Mar. 17th, 2017

yuuago: (Small Trolls - Veeti - Skygazing)
You know, one of the shittiest things about depression is that it makes even things that I enjoy feel like a chore.

I wish I could get up the motivation to do something, anything, beyond sleeping and staring at the walls. I wish that engaging in my hobbies didn't feel like an obligation. I wish that I didn't have to force myself to do anything.

If I don't force myself to do things, then all I do is sleep. And that makes the depression worse. So I have to force myself to do something, anything. Every damn day.

To be clear, I'm not upset right now. Not upset per se. More like just pissed off that I have such fucking failtastic brain chemistry. I wish my own body weren't out to get me.

Fuck you, brain. You suck.

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