrors, one for every bag. Everything should go into its designated place; that way you'll be able to easily find it when you need to put it in your bag to leave the house. (I have been doing this for over a week now and I like this idea VERY much, I'm finding it really efficient!) It also means that it will be easier to switch bags if you are someone who has more than one that they like to use.
☆ "Things that usurp floor space belong in the closet". Right now, I'm doing pretty well with this, but there are a few things that I have sitting out that I currently don't have room for (my gym shoes, netbook bag, and the ever-present boxes of books). But in general, it seems to be a good practice. Kondo also applies this principle to things like bookcases - she suggests keeping bookcases in the closet - but that would not work for me.
☆ Keep things out of the bath and the sink area. Putting them into cabinets when you're finished with them means that the tub/sink area will be easier to clean. In order to do this, you need to wipe down your shower/sink things before putting them away, and that takes better care of them than just leaving them in the damp area. The cabinet I would store these things will need to be rearranged to accomodate this, but I think I'll try it eventually.
Something that I liked about Kondo's philosophy is this:
and
Her principles centre around treating things with respect; there's lots of animism in her approach. I can easily see where she's coming from. It's very... If you take care of your house, then your house will take care of you.
It's something that I've kind of been trying to do lately, with all this organizing and cleaning and whatnot. I've been trying to treat my living space as if there is a domovyk in it. Now, do I believe that there is an ancestral house spirit in my home? Well, probably not (though hey, you never know!). But I like the idea of having the kind of house that is appealing to a domovyk. And if you take care of your house, and treat the house and its spirit with respect, then the house spirit will take care of you in turn.
Leaving aside the spiritual bit, it's a lot easier to be at-ease in a place that is neat, tidy, and easy to clean. My anxiety spikes when things are disorganized, or if they're arranged in a way that makes cleaning difficult. So the idea of "a tidy house will take care of you" can kind of be taken in that way, too - a clean house doesn't automatically mean an at-ease mind, but it can make it easier to fix things even in small ways.
In general, I do recommend checking this book out from the library if you're looking for some ideas on how to rearrage your living space or suggestions on how to efficiently filter what to keep vs what you don't need. Most of the practical information starts in part 3 of the book. I definitely found some useful things here - though like I mentioned, not everything in the book will work for everybody, I think.
I haven't watched her show yet, but I think I might give it a look in the future if I can find the time.
If any of you have thoughts on Kondo's book or tidying up in general, I'd be interested in hearing them. :D
I've decided to take some notes on the things I want to keep in mind. Maybe they'll be useful to some of you, too.
General
One of the things she suggests is trying to envision what you want the end result to be, what sort of person you want to be; then, work toward that. In my case, what I'm working toward is pretty simple - a living space that is easy to clean and doesn't aggravate my anxiety. This is easier said than done; since it technically isn't my living space, I have some limitations. But by thinking about this goal, it leads to figuring out which specific areas I need to focus on in order to achieve it. Some of these will have to be long-term goals.
A few other points that she makes in the earlier part of the book:
☆ You can't declutter other people's things. This is an obvious one. If you live with other people, you can only really control what you do with your space. But if you work on making these changes for yourself, maybe others will have the same idea.
☆ Organize by category, not by location. It's easier to make sure you have everything covered if you work on every specific Thing that you have; this applies more if you have your own living space, I think, but it can also apply to those of us in shoeboxes... The general idea is that sometimes, similar things are stored in more than one place, so they might be forgotten if you don't do everything at once. For example, I have books stored in multiple places in my room, and if I only tackled the stuff on the bookshelf, I wouldn't be organizing all of the books that I own.
☆ Don't let your family see. Also, what you don't need, your family doesn't either. This one is an important thing for me because my parents tend to try to stop me from getting rid of things that I don't want. It sucks to have to do it in secret, but it's easier to make sure that I get rid of everything I need to get rid of if they aren't aware that I'm doing it.
☆ Think in terms of what you want to keep. By focusing on what you want to keep, it's easier to decide which things you definitely don't want, or things that you don't care about, or are just meh about.
☆ Sort mementos and sentimental items last. These things can be very difficult to decide about, so leave them until you're finished everything else.
☆ "To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those things that have outlived their purpose". This can be hard, especially if you live with control freaks who try to stop you from ever throwing anything away or donating things, but I feel like it's important... After getting rid of the things that aren't useful any more, or things that you don't need or want, you'll have more room in your life (and your living space) to appreciate the things that you like.
Practical suggestions
The list above was kind of general; now I'm going to list some specific organizing tips from the book that I found useful. I've already tried some of these myself; others I'll hopefully do in the future.
☆ Organize your closet by type. All of the heavy outerwear together, all of the sweaters together, etc. This one is common sense, but sometimes people forget to do it. It makes it easy to see everything you own at a glance.
☆ Folding makes for easy storage. I've tried out her folding techniques with my shirts and jeans so far, and I really like it. If you do a search for KonMari folding, you can find videos showing how to fold pretty much anything. The idea is to stack your folded clothes vertically. This way, you can see everything that you own. I like that it makes it easy to rotate my clothing; instead of wearing the same thing all the time (which I would be doing if I were just grabbing something from the top of a horizontal folded pile), I can cycle my stuff and enjoy it more.
☆ Don't ball up your socks. This is something I never gave any thought, because I was taught to keep socks together by folding the elastic over the tops. But this stretches out the elastic and wears it out. I've definitely encountered old socks that were stretched all to hell and no longer wearable, but never connected it with stressing the elastic. Anyway - fold your socks instead!
☆ Books: "someday" sometimes means "never". ...In other words, assess whether you really will re-read something, or not. Or if unread, ask yourself if you'll really read it at all. A difficult and painful question! But useful to consider, I think. When going through books, Kondo recommends handling it, but not flipping through it (and I guess you shouldn't read the back or the flaps either) in order to make this decision. The "someday might mean never" idea can also apply to things like hobby materials that have been sitting around unused for ages.
☆ Designate a spot for everything. This will make it easier to store your things, easier to keep track of what you have, and easier to clean everything. It will make you aware of your posessions.
☆ Empty your bag every day. When your bag is full of things, it's under stress; by emptying it, you can take better care of it, and it'll be easier to store. It's also easier to keep track of what you own if you empty it - no need to have five lip balms or three different compact mirrors, one for every bag. Everything should go into its designated place; that way you'll be able to easily find it when you need to put it in your bag to leave the house. (I have been doing this for over a week now and I like this idea VERY much, I'm finding it really efficient!) It also means that it will be easier to switch bags if you are someone who has more than one that they like to use.
☆ "Things that usurp floor space belong in the closet". Right now, I'm doing pretty well with this, but there are a few things that I have sitting out that I currently don't have room for (my gym shoes, netbook bag, and the ever-present boxes of books). But in general, it seems to be a good practice. Kondo also applies this principle to things like bookcases - she suggests keeping bookcases in the closet - but that would not work for me.
☆ Keep things out of the bath and the sink area. Putting them into cabinets when you're finished with them means that the tub/sink area will be easier to clean. In order to do this, you need to wipe down your shower/sink things before putting them away, and that takes better care of them than just leaving them in the damp area. The cabinet I would store these things will need to be rearranged to accomodate this, but I think I'll try it eventually.
Taking care of your house
Something that I liked about Kondo's philosophy is this:
One theme underlying my method of tidying is transforming the home into a sacred space, a power spot filled with pure energy
and
tidying ought to be the act of restoring balance among people, their posessions, and the house they live in
Her principles centre around treating things with respect; there's lots of animism in her approach. I can easily see where she's coming from. It's very... If you take care of your house, then your house will take care of you.
It's something that I've kind of been trying to do lately, with all this organizing and cleaning and whatnot. I've been trying to treat my living space as if there is a domovyk in it. Now, do I believe that there is an ancestral house spirit in my home? Well, probably not (though hey, you never know!). But I like the idea of having the kind of house that is appealing to a domovyk. And if you take care of your house, and treat the house and its spirit with respect, then the house spirit will take care of you in turn.
Leaving aside the spiritual bit, it's a lot easier to be at-ease in a place that is neat, tidy, and easy to clean. My anxiety spikes when things are disorganized, or if they're arranged in a way that makes cleaning difficult. So the idea of "a tidy house will take care of you" can kind of be taken in that way, too - a clean house doesn't automatically mean an at-ease mind, but it can make it easier to fix things even in small ways.
Final thoughts
In general, I do recommend checking this book out from the library if you're looking for some ideas on how to rearrage your living space or suggestions on how to efficiently filter what to keep vs what you don't need. Most of the practical information starts in part 3 of the book. I definitely found some useful things here - though like I mentioned, not everything in the book will work for everybody, I think.
I haven't watched her show yet, but I think I might give it a look in the future if I can find the time.
If any of you have thoughts on Kondo's book or tidying up in general, I'd be interested in hearing them. :D
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I have yet to wear out the elastic in any pair of socks I own through balling them, even my thick over-knee ones. Mine always wear out in the feet first. That said, I did go and fold all of my socks to try out her method, and I like it a lot better. It's much easier to pick out what socks I want when it's not a disorganized drawer full of sock-balls. Dunno why I never thought of it earlier, because I've been folding my shirts and standing them in drawers like her for years already. Went ahead and applied it to other drawers, too.
"Someday might mean never" is a good way to put it and something that I should probably try to keep in mind, especially with old craft projects.
"Things that usurp floor space belong in the closet" Haaah. I wish. (My apartment doesn't have closets.)
I think disorganized spaces making one more anxious is common. Have definitely heard that one from other people before. I seem to feel that more than I did a few years ago, though I've always needed to have a clean desk, without too much on it that isn't doing anything.
One thing that I've found helpful (I don't know if this is part of her method at all) is keeping in mind that not everything has to happen at once. Decluttering one drawer is better than decluttering no drawers, and I don't have to spend hours straight on exhausting marathon cleaning sessions like my mom pushed for when I was a kid.
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There's one line in the book that mentions her entire process takes about six months to complete. But I think it only comes up once, so it can kind of seem as if there's the impression that it's supposed to happen quickly.
I'm never going to do an entire-day cleaning session ever again, they're just so demotivating. u3u
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It's interesting that emptying your bag every day is helpful for you! Do you find yourself forgetting things that you need? I've once forgotten to bring my wallet to work for nearly a week because I switched bags during the weekend and now I have a fear of being caught driving without my license.
One thing I'm actively doing the opposite of is keeping things out of the bath and sink area. One reason is lack of cabinets, the other being I just really hate cleaning. I used to do a proper cleaning of the bathroom at least once a month but I always procrastinated a lot and hated every minute of it. So my solution was to have an array of cleaning products at hand, and to clean a little bit every other day, for example a quick spray and wipe after showering. If I kept the cleaning products properly in cabinets, they wouldn't be so easy to reach (they would have to be in the storeroom) and that would be a reason for me not to clean.
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So far, with the bag-emptying, I haven't forgotten anything when leaving the house, though I'm sure it'll happen someday. It probably helps that I keep the essentials together: I have part of a drawer designated for my car keys, wallet, and registration; they're all next to each other.
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The folding has been huge for me. I share a dresser and a closet with my husband and daughter, so the more I can maximize my space, the better. I also love the concept of treating drawers like bento boxes with separate boxes for separate compartments. I made some cardboard dividers for my dresser drawers and decoupaged them so they would be prettier, and it helps a lot.
As controversial as her suggestions for decluttering books were, the book shedding was the part of the process I am happiest about. My husband and I hauled 18 boxes of books to a used bookstore. What we both noticed afterwards was how much happier we felt when we looked at our bookshelves. Where before I might look at books I had started but not finished and feel guilt, now I look at them and feel excited because I love every title there. It was also enlightening to see which kinds of books made the cut. When I was done, my bookshelves were pretty much poetry and spiritual writing, which surprised me a bit.
The biggest issue I had actually turned out to be with clothes, though that's my own fault. Before the move, I gleefully went through my closet and tossed everything that no longer sparked joy. Then we moved to the country and started a construction project, and lo and behold, I no longer had any clothes I didn't mind trashing. Some of my favorite clothing items ended up stained and torn thanks to that, so now I'm a little gun-shy about getting rid of things like paint-stained t-shirts or ugly sweats that I wouldn't wear out of the house.
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Wow, sounds like you definitely started the process at the right time, even if you weren't able to finish it. Good luck with the second round of it~
I think part of my "Oh no!" about getting rid of books is that there isn't a used bookstore around here, or anyplace that you can take them to really, so it's the recycle bin or nothing. Gotta' at least read all of these once before I subject them to that...! (I have a plan, tho')
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Good luck! Hopefully you'll find the folding helpful.
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That floor-space one is really a personal challenge to tackle for me, oof, boxes on boxes on bins everywhere. But maybe beefing up the organizational system here will let me toss some of those out.
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Rearranging some of those boxes sounds like it could be a good idea. Especially if they're getting in your way. Or like, replacing some of the bins with stacked drawers, or something. :Va
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But her show still makes great motivation! Watching her (or the new Queer Eye, for that matter) is always so inspiring!
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I might need to check out her show one of these days, it sounds good.
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But then came the "fun" of having to move to another province, and getting rid of books meant less to pack and unpack later. I went through them all and made decisions. Was I going to read it? Was I going to read it soon? Had I read it previously and thought I was likely to read it again? If the answer was no, then that book went into a bag to be donated to the library. I got rid of a lot of books that way, the library got some donations, and I had less to deal with when packing. And while I still have a whole lotta books, the ones I have are ones that I actively want to keep around, not just ones I'm keeping out of politeness or because ZOMG WHAT IF A TIME COMES WHEN I CAN'T GET ANY MORE BOOKS EVER AND WHAT I HAVE IS ALL I'LL EVER HAVE SO I SHOULD KEEP EVERY SINGLE ONE JUST IN CASE!
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